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Can I do this? Am I ever going to get there?

S: 24st0lb C: 24st0lb G: 18st0lb BMI: 43.1 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#1
OK, I've been quiet lately... really been struggling and trying to work out a new counsellor etc etc... I've got a weigh in tomorrow, and according to home scales I've put on 6lbs (glycogen I imagine)

I went gym today and felt good afterwards... but yet again I feel into the food hole... and ate as soon as I got home.

I guess I might just be having a bad day, but seeing the increase on the home scales, and just knowing that I am failing everyday just makes me wonder if I am ever going to do this... I'm not even half way there, despite losing 5 stone... :cry:

I don't know what to do... I need to find a new counsellor... someone who explains CBT, thought records and everything else properly. Until then, I just feel like I can't motivate myself to get back on track.

I called a new counsellor today, but got an answer phone - am waiting for her to return my call. Also spoke to a CDC today because I got too impatient and just want to do ANYTHING but after speaking to him, I didn't like the sound of CD.

:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused: I don't know what to do :wave_cry:
 
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Blonde Logic

Yes. You can.
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
#2
Oh hon. Sorry you are struggling again. What do you think is happening, that is distracting you from your focus. There must be something there that is blocking your will to get back on track like you were before....proof you CAN do it. Any ideas? Is it boredom? Or fear of something? Is it worry that you feel you haven't really "gotten it" yet in counseling - because I have those fears too!!

I really want to see you get back on track Claire. Its such a brilliant opportunity for you to nip this in the bud at a very early stage of your life. BELIEVE ME - you will be SO GLAD you did it. There ain't enough stacks of bibles to swear that fact on if that makes any difference!!

Can we do anything to help?

I really want to see you succeed. Please don;t beat yourself up - that will only make you feel bad about yourself - and what you need to do now is be kind to yourself, and be honest with yourself, and face whatever it is head on.

Just remember - if you really do want this - to be free from weight and to change your life and your future, you can. But you need to make that decision, and promise to yourself.

You know we are here for you kiddo.

XXX
 
S: 24st0lb C: 24st0lb G: 18st0lb BMI: 43.1 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#3
I REALLY want to continue. I have no idea about the first 100 days so want to re-do it... The idea is (how it wll work in my head) is that I will find a new counsellor and attend a foundation class from day 1. Lose another 5stone ish (in that 100 days) and then start RtM to learn healthy eating, even though I will still be overweight, but then gradually lose the last part of the weight gradually and slowly.

I guess its just being tht bit inbetween right now... I feel like I don't have a counsellor, or a group... and motivating myself is so difficult.
 

Blonde Logic

Yes. You can.
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
#4
I can understand that and a new LLC is definately the best way forward!! In the interim, just practice what yo have learned so far....and you have us for support!!! :) You kow that!! Hopefully it won't be much longer and you will be back in a good group getting the support from an LLC that you can benefit from!!

Hang in there - you will get there!!! I know you want to continue, and I know you will. :)

Maybe you should get a couple of LL magazines to be reading in the interim - might keep your mind on it. I just read my first one last night and it was very interesting!!

Keep posting - don't go quiet. We are all in this together and we can help!! ;) :)

X
 
S: 24st0lb C: 24st0lb G: 18st0lb BMI: 43.1 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#5
OK... If I write it down I will probably feel more obliged to do it... From this point onwards... I will stick with shakes... atleast until my session tomorrow... and if I can do it until then I know I can do it for longer. I don't know why I need to try and tell myself I can do it... I done 100 days so of course I can do it.
 
S: 24st0lb C: 24st0lb G: 18st0lb BMI: 43.1 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#6
... I remember crying after coming out of my 4th day pop-in when I first started because I had lost 8lbs and was over the moon.... I want that feeling back :(
 

Frejja

Silver Member
#7
Hi Claire

I know it seems insurmountable just now but think back to when you started, losing 5 stone would have been just a far off dream and now it's a reality!

Don't lose motivation, you are going to be a tall skinny supermodel if you keep going...
 
S: 24st0lb C: 24st0lb G: 18st0lb BMI: 43.1 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#8
I think you have been affected by your incompetent LLC and your struggle to find another one. Don't beat yourself up about your struggle. The important thing is your desire to keep going - and you clearly have that. Remember you only fail if you stop trying.

I'm interested about your comment re. CD - as I moved to it. Would you share what it was about your conversation with the CDC that put you off it?
The diet itself is appealing, obv because its pretty much the same.

However, the CDC I spoke to said that I could only see him probably once a fortnight... he was really friendly and was in no rush to get off the phone and said he would always be there for support via the phone... But basically, the situation would be fortnightly, and ideally, he would prefer it if I had someone else who would join with me so that he could kill two birds with one stone when visiting?? I asked what he meant by visiting because I was under the impression most CDC's work from their home.. and he said he was "mobile" and travels to the clients house...

...... Being 21... and living with mum and brother... I wouldn't like to discuss weight issues and diet stuff in my house. I have never discussed it up until now... only ever told them how much I lose each week... and there isn't really privacy in my house to accomodate that.

I'm sure he is a really nice CDC ... but the set up just isn't for me.

How are you finding CD, Dancing? x
 

lola123

Silver Member
S: 14st7lb G: 11st5lb
#9
Just had a look at your pictures claire and you look amazing, don't give up now you have come so far and you will be slim this summer, good luck you can do it.
 

x-Katie-x

Gold Member
S: 17st7lb C: 11st6lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 29.6 Loss: 6st1lb(34.69%)
#10
Claire what is the distance between you and your next LLC? Is it do-able? If so then I really think you need to follow that path asap or find a CD counsellor who is close who offers the one to one to suit your needs.

I think you are feeling the way you feel because of your downhill relationship with your current LLC so that you don't feel like you can go on with this ---- but I'd urge you to stick with the diet while you are looking for a new counsellor, as anything you gain now is something that you'll have to lose after. If you can remain focussed while you find one then all the better.

We're all here for you and will give you all the support you want, but we can only do that if you let us know it's needed. You've done amazingly up to now and you can continue to do so xxx
 




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