PhatAss
Full Member
Hi Everyone
I'm just about to start all over AGAIN however I am filled with fear of failing AGAIN!
There are many reasons why I want to lose weight. Long term I am aiming at losing about 8 stone but I would be more than happy with half of that. I thought that I would start a diary to:
a) Keep things in perspective and learn to deal with the ‘bad days’ to get back on track rather than give up
b) Give myself the best opportunity at success as posting here will allow support from all of you lovely people as well as give me the chance to share and learn from the experience of others.
Where to begin….
Honesty!!
I’m 29 years old and I have always been overweight. From baby pictures to the last picture that I allowed to be taken of me (about 3 years ago) and in reality up till the present day – it creeps on lb by lb without me even noticing it (denial!).
I spent many of my teenage years whilst as secondary school trying to shift the extra pounds, I either didn’t eat, spent my lunch money on junk, overate when I experienced any kind of mini emotional drama or convinced myself that I didn’t want to be as trim as the ‘popular girls’ in my year group.
As I went to college, I found that mixing with lads rather than girls made me more comfortable as I was quite happy wearing tracksuits (oh dear god) and being out drinking pints and playing pool instead of window shopping and glamming up for nights out on the town. I finished college and got myself a job in an office which meant that I had to change my image. I started dressing like a girl and realised how much male attention I was getting which made me feel good about myself. I got in to the social scene and with every glass of wine after work, Birthday night out, social event the weight piled on. However, I found myself in a happy place with the new friends that I had made and didn’t really care about my weight until I woke up about 3 years ago and thought oh no, what’s happened to me.
I realised that as I was getting older, what I wanted out of life was changing and it seemed to happen over night. I suddenly wanted to be in a relationship and didn’t want to be alone any more however what I thought of myself and the weight issue stopped me from putting myself out there and meeting people. I didn’t understand where my confidence had gone and then I realised that maybe it was all just a front and I had never actually been that happy – more likely that I pretended I was so that people wouldn’t realise? I also suffer with PCOS which means that any hope of a family in the future at my current weight is almost impossible - another good reason to sort myself out then at least a family is more of an option if and when I decide that I want it to be. I’ve spent a lot of time working on the issues that I’ve had and dealing with depression and I finally feel comfortable enough to tackle my weight loss journey with the same determination that I have had whilst sorting my head out over the past 12 months.
I’ve recently met someone and everything is wonderful. I felt good about myself until one day a few weeks ago, he was looking through some old pictures on Facebook and found one of me from a couple of years ago and he didn’t believe that it was me. I know that it’s not his fault and that he must like me as I am now otherwise he wouldn’t be with me but I then looked at the picture and even though I was only about a stone and a half lighter (possibly 2) in the photo, my first thought was ‘I miss looking like that’ and ‘oh my word, I only have 1 chin there’…. Enough is enough I decided and I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to face up to what I’ve become through being lazy, in denial and not thinking enough of myself to care.
Starting Point
I’ve gone back and forth from Weight Watchers to Slimming World then back to Weight Watchers etc for years. In September 2009, I got myself on the Lipo Trim diet followed by a month on Tony Ferguson and did pretty well but true to form, I gave up as soon as people started complimenting me on how well I was looking and I haven’t bothered since January 2010.
Present Day
I’ve spent the past few months letting my weight get to me every day and I’ve decided that ONCE AND FOR ALL, it’s about time I gave my head a wobble and got a shuffle on. I manage OK on VLCD’s and I’m thinking this is the route that I want to go down again. So, for the last few weeks I’ve been researching on the Internet trying to find the right program for me and I’ve come across and like the sound of Exante Total Solutions.
I like the fact that you can buy a months supply or more in one go therefore being skint the week before pay day isn’t an excuse any more for falling off the wagon or giving up completely. I am a little nervous about starting the program hence why at the moment it’s all words and I haven’t started yet but I want to make sure that I am mentally prepared so that I get through the first week which is always the hardest bit for me, but then again if dieting was that easy, we’d all be thin!
Apologies for going on, and on…. This is more really for me to add to daily and then read back over the good days when I’m having a bad day and to keep me motivated. Please feel free to add any comments, suggestions, hints or tips – all are welcome. Looking at some of your profile stats and signatures, you are all my inspiration!
I'm just about to start all over AGAIN however I am filled with fear of failing AGAIN!
There are many reasons why I want to lose weight. Long term I am aiming at losing about 8 stone but I would be more than happy with half of that. I thought that I would start a diary to:
a) Keep things in perspective and learn to deal with the ‘bad days’ to get back on track rather than give up
b) Give myself the best opportunity at success as posting here will allow support from all of you lovely people as well as give me the chance to share and learn from the experience of others.
Where to begin….
Honesty!!
I’m 29 years old and I have always been overweight. From baby pictures to the last picture that I allowed to be taken of me (about 3 years ago) and in reality up till the present day – it creeps on lb by lb without me even noticing it (denial!).
I spent many of my teenage years whilst as secondary school trying to shift the extra pounds, I either didn’t eat, spent my lunch money on junk, overate when I experienced any kind of mini emotional drama or convinced myself that I didn’t want to be as trim as the ‘popular girls’ in my year group.
As I went to college, I found that mixing with lads rather than girls made me more comfortable as I was quite happy wearing tracksuits (oh dear god) and being out drinking pints and playing pool instead of window shopping and glamming up for nights out on the town. I finished college and got myself a job in an office which meant that I had to change my image. I started dressing like a girl and realised how much male attention I was getting which made me feel good about myself. I got in to the social scene and with every glass of wine after work, Birthday night out, social event the weight piled on. However, I found myself in a happy place with the new friends that I had made and didn’t really care about my weight until I woke up about 3 years ago and thought oh no, what’s happened to me.
I realised that as I was getting older, what I wanted out of life was changing and it seemed to happen over night. I suddenly wanted to be in a relationship and didn’t want to be alone any more however what I thought of myself and the weight issue stopped me from putting myself out there and meeting people. I didn’t understand where my confidence had gone and then I realised that maybe it was all just a front and I had never actually been that happy – more likely that I pretended I was so that people wouldn’t realise? I also suffer with PCOS which means that any hope of a family in the future at my current weight is almost impossible - another good reason to sort myself out then at least a family is more of an option if and when I decide that I want it to be. I’ve spent a lot of time working on the issues that I’ve had and dealing with depression and I finally feel comfortable enough to tackle my weight loss journey with the same determination that I have had whilst sorting my head out over the past 12 months.
I’ve recently met someone and everything is wonderful. I felt good about myself until one day a few weeks ago, he was looking through some old pictures on Facebook and found one of me from a couple of years ago and he didn’t believe that it was me. I know that it’s not his fault and that he must like me as I am now otherwise he wouldn’t be with me but I then looked at the picture and even though I was only about a stone and a half lighter (possibly 2) in the photo, my first thought was ‘I miss looking like that’ and ‘oh my word, I only have 1 chin there’…. Enough is enough I decided and I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to face up to what I’ve become through being lazy, in denial and not thinking enough of myself to care.
Starting Point
I’ve gone back and forth from Weight Watchers to Slimming World then back to Weight Watchers etc for years. In September 2009, I got myself on the Lipo Trim diet followed by a month on Tony Ferguson and did pretty well but true to form, I gave up as soon as people started complimenting me on how well I was looking and I haven’t bothered since January 2010.
Present Day
I’ve spent the past few months letting my weight get to me every day and I’ve decided that ONCE AND FOR ALL, it’s about time I gave my head a wobble and got a shuffle on. I manage OK on VLCD’s and I’m thinking this is the route that I want to go down again. So, for the last few weeks I’ve been researching on the Internet trying to find the right program for me and I’ve come across and like the sound of Exante Total Solutions.
I like the fact that you can buy a months supply or more in one go therefore being skint the week before pay day isn’t an excuse any more for falling off the wagon or giving up completely. I am a little nervous about starting the program hence why at the moment it’s all words and I haven’t started yet but I want to make sure that I am mentally prepared so that I get through the first week which is always the hardest bit for me, but then again if dieting was that easy, we’d all be thin!
Apologies for going on, and on…. This is more really for me to add to daily and then read back over the good days when I’m having a bad day and to keep me motivated. Please feel free to add any comments, suggestions, hints or tips – all are welcome. Looking at some of your profile stats and signatures, you are all my inspiration!
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