Dealing with comments??

M

Mejulie805

Full Member
Hi All

Just wanted to see if anyone had any similar experiences or tips on how to manage?

Basically I am happy with how my SW journey is going, and I do think I am noticeably thinner, which people are commenting on.
Mostly it's a nice boost, but there are a couple of people that are starting to really upset me, and I don't know how to cope.

One person I work with keeps begging me not to lose any more weight, saying she thinks it would be 'wrong' for me to keep going. We work in an open plan office and I don't like the comments in front of everyone, and I just don't know what to say. It's not like I'm 7st and wasting away- I'm just back in a size 10 FFS!

Another person from an activity I am involved in keeps telling everyone to look at how much weight I've lost- whooping when I take my coat off, and showing people pictures on FB from before I started SW. I have asked her not to do this, and said that it is insulting to keep telling everyone what I am trying (quite hard) to forget and turn around.

:sigh:

Sorry for the rant :confused: Hope I can get some tips here!

Thanks
 
Sorry I can't offer any help at all.

I the same height as you & when I was close to target I kept getting people I should call target now as I 'looked ok' anyhow I kept going to the target I wanted.

You could tell the girl in the office you've not much more to loose now before target & just reiterate you want to loose more & realise you look ok now, but really want those extra lbs off.
 
I find that "selective deafness" works quite well. When people insist on going on and on about something, they do it to get a reaction. Without that reaction, there's no point. Try it with the first person that you mention.

The second person is a bit more difficult. You have already asked her not to do what she is doing and she is ignoring your wishes. This is unacceptable. In this case I would write her a letter, very firmly telling her to stop because she is invading your privacy. And can't you remove the photos from Facebook so she doesn't have anything to show people?
 
I'm sorry you have to put up with this.

First of all, the person at work. Is it someone you could have a good chat with? Explain your feelings? Do you have the option of emailing them? You could just say look - I know you are coming from a nice place and just worrying about me but I actually find it embarrassing when you talk about my weight; I would really appreciate it if you could stop. Reiterate you know it's coming from a place of concern but really it's very unnecessary and you don't like it. Chances are they'll never mention it again.

The second person sounds like an idiot. I'd be mortified if someone asked me not to mention something again - let alone continue doing it! Change your old pictures settings to only view-able by you, there will be nothing to show anyone and hopefully it might re-enforce not mentioning it. If they ask you where the pictures of gone, be honest and firm, well you seemed to ignore my request to stop mentioning it and talking about me so I've taken them down. It might shock them into being very (rightly!) embarrassed and shutup. You can always change the settings on your pictures once it's all died down. You will have to really be firm with this person I think, simply say "weight is a very personal thing and I think it's out of order for you to keep mentioning it, especially since I've already asked you not to"

x
 
I'm not surprised! Hope you get it all sorted soon x
 
sorry to hear its starting to upset you.

I have a similar issue with a few people in regards to telling me not to lose anymore! All I think is, its up to me where I want to point to be and my sw consultant wouldn't let me get below a min weight anyway. (there's like a min target weight chart online that your not allowed to go below and stay at sw). To begin with it was nice that people noticed but now its starting to get annoying with people always saying 'you don't need to lose anymore just stop sw now'.

hope it gets better :)
 
MrsC2015 said:
sorry to hear its starting to upset you.

I have a similar issue with a few people in regards to telling me not to lose anymore! All I think is, its up to me where I want to point to be and my sw consultant wouldn't let me get below a min weight anyway. (there's like a min target weight chart online that your not allowed to go below and stay at sw). To begin with it was nice that people noticed but now its starting to get annoying with people always saying 'you don't need to lose anymore just stop sw now'.

hope it gets better :)
Click to expand...

Hope so too! It's crazy how people think they can say what they want, I suppose it's when they think it's a compliment??

My dad is a naturally lean person and is always being told he's too skinny by people! I asked him for advice and he said he was the wrong person to ask- the last lady who insisted on telling him he was too skinny and was underweight and he should do something about it got told in basic words she should lose weight!
I was shocked that he said that, but he told me that commenting on weight is not OK, doesn't matter which end of the scales it is! It shouldn't be considered OK to make someone feel bad about their weight whether they are 8 stone or 28 stone! Needless to say the lady stopped talking altogether, but his rationale is sound..
 
Tell them thank you for their opinions but you are happy and healthy and it is none of their business. They are probably jealous and don't want you looking as gorgeous as I'm sure you do!
 
Funny how people think it is ok to comment on your weight! I've had the 'Don't lose too much will you!' comment as well. That was when I was 12.5 stone!!!
 
I think they r being so rude. I mean would they say to someone at my size to stop gaining weight?? No. So why tell someone who it improving their weight and wellbeing to stop, it's non of their business. It's easy to type that but I guess it's hard for you (or anyone) to say that out loud to them. Just remember it's your goal and your body, don't let them get you down x
 
I wonder sometimes if theose kind of comments come from a place of insecurity even if the person doesnt realise, them saying 'dont loose any more' might make them feel better.

I have a friend, shes super thin and has struggled with her relationship with food and spends a lot of time worrying she looks fat (she does not! But thats the way it gets people sometimes) and before id even finished my first week she told me:

Not to loose too much weight basically because i 'have a pretty face and i dont need to be too thin' then went on to explain 'you know some people need to be thin because thats all they've got but you dont need to do that'

How messed up does that sound? Its not something that i took on board because i know exactly where it was coming from, her own issues with food, and as much as i want her to feel better only she can change her thoughts and habits around food like im the only one who can change mine (im not without food issues either!)

Im the one who gets to decide what i want to weigh and i dont ever want to have to justify it, i think 'selective hearing' is very good advice! I would suggest things people say are more likely about them than you
 
That's pretty rough, Sarah Jane! That's great that you could recognise an underlying issue - you've likely hit the nail on the head for all my commenters too!
 
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