Diary of a shrinking make up addict

[SiobhanMT]

So I'm quite bored and thought I'd start a diary! It's something I can keep to look back on when I'm at goal and remember how hard I worked to get there so I don't mess it up. I've also learnt a few things since starting this in November. It was a weekend at the end of December that I decided I wanted to give the Cambridge diet a go again, at first I though I'd wait until January but I after thinking about it I thought I'd probably end up bingeing the whole of December just because I would be starting a diet soon so I started on Tuesday Novemver 29th with a bmi of 46. I had to get my medical form signed but started a low carb diet until the Thursday. My weight loss went a little something like this:
week 1 - 8lb
week 1.5 - 2lb
week 3 - 8lb
week 4 - no weigh in because of xmas
week 5 - break from the diet on xmas eve, back on January 3rd. No weigh in so I would have a weeks worth of weight loss for my next weigh in
week 6 - +3 (Imust have been really bad)
week 7 - 5lb

I had planned on having a nigh off in December as I had organised a night out at a japanese restuarant but that fell through last minute. At first I though I might as well eat something at home anyway as I'd already planned on coming off the diet but I didn't..I carried on until xmas which I was really proud of. Old me would have just eaten. I wasn't good over xmas. I've watched what I eat all year, denied myself what I really wanted and worked out at the gym had but barely lost anything so I just wanted some guilt free eating. I don't regret it but I have learnt I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Every time I think I'm going to slip now I just remember it's not as good as I thought it would be. I was really worried I would struggle to get back on the diet. I've done lipotrim before and remember how easy it was to slip up and try the odd piece of chicken here or there and think i'd be ok. I was weight wise - it didn't affect my losses and I stayed in ketosis but that was the beginning of my downfall and I'll never do that again. Anyway, I got back on as planned which is another massive thing for me to be proud of. Not alot has happened since then, I've not struggled, I still get on with my boyfriend, I can go out with friends and watch them eat. My mind just seems to be in a completely different place and it might actually work this time!

Sorry my first post was so long. Hopefully I've not bored anyone!

 

[spangles]

Hi and welcome. It's great when you're just in the swing of it, no?

 

[SiobhanMT]

yeah I'm really enjoying it. It has been so nice waking up realising I've managed the diet for another day and seeing the scales go down again. The didn't this morning tho, two pounds up! I'm not too worried as I noticed definate shrinkage in my waistline and my belt does up two more holes this morning I drank four litres of water yesterday and had a bar but think I'll stick to three until the weekend and save my last bar until I go to the cinema on Sunday.
I had a dream I ate a roast last night, it was yum I can taste the horse radish still. Really looking forward to be able to cook one myself this winter

 

[SiobhanMT]

Oh no...half way through the day and only one litre down :-(

 

[SiobhanMT]

I know i've been going on about how happy I am and how ive not struggled but this is where I fall down...I'm so upset and really want to eat something stodgy and comforting :-( i'm going for a promotion at work which is basically my bossed job. I've practically been doing the job for the last 9 months but the company kept getting contractors in to do it (who happened to be my bosses bosses best mate). I overheard them talking and don't even think theyre considering me for the role at all. They only seem to want to employ people in their clique and don't respect me because i've worked my way up from one of the lowest roles in the company. so fed up :-( I asked my boyfriend to make me an omlette but he can't even be bothered to go and get the ingredients, he won't mind making an effort for his tea tho!

 

[hollydollydoodah]

I know i've been going on about how happy I am and how ive not struggled but this is where I fall down...I'm so upset and really want to eat something stodgy and comforting :-( i'm going for a promotion at work which is basically my bossed job. I've practically been doing the job for the last 9 months but the company kept getting contractors in to do it (who happened to be my bosses bosses best mate). I overheard them talking and don't even think theyre considering me for the role at all. They only seem to want to employ people in their clique and don't respect me because i've worked my way up from one of the lowest roles in the company. so fed up :-( I asked my boyfriend to make me an omlette but he can't even be bothered to go and get the ingredients, he won't mind making an effort for his tea tho!

When he's made his tea, wait till he sits down and push his face in it. Or take the plate away and calmy bin it!!!!

X

 

[SiobhanMT]

I shouldn't punish him really but it is all really unhealthy processed cak. Gone to bed :-(

 

[SiobhanMT]

well I didn't cheat. I went to bed and had a bad and shake. I had promised myself I wouldn't have another bar until the weekend tho so im a bit disappoitned a failed that bit. I'm starting to notice im thinking about where my next shake is coming from more so I think I need to cut out the bars as it feels like an addiction is starting up

 

[spangles]

well done. and yes, if you feel those dangerous feeelings creeping in, avoid the bars for at least another couple of weeks.

 

[SiobhanMT]

Thanks for replying spangles. I must admit I've been a stalker on your diary for a while, I love your determination and it's refreshing to see someone who really understands why it's important to stick to it 100% and not think "what can I get away with eating that won't affect my loss" I'm not against thinking like that at all but I know thats where it starts to fail x

 

[spangles]

Heh - thanks. It took me a while to realise that there is no right pathway through this diet. I used to read other diaries completely baffled as to why people were making it - as it seemed to me - so much HARDER for themselves.

I do think doing it 100% is easier, but we're very lucky that we can make that work. Just like it would be infinitely easier not to overeat in the first place - to stop when we're full etc. My husband does that all the time, and as a result he's wonderfully slim. It's easier to do what he does and not have to diet in the first place. But that doesn't work for me. And so, while sticking to the packs and avoiding temptation, keeping the floodgates firmly closed and all the straws away from the camel's back... not everyone *can* do it our way.

Some people can only make this diet work by eating real food every day, or as a treat, or on special occasions. If they didn't do those things they would snap. and we all know what happens when a dieter snaps. It gets ugly, and it can be game over.

The other thing is, just like my husband *can't* eat like I do, past full (not that he'd want to, but...), I *can't* do SS their way. I'm too weak - I would fail. It would open those bloody floodgates and i'd eat my way through a two-week binge. I know me. That's how diets go for me.

 

[SiobhanMT]

I know what you mean spangles in some ways those that can eat and get back on the diet are stronger and we all need to do whatever we need to to succeed.
I'm back to three shakes a day again now that the bars are out, might have a choc tetra ice cream tonight to celebrate another mini woosh on the scales

 

[SiobhanMT]

Only managed two shakes yesterday. Decided to try some laxatives on thursday that did nothing so took them again last night and regretted it an hour later! Off to pick up some new lipsticks later to make myself feel better

 

[Krissykat]

Has the 'problem' resolved itself? x

 

[SiobhanMT]

Nope and constipation and cramps and not a good combo! Darnt take anything while I'm working so ill try again at the weekend. If not, my counseller thinks I should try a week on 810 :-(

 

[Krissykat]

Not sure how that would help, did she say?

 

[SiobhanMT]

No she didn't :-( I'm not feeling very poorly with it, there are worse problems to have I suppose. Maybe this is what I get in return for good losses imagine if I wasn't having this problem lol

 

[Krissykat]

You'd drop a stone in a week! Lol

You know it could be all the vitamins? I've heard (and I think its on the CD website too) that some people are more sensitive to the vitamin content than others so they have to divide their shakes into halves and have them that way.

 

[SiobhanMT]

I only really like the tetras so can't really think of a way to split them. I'd heard all the vitamins may have the opposite effect x

 

[Krissykat]

I seem to go from one extreme to another lol, I'm semi normal now at least and have been for a few weeks, generally go once a day at the same time x