cant do this anymore

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Fatty_no_more, 24 September 2007 Social URL.

  1. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

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    I am struggling to not eat.
    I don’t think I can cope at the moment.
    My mum basically left my dad for a family friend a few months ago and I have always hated him ever since I was a kid.
    We went to a party the other week and all night they snogged eachothers faces off.
    I miss my mum.
    She went away with him and didn’t contact me at all when normally she is on contact at least to let me know shes safe.
    She has to speak with me when shes in the toilet as hes so controlling and hes been married 4 times already.
    Just found out shes moving to germany and I said I wont go and visit. And she said so you rasking me to choose and I said I don’t want her to as she can come nad stay with me... Alone.

    I am at work with a big lump in throat and all I can think about it eating. I am starving and just want to eat.
    I don’t think I can do this at the moment I really don’t.

    I am so sad.
    X
     
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  3. Mrs Lard

    Mrs Lard Silver Member

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    You poor thing. That's not good news.

    There is a thread on here about thought records and how to do them (i started it); I think this is just what you need right now. You've done so well, don't chuck it in now. You can get through this, you really can.

    Sorry I can't stay longer to help but do search on the LighterLife forum - either for thought records or my threads.

    Good luck and take care. You will get through this, even though you think you can't.

    Big hugs.

    Mrs Lard xxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  4. Karen1972

    Karen1972 Gold Member

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    Oh hun, poor you that sounds like a terrible situation.

    OK the one question to ask yourself is whether eating food would make you feel any better. Mostly it just makes you feel worse cos you will feel fat, bloated and sluggish. So if i were you i'd find another way to take your frustrations away.

    I hope things work themselves out for you and your family.

    Eating food won't resolve anything but will make you feel even worse afterwards.
     
  5. Madam Mimm

    Madam Mimm Full Member

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    Please, please, please don't give up. Think how much you wanted to start LL & how you couldn't wait for your classes to start. Think about the letter you wrote to yourself. Have a go at a thought record. Speak to your counsellor - that's what she's there for. Don't let the man you dislike so much be the reason you give up. You'll hate him even more. BE STRONG. YOU CAN DO IT.

    Barb xx
     
  6. iceycold

    iceycold Full Member

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    poor you, it sounds an awful situation to be in the middle of right now.
    Your Mum isn't thinking straight right now, and she obviously isn't thinking about you.
    So you have to. You are doing this for you. Don't let her or this man you don't like spoil all you hard work and efforts that you've put in so far. :grouphugg: You're doing so well.
    Eating will not solve this situation, remember why you started.

    XX
     
  7. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

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    i am trying to think of all those things but the hunger and the wanting some sort of normality in my life is overbearing.
    I dont think i will break it as the only time i have broken the diet so far was under doctors orders.
    But i have drunk all my 4 litres of water already to try and stop the hunger pangs but i am still starving. It feels like the first few days of the diet.
    To top it all of my sister has just emailed me saying shes feeling so low she wants to commit suicide..... i had to deal with my dad wanting to do that a few weeks back and i shipped him off to my aunts to deal with (hes disabled so we are his carers). But my sister is only 21 and has so much going for her.
    My heart is torn in half and i cant get my head around how much i want to eat and how hungry i am.
    I thought emotional hunger was supposed to fade after you drunk water?
    Thanks for all your support.
    i wanna go hoome to my flat where my loving boyfriend is and just cry in his arms but i dont finish work till 5.30pm. Then theres the hour train journey and i have to pass through victoria with the lovely croissants.
    Why did i have to choose this diet at this time in my life?
    Mind you my life has never been a bed of roses.
     
  8. iceycold

    iceycold Full Member

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    hey, if you can do this now, you know for sure you can do absolutely anything you ever set your mind to. Stay strong, have some more water, keep sipping at it, especially as you pass through the station.
    Hey!, at least you know where the tricky spots are going to be, that's a good start. Go fill you water bottles up, email your sister back, pop to the loo and it will be time to go home.
    You'll soon be home, but a paper to read or a book to take your mind off things until you get home to your boyfriend.

    XX
     
  9. Helen

    Helen Full Member

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    My heart goes out to you it really does. Could you try and leave work early with a migrane or explain the situation and ask for a bit of compassionate leave? It would at least solve the immediate problem of being somewhere you don't want to be, putting on a brave face. It sounds like everyone in your family is struggling with what is going on at the moment and that they are all leaning on you at the moment for support. Your mum is mixed up too and will probably see this man for what he is eventually. In the meantime her vision is blurred and she can't see how it is affecting the rest of her family.

    Do try not to eat. Emotional hunger is the main reason most of us are doing this diet in the first place. Try to think of how low you will feel in the morning if you eat today and how much more you will have to deal with if you decide to get back into abstinence. What night is your meeting? Could you ring your counsellor and ask for a drop in session? Its early days of LL for you and she may be able to suggest some more ways for you to deal with these problems.

    Let us know how you get on.
    lots of love
     
  10. Karen1972

    Karen1972 Gold Member

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    Life is a ***** at times hun, but these kinds of things make you stronger!

    I've had some terrible times in my life but its definitely made me a better person for it....

    ((((hugs))))
     
  11. girlygirl

    girlygirl Silver Member

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    I really feel for you.

    Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans... (John Lennon). Just when you thought you were in the zone, really on your way to beating this thing, life reared up and bit you. It happens to us all. Since your worries involve beloved family members they are hitting you twice as hard.

    Overeaters and addicts in general are very emotional. We often express emotion through eating or not eating, and worrying and obsessing about both. When you feel things very deeply yet also feel the need to cover them up you automatically want to eat. We all do it. It is habit, learned over years. You are un-learning this bad habit, and that takes time. Every so often life will shake you to the core and you will wobble, but you must try your best to keep going. As other posters have said, eating, feeling guilty and ashamed and a 'failure' will only make things worse.

    Many people lose their appetites when stressed. Not me! And not you, by the sound of it. You are on a daily routine that severely restricts what you can eat and drink. The benefits are amazing and you are doing well. But food and eating are major comfort areas for us. So it's natural that your cravings reappear along with the worry and fretting. Food can only soothe you for the few seconds that it is in your mouth. Then comes the regret.

    If you do waver, let go of it and carry on as before. You've come so far, already. You can do it! I wish you much luck, and hope that you will soon find a way out of your troubles.
     
  12. MsJMC

    MsJMC Strong women stay slim

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    They say when people are low they turn to food ... i think at the time it helps but later it comes back and bites you . Maybe ww for you ? or slimming world ? Very sad story . Hope you feel better soon !
     
  13. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

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    HI all.
    I can do this. I hope i can anyway!
    Just got home.
    Boyf suggested going bowling or something but i want to just sit and cuddle. bless him hes been on a run of nights and is sruggling to stay awake.
    I have two more shakes to have but the thought is making me heave.
    I have drunk my 4 litres and still that constant hunger is there.
    Plus i put on for no reason on sat which is making me just think sod this i'll just put on anyway!
    WHY OH WHY did i get myself to this size int he first place.

    Thank you for all your kind words you all make alot of sense.
    I will keep reading and re reading your words of encouragement to get me through this time.
     
  14. Dub07

    Dub07 Full Member

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    Hi, petal

    Do you want a hug or a toe in the behind? Because you're doing so well and these two things need to be split into two separate problems.
    a) You're overweight. You're dealing brilliantly with that and you can't let anything get in the way of it. Keep focussed.
    b) you have family problems. Few of us don't.

    Sadly, no one has yet experienced the proper holywood movie version of family life that was depicted in the fifties. I can identify with you so well, having put on more than 20% of my body-weight in 6 months while my mum was initially hospitalised. All that neglect of myself didn't help a jot when she died after 19 months. I'm only saying that so you don't think I'm being cruel or nasty. I simply understand that family life can stress us out sometimes when we try to be responsible for things we can't control.

    YOU are the person you have to focus on now. Cherish and love yourself, treat yourself well. I've laughed at the attention guys give to their cars, checking the oil, tyre pressure, polishing, cleaning, buffing... but now I try to do the same for my own bodywork and it pays off. ;)
     
  15. Dub07

    Dub07 Full Member

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    And hey, the pics on your blog say it all. You're playing a blinder.
    Keep it up and look after yourself.

    ((((hugs))))
     
  16. Cerulean

    Cerulean Gold Member

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    I feel for you, really I do. Just to clear something up, the water takes away the mistaken pangs of hunger - we often confuse thirst signals for hunger ones. I am not surprised that you are feeling emotional hunger like the clappers at the moment - so many people seem to be laying so many things at your door...and of course it's your life and your old ways of coping with it were to eat...and your mind and body are trying to help...thing is - eating ain't the answer. Abstinence is about facing the nasty stuff without the assistance of food...on our LL journeys some of us have harder things to face than others - and I'm sorry things are so rotten. Try any trick you can, any little feelgood thing you can think of - but food isn't the answer. You're so strong and have done so well so far. You can do it. I'm not saying that with my pompoms out - you don;t need a cheerleader right now, you just need to take care of yurself as best you can - and I know you can do that.

    Put yourself first - as a friend of mine said recently - 'you can't help noone if you ain't helping yourself'.
     
  17. debz32

    debz32 Gold Member

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    I can do this. I hope i can anyway !!

    course you can !! you have done so well this far.....

    sounds like you have so much to deal with atthe minute - with your family problems.....that must be so difficult for you :( great that your bf is there to support you....

    BUT - think how much worse you'll feel about yourself if you jack the diet in now.....stay strong.....and keep us posted with your success !

    lotsa love....

    Debz xx
     
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  19. janetljones

    janetljones Full Member

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    Hi Lorraine

    I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time at the moment and I am sending you extra hugs :hug99:

    You have done brilliantly so far please believe that you can continue to do so. I struggled last week and I did lapse - it solved precisely nothing, I still had the same issues afterwards I just felt even worse about things because I felt I had also let myself down:wave_cry:

    It is early days for me on LL and I confused emotional hunger with physical hunger. If like me you are used to dealing with stress and problems by self medicating with food it is very difficult to know how to deal with all the emotions without turning to food.

    Come on here and talk to us, talk to your bf as you do and try and get lots of positive strokes. You and your sister can try to help one another - it is horrible trying to come to terms with family fractures and the stress and hurt you feel and see inflicted on those you love.

    You can do this, keep reminding yourself that you are doing this for you and you are worth it. Take it an hour at a time if necessary.

    Most of all take care of you, you are so worth this.
     
  20. iceycold

    iceycold Full Member

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    Hi Lorriane, keep drinking the water, you don't stop just because you hit 4 litres, you said when you were at work 4 hours ago you had drunk 4 litres, you've just said the same. I hope you are still drinking, - the more you drink the more you shrink, we're all willing you on. Big hugs
     
  21. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

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    to be honest i hadnt drunk my water but i have now had my last two foodpacks.
    Had a bit of a cry and we are now going to play monopoly lol.
    We were going to go bowling but i have just had my nails done and dont want to ruin them lol.

    I will continue with my water and have just made one iwht the flavourings so might be nice if i can have maybe 5 or 6 litres which is a first.

    THanks you everyone your all great! Feeling a bit more positive at the moment and am just glad my other half was home tonight as hes been on nights all last week and if it wasnt for him telling me if i break it he wont pay for me anymore... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: then i would have eaten and in secret too!

    Thanks
     
  22. Dub07

    Dub07 Full Member

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    :) The reason any of us are nice is that we've walked in your shoes, honey.

    So if you have to eat something, make it something friendly to your body and then take a deep breath and get on with things.
     
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