Crystal_Clear
Member
Evening All,
My S & S package has arrived and I am ready to start tomorrow...ekk!
A bit about me: I am 28 years old and have always been overweight. I grew up spending a lot of time with my nanny, which involved lots of baking (and eating) of naughty things. Over the years I turned to food whenever things got me down, or i was stressed, or happy, or anything really, any excuse to eat. The result: I have ended up in a mess - 19 stones of mess if I'm being totally honest about it.
I have tried every diet out there, like most of us on here im sure - Slimming World, WW, Cabbage Soup, Lipotrim and Slim Fast have all been a apart of my life at one time or another. But I think the big difference between then and now is that my head is in the right space and I have realised I cannot solve my problem by dieting alone. Sooo come Monday I will be starting counselling and CBT, as I need to understand why I do what I do to myself. I think there are events in my life that have cemented by bad relationship with food, food was there for me to get me through the hard times and I think i have come to associate it as the answer to my problems, when in reality it is the cause of most of them. I do feel strongly that the counselling sessions are going to help me get into a better 'head space' regarding food and my attitude to dealing with big events in my life.
I like to think I am a positive person - I've always tried to get on with life and not let my weight hold me back, but inevitably it does. And when I start to think of all of things that I dont do or I'm afraid to do now because of my weight then I get so annoyed with myself! I am watching my life slip away. I think its important for me to articulate some of these here so that they are down in black and white and I can come back and look at all of the reasons I must keep going with my weight loss journey.
- panicking when i get on the plane that i will need to ask for the seat belt extension
- Not going deep sea diving in Thailand because I was worried the wet suits wouldnt fit.
- afraid to go on the rides at winter wonderland in hyde park with my friend in case i didnt fit in the seat or the bars wouldnt come down
- not wanting to sit outside in my friends lovely garden in case I break her garden seat
- not taking part in friends invites for paint balling or driving days because im worried the overalls wont fit or ill be too unfit to do it.
- knowing i cant do a sky dive or go in a hot air balloon because im over the weight limit
- always having to think about whether or not ill be able to spend the day out shopping without getting sore feet or if ill be totally out of breath if i agree to go on a walk with friends.
I could keep going on as the list is pretty much endless, but i am sure everyone gets the picture!
Another touchy subject is the dating front. Ive been on lots of dates, but the men who are interested are not the kind I am looking for. And I can totally understand why some guys would be put off by the outside 'package' - its puts me off, so it must them. And to be fair, i probably do the same with guys. First impressions are everything and appearance does play a big part - we need to be attracted to someone physically as well as personality wise. Im fed up getting the same comments over and over again, 'you have such stunning eyes and a beautiful face' - well we all know the bit of this sentence they don't say out loud' 'but its just a shame about the fat body'.
sooooo enough of my whinging! But I thought it would be good for me to get this out and on 'paper'. There is no going back, because in 18 months I will be 30 and I want my life to be totally different! I am now at the stage of thinking 'what is the point if this is going to be what the rest of my life is like' and i am disgusted with myself because i truly believe that life is a gift and we need to make the most of every second by doing all the things i am currently too scared to do!
so im going to propose a toast: 'to changing our mindset and becoming the people we want to be'
Good luck everyone, look forward to making some great new friends to share our life changing journey with.
Love, Crystal_Clear x
My S & S package has arrived and I am ready to start tomorrow...ekk!
A bit about me: I am 28 years old and have always been overweight. I grew up spending a lot of time with my nanny, which involved lots of baking (and eating) of naughty things. Over the years I turned to food whenever things got me down, or i was stressed, or happy, or anything really, any excuse to eat. The result: I have ended up in a mess - 19 stones of mess if I'm being totally honest about it.
I have tried every diet out there, like most of us on here im sure - Slimming World, WW, Cabbage Soup, Lipotrim and Slim Fast have all been a apart of my life at one time or another. But I think the big difference between then and now is that my head is in the right space and I have realised I cannot solve my problem by dieting alone. Sooo come Monday I will be starting counselling and CBT, as I need to understand why I do what I do to myself. I think there are events in my life that have cemented by bad relationship with food, food was there for me to get me through the hard times and I think i have come to associate it as the answer to my problems, when in reality it is the cause of most of them. I do feel strongly that the counselling sessions are going to help me get into a better 'head space' regarding food and my attitude to dealing with big events in my life.
I like to think I am a positive person - I've always tried to get on with life and not let my weight hold me back, but inevitably it does. And when I start to think of all of things that I dont do or I'm afraid to do now because of my weight then I get so annoyed with myself! I am watching my life slip away. I think its important for me to articulate some of these here so that they are down in black and white and I can come back and look at all of the reasons I must keep going with my weight loss journey.
- panicking when i get on the plane that i will need to ask for the seat belt extension
- Not going deep sea diving in Thailand because I was worried the wet suits wouldnt fit.
- afraid to go on the rides at winter wonderland in hyde park with my friend in case i didnt fit in the seat or the bars wouldnt come down
- not wanting to sit outside in my friends lovely garden in case I break her garden seat
- not taking part in friends invites for paint balling or driving days because im worried the overalls wont fit or ill be too unfit to do it.
- knowing i cant do a sky dive or go in a hot air balloon because im over the weight limit
- always having to think about whether or not ill be able to spend the day out shopping without getting sore feet or if ill be totally out of breath if i agree to go on a walk with friends.
I could keep going on as the list is pretty much endless, but i am sure everyone gets the picture!
Another touchy subject is the dating front. Ive been on lots of dates, but the men who are interested are not the kind I am looking for. And I can totally understand why some guys would be put off by the outside 'package' - its puts me off, so it must them. And to be fair, i probably do the same with guys. First impressions are everything and appearance does play a big part - we need to be attracted to someone physically as well as personality wise. Im fed up getting the same comments over and over again, 'you have such stunning eyes and a beautiful face' - well we all know the bit of this sentence they don't say out loud' 'but its just a shame about the fat body'.
sooooo enough of my whinging! But I thought it would be good for me to get this out and on 'paper'. There is no going back, because in 18 months I will be 30 and I want my life to be totally different! I am now at the stage of thinking 'what is the point if this is going to be what the rest of my life is like' and i am disgusted with myself because i truly believe that life is a gift and we need to make the most of every second by doing all the things i am currently too scared to do!
so im going to propose a toast: 'to changing our mindset and becoming the people we want to be'
Good luck everyone, look forward to making some great new friends to share our life changing journey with.
Love, Crystal_Clear x
