depression

[abigail09]

im wondering if anyone can help me, my OH recently fell out with his family (mainly down to the fact they dont like me) and he is suffering severe highs and lows, im worried that he is clinically depressed and needs help or whether he is just down because of the fall out? he bottles up his emotions alot and although i try to talk to him its very hard to come to any sort of conclusion.

its the second time we have fallen out with his family, basically they take EVERYTHING i say out of context, they knocked on the door when we werent expecting them over and i said 'oh hello, what are you doing here?' in a cheery voice which was then interpreted by his mother that she isnt invited round the house and that im trying to take her son away from his family. she also accused me of forcing him to loose weight however he just eats what i eat and as a result has lost weight.

do you think he needs professional help? its putting ALOT of strain on our relationship

 

[Taz]

Oh families are a tricky one! Mothers always resent a new woman in their little boys lives and sometimes they can't keep a lid on it. he needs to speak to his family and find out exactly what their problem is and he needs to lay their concerns about you to rest. Mr Taz has a dodgy relationship with his family and last christmas I had a long chat with the sister that he has almost NO relationship with and I told her that I felt that I wasn't accepted because of the tensions between her and Mr Taz and she surprised me by saying that the family actually really like me and are pleased that we are together. Since then all relations have been a lot easier

 

[willkat]

He may be kinda greiving if you know what I mean!! I have the same with my husbands family, His father is a k**b and has sister who thinks she is so amazing ,clever and everything she says is right in his mum and dads eyes, even though my husband is the only one in the whole family that went to uni and came out with a first All this was ok and we accepted that they are stupid but it all change when we had children. We had Katherine 11 mnths after His sister had her Daughter and his parent have never given my daughter any attention like they do hers. Then we had William 2 years ago and he was supposed to be the prodigal child to them (they really wanted a boy as they have 3 granddaughters), but in the last 2yrs they have only visited our house 5 times we live 40 miles away and we always have made the effort to visit them . So my husband has decided that the children and I are the most important thing to him and that having his family in are life's is such a strain that we all will be better off with out them.

 

[abigail09]

yea its such a tricky situation she says she doesnt want to speak to me unless i apologise for all the horrible things ive said - apparently. i just feel like my OH is realy really suffering, he is always down and im wondering if the docs might be able to offer him counselling? there is only so much i can say and do, ive tried to sort it, i sent his mother a message saying that i didnt mean to upset her and im sorry she feels like that but i jsut got a message from his sister straight back saying if i sent her mam anything like that ever again she would come and 'sort me out'

everyone in the family is scared of her and for that reason no one contacted him on his birthday, not even his nana or dad who arent even involved. we live together and i love him so much but i dont know what will happen if we ever have kids :S

 

[willkat]

Counsilling will be a good place for him to talk uninterrupted and if all this is affecting you life's together than something needs to be done. As for his sister she needs to be seriously brought down a peg or two. At the end of all this it's about you and him...no one else x

 

[Taz]

What an awful situation. I don't know what to suggest hun

 

[mod-karen79]

my boyfriends mum was the same when i first met her. she really didn't take to me. she was pleasant but i know she didn't like me at all.

my boyfriend was living with her and was unemployed. he did alot for her around the house as she's in a wheelchair and unable to walk. when we got more serious she showed signs of jealousy but i guess she knew he would eventually be moving out.

i wasn't the kind of girl he normally went for physically! lol - in other words i was too fat for his taste and i'm intelligent and not a slapper! ... she couldn't work out why he was with me!

...but 3 years on we've proved alot of people wrong, including some of his friends.

the more time i've spent with her the more she's warmed to me. i took her xmas shopping in december and she said 'i don't know how you've done it, but you've sorted him out' which was a massive compliment to recieve from a males mother!

i guess you could try and 'apologise' to her - but say you know you may have come across a certain way, but you really didn't mean it like that and would appreciate if she could point it out when you do say something she thinks is offensive. i'd send her some flowers or something to make her feel guilty! lol don't stoop to their level - it's not worth the heartache for you or your boyfriend! they need to accept that you're not going anywhere. xx