AOGG'S diary so far

[AOGG]

So I started on 23rd September 2010, so roughly been on CD for nine weeks, when i say roughly well, I've been not SS but a doing my own thing and my losses have reflected in this as its not as impressive as others, haven't had any major binges but found it difficult to SS anyway despite this I have gone from 19stone4and a half to 16stone13 and I am quite pleased.

I have decided on the 24th nov to really give SS a go, no cheating no re-working no picking and I have just completed day 4 SS, I feel cold, and have a bad breath problem which must mean i am burning the fat in ketosis, hate my feet being cold and the freezing cold weather doesn't help at all.

My bust has gone from a massive 50E to a more easier to buy 44E so I am very happy. I don't know why I couldn't SS to begin with and altho i am more than happy with my progress, I couldn't understand why I picked really I guess I just needed to get in the right head space.

I don't understand that when you are big people treat you as if you are invisible, Men don't really chat you up unless they are really drunk and you like your recently single playing the field gym instructor that you have known for nearly 4 years and your just his fat friend who he chats to......... that annoys me but one day he will notice me, he did mention that altho he loves a nice personality he needs to be attracted to a potential love interest.... ie they need to be fit as well infact he prefers brunettes, which I am but his last G/F's have all been blonde but slim, the thing is if he likes me when I am slim, there is something there I can sense it, will I always dwell on the fact that he wasn't able to ask me out just the way I am??? It's the age old dilemma..... I remember when I was slim, I never had to ask a boy out, I was often chased and had my pick.... it's very difficult for me understand why most men are looks orientated..... infact most men given the choice of pretty fat funny or plain, sensible and fit.... they tend to go for the fit one??? Personality is very important but it totally get relegated to.... it'll be nice if she has one but as long as she has the figure..... thats more important anyone else find this, I am rambling but thats because I am frustrated!!

I suppose it could be possible that I could be thin and he still just likes me as a friend???? I will keep you updated, next post will be on Wednesday first for my official monthly CDC weigh in.... happy days

 

[Goreygirl]

Hey AOGG

As you say a lot of it is headspace and working out exactly why your mind was so resistant (what exactly was underneath that resistance). As for the looks thing I think it's a 2 way street. I met my ex over the phone before I met him face to face (not internet dating but through my bank of all things) and when we did meet face to face I was not physically attracted to him (I was a size 14 and working out a lot, he had a big beer belly - and I mean big!). However because I was attracted to the person I'd met over the the phone I persuaded myself to give it a chance. I think that's where we differ from men; we are more likely to push ourselves past the physical where as men won't go there. I used to have to "switch off" mentally about the belly (it affected the way he dressed etc) but my god he thought he was still God's gift! Although he never commented really as my weight went up he knew I was trying to do something about it and that it was affecting my confidence. He only once asked me when I thought I'd be back to how I looked when we first met. We've since split up for other reasons (and before I started CD).

 

[leeds123]

lovely post, very honest. men are fickle! thats all i have to say.

 

[JulesK81]

You are right, men are SO fickle! But when you find one who truly loves you for you, they won't care about weight as much and you will love you through the losses and the gains.

If the gym guy ends up only wanting you slim, then is he worth it? You are the same person, albeit you may have more confidence and perhaps be more outgoing when slim.

You have already done so well - stick at the SS cos the results will be worth it.

FWIW, I met my hubby when I was a size 14 - he has known me from a size 10 to a size 24. He has always loved me and has always fancied me - although he admits to feeling more attracted to me when I was slimmer. However, I think this is normal - I like me more when slim too! And I prefer him when he has been to the gym and has muscles! But we love each other no matter what.

Good luck - keep updating in here, I find it really helps

 

[AOGG]

Thanks, I think I am gonna make a fresh start and meet someone when I am ready, when i am confident and slim, you are right when you say someone will love fat or thin if thats how they feel

GG I don't meet men off the internet because of exactly that reason, I do like you do, i may not be physically attracted to them but like their personality, and when i am they aren't attracted to me! so I decided that it was too much of a rollercoaster to be liking someone without meeting them in real life first, my best relationships have always been when I've met someone through day to day life and this is what i hope for in next couple of years

 

[great things]

i've been reading through and men are strange with big ladies. they do prefer mindless bimbos to educated funny rounder ladies. i've met several men before i met my hubby and they were not a patch on him. you know when you meet the right one, you click, you feel like soul mates. don't settle for 2nd best.

my hubby met me when i was a size 16. i went up then down the i got pregnant and went up to a size 22 then down to a 12 then up to an 18 then down to a 14 then up a tiny bit and i'm on the way down again. through all of it he's loved me for me never for my size.

size shouldn't matter and if it does not you are not with the right person. it is what you are not what you look like. fat or thin. it shouldn't ever matter.

 

[AOGG]

Its Official I am now 16stone12and a half
34lbs in 10weeks

 

[Kippaxmum]

Brilliant AOGG, thats fantastic! And mr right will be out there somewhere for you. I met mine when I was a size 18/20, I went up to a 22/24 and have been right down to a 12/14. Currently back at a large 14/small 16 and aiming to get back to the 12/14 - I was happy there!

Good luck with your journey, you are doing incredibly well so far.

xx