Blufizz munch memoirs-back for the last time

[blufizz]

OK ...back to the task in hand.....shifting this weight!

...not fully rejoined the sw plan yet but trying hard to make some good food choices til i got shopping tomorrow....cupboards are bare lol

BREAKFAST-
porridge/s-s milk
coffee

banna/apple

LUNCH-
not sure yet..maybe a bak pot with chilli beans on and salad?


DINNER-
not sure yet-maybe a chicken kebab and some sw chips and salad?


Had my hair cut yesterday and feeling much better in myself...also managed to get into new combats that were tight when i bought them a few weeks back but seem much looser now...so not feeling so down on myself today...kids back to school today and the walk there and back blew some cobwebs away....
oh and i went out with just a fairly short hoody over my t-shirt...somehting ive not done in a very long time-usually a long coat to cover me up....doesnt quite make sense to me really....i feel i look awful and dont want people looking at me yet i actually went out with it on and felt ok........i guess i prob look bigger under loads of layers and a bulky coat.....its almost like im peeling away the layers of self hate..lol.who knows....(answers ona post card lol)

been chatting to my sis earlier re how the funeral went....and raking up old memories.....find it quite difficult to associate myself with it all....it keeps going round in my head and i feel i should be upset at it all.....i am but not in the way others would be.....

fingers crossed for a good day today food wise lol

 

[Emmaline]

Hi Blufizz, Amazing how a new hairdo can make you feel like a new person...that's great.
Alos great that you have your own diary now and are still keeping on track.

All the very best for your continuing success ....

 

[blufizz]

:wave_cry::cry:

hate the weather, hate feeling so dam hot and fat and disgusting....hate having no will power....

for the last week ive woken each day full of determination and resolve to begin the sw plan.....breakfast is easy but then it all goes to pot...
rushing round after the little ones getting them ready for school then trying to find something i can fit into and that feels cool is impossible....everything i have is either way too tight or too big....

i just feel like a huge over(h)eating blimp!
just feel so low and stuck in the eat-feel-good-for-a-nano-second-then-feel-disgusted-with-myself-cycle......dont know how to break the circle!!!!!

maybe its what happened few weeks ago..maybe its cos im worrying over son no2 going to work abroad or maybe hormonal..or maybe im just destined to be fat for the rest of my natural...

BREAKFAST
porridge+milk from allowance

2x bread
tsp marg
tsp marmalade...just needed something sweet but other than that it was pointless using up my heb and sins :sigh: