I'm feeling much better today, and back to being motivated. I really want to be healthy, which I'm sure at my current weight I'm not. I don't even want to weigh a certain amount, I just want to feel comfortable, and not feel like friends and family think I've completely let myself go. I want to look back at pictures of my wedding and smile, and not ask myself why I didn't do anything about my weight. :cry:
H2B sometimes calls me lazy, which he means as a joke, but it really upsets me, because I always think in the back of my mind, what if he really means that, and hates how fat I've become. All his friends have skinny girlfriends, and I hate going out with them, I feel so uncomfortable, and feel like they are judging me when I eat.
We've been together for 9 years, so he has seen me go from a size 8 to at my biggest I was a size 18/20. If I'm completely honest with myself, I don't know how he has done it. He hasn't once mentioned my weight as being a bad thing, and has never made it an issue, which is one of the reasons I love him. If only I could love myself for who I am, but I know that I am truly not happy the way that I am. :sigh:
This time, I have to succeed, it would be great to be slimmer for the summer, but my ultimate goal is to wear a bikini with confidence on honeymoon (if that is possible).
Sorry for the long post
xx