Total Solution Dear Diary....

PhatAss

Full Member
Hi Everyone

I'm just about to start all over AGAIN however I am filled with fear of failing AGAIN!

There are many reasons why I want to lose weight. Long term I am aiming at losing about 8 stone but I would be more than happy with half of that. I thought that I would start a diary to:

a) Keep things in perspective and learn to deal with the ‘bad days’ to get back on track rather than give up
b) Give myself the best opportunity at success as posting here will allow support from all of you lovely people as well as give me the chance to share and learn from the experience of others.

Where to begin….

Honesty!!
I’m 29 years old and I have always been overweight. From baby pictures to the last picture that I allowed to be taken of me (about 3 years ago) and in reality up till the present day – it creeps on lb by lb without me even noticing it (denial!).

I spent many of my teenage years whilst as secondary school trying to shift the extra pounds, I either didn’t eat, spent my lunch money on junk, overate when I experienced any kind of mini emotional drama or convinced myself that I didn’t want to be as trim as the ‘popular girls’ in my year group.

As I went to college, I found that mixing with lads rather than girls made me more comfortable as I was quite happy wearing tracksuits (oh dear god) and being out drinking pints and playing pool instead of window shopping and glamming up for nights out on the town. I finished college and got myself a job in an office which meant that I had to change my image. I started dressing like a girl and realised how much male attention I was getting which made me feel good about myself. I got in to the social scene and with every glass of wine after work, Birthday night out, social event the weight piled on. However, I found myself in a happy place with the new friends that I had made and didn’t really care about my weight until I woke up about 3 years ago and thought oh no, what’s happened to me.

I realised that as I was getting older, what I wanted out of life was changing and it seemed to happen over night. I suddenly wanted to be in a relationship and didn’t want to be alone any more however what I thought of myself and the weight issue stopped me from putting myself out there and meeting people. I didn’t understand where my confidence had gone and then I realised that maybe it was all just a front and I had never actually been that happy – more likely that I pretended I was so that people wouldn’t realise? I also suffer with PCOS which means that any hope of a family in the future at my current weight is almost impossible - another good reason to sort myself out then at least a family is more of an option if and when I decide that I want it to be. I’ve spent a lot of time working on the issues that I’ve had and dealing with depression and I finally feel comfortable enough to tackle my weight loss journey with the same determination that I have had whilst sorting my head out over the past 12 months.

I’ve recently met someone and everything is wonderful. I felt good about myself until one day a few weeks ago, he was looking through some old pictures on Facebook and found one of me from a couple of years ago and he didn’t believe that it was me. I know that it’s not his fault and that he must like me as I am now otherwise he wouldn’t be with me but I then looked at the picture and even though I was only about a stone and a half lighter (possibly 2) in the photo, my first thought was ‘I miss looking like that’ and ‘oh my word, I only have 1 chin there’…. Enough is enough I decided and I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to face up to what I’ve become through being lazy, in denial and not thinking enough of myself to care.

Starting Point
I’ve gone back and forth from Weight Watchers to Slimming World then back to Weight Watchers etc for years. In September 2009, I got myself on the Lipo Trim diet followed by a month on Tony Ferguson and did pretty well but true to form, I gave up as soon as people started complimenting me on how well I was looking and I haven’t bothered since January 2010.

Present Day
I’ve spent the past few months letting my weight get to me every day and I’ve decided that ONCE AND FOR ALL, it’s about time I gave my head a wobble and got a shuffle on. I manage OK on VLCD’s and I’m thinking this is the route that I want to go down again. So, for the last few weeks I’ve been researching on the Internet trying to find the right program for me and I’ve come across and like the sound of Exante Total Solutions.

I like the fact that you can buy a months supply or more in one go therefore being skint the week before pay day isn’t an excuse any more for falling off the wagon or giving up completely. I am a little nervous about starting the program hence why at the moment it’s all words and I haven’t started yet but I want to make sure that I am mentally prepared so that I get through the first week which is always the hardest bit for me, but then again if dieting was that easy, we’d all be thin!

Apologies for going on, and on…. This is more really for me to add to daily and then read back over the good days when I’m having a bad day and to keep me motivated. Please feel free to add any comments, suggestions, hints or tips – all are welcome. Looking at some of your profile stats and signatures, you are all my inspiration!
 
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Hey missus, welcome! What a lovely heartfelt post. I can relate to a lot of the things you've said.

Really does sound like Exante could be the answer to suit you.

There is great comfort in doing a diet that you know will work. It leaves u little to hide behind though, excuses and "it isn't working, maybe it won't work for me" stuff just won't stick. I used the above excuses with WW, SW, Atkins etc... it's scary but refreshing to know that I now fully control my weight and future. Just worrying cos if I fail I can't blame anyone but myself.

Hope you join us. Stay in touch. The most important bit is deciding when to start... e.g. play it safe and wait til January or grab the inspiration and get going now. I for one am the latter... the mindset to start a VLCD comes to me so rarely I don't want to miss it, and there will be Xmas again next year...!! Lol.

Spotty xxx
 
Just wanted to say hi :) hope you do decide to join us. You sound like you are determined to make some changes. I too suffer from depression and had a particularly bad patch last year and I gained 3 stone. I'm nearly at the end of my 6th week of Exante and it has made such a difference to my confidence. I always find that even before I've lost much weight, just taking action to control my eating makes a huge difference to my self esteem. Stay focussed and believe you can do it. I look forward to following your journey :)
Hazel
x
 
Well, payday has arrived and I've just placed my first order and I am so excited. I've decided not to wait until after New Year... why put off what I can do today (or tomorrow in this case!) and I figure that if I can get through Christmas and New Year then the rest of the year will be a breeze. Keeping everything crossed! :D
 
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Good luck! :) xx
 
My order arrived this morning and I have to say how suprised I am at the size of the bars, I thought they would be teeny. Just hope that they taste nice as the one thing that I have always struggled with is missing not being able to chew anything on another VLCD that I did. Eeeek I'm so excited now! :D
 
My order arrived this morning too :) Am starting mine tomorrow, when are you starting yours? Good luck to us both xx
 
Best of luck, I'll look forward to reading ur diary!
 
Im starting tomorrow ... Can we keep in touch to support each other?

Course we can hun, I haven't reached 50 posts yet so I'm pretty limited with what I can do on the website (private messaging etc) but we can always use this thread or yours if you have one for the time being but I think it's a great idea. Good luck with your first day x
 
Hi. Im on day 2 and finding it a challenge this morning:(
Glugging my water to try to get rid of the hunger pains.
Hope ur doing ok x
 
Sorry i haven't been on Kelly, it's difficult to get on the PC in my house unless there is no one else in.

I'm only on day 2 today (naughty me!!) but my head is pounding and I'm not feeling too good... bad night's sleep last night which isn't helping and it's my first day back at work today after the Christmas break. I just keep thinking that it'll all be worth it, get these 3 days out of the way and then take each day as it comes after that.

How are you getting on? Hope you're feeling a little bit better? x
 
Anyone know if there is a limit to how much Coke Zero we can guzzle or if we should limit it to once a week etc? x
 
:argh:

Well ladies, I feel like such a failure! I managed 2 days on Exante then gave up because of the headaches and withdrawal. I was really ratty at work and really couldn't cope. Trying to stay positive and remain in the right frame of mind of 'I CAN do this!', I've decided to put it off till my week off work (wc 09.01.12) in the hope that I'll find the first few days easier to handle by being at home. :cry:
 
Just read your intro, we are very similar in past and present.

I just wanted to let you know something also... I have PCOS. In January 2010 I came off the pill and joined slimming world. I went from 16 stone 12 to 15 stone 2 (This took from Feb to August) In July I had my first period, (Before pill I had 2 a year max) and on 18th August 2010 I got a positive Pregnancy test. My Daughter is now 7 months old. Weight really does make all the difference. I am now 17 stone 9 after pregnancy and post pregnancy BINGE.

Il keep myself up date with your diary maybe we can spur each other on? Good luck xx
 
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