Distilled's Diary

distilled

Member
Hi,

I came across this site by accident and decided to embark upon the Cambridge Diet after reading some of the amazing diaries.
I'm fed up of the poorly concealed looks of disgust from strangers, the concern from my family and the disappointment in my own eyes when I look in the mirror (which isn't very often, to be fair) and wonder how on earth I let myself get this big. More than anything I want to have a family. It's not happening naturally and I've got no hope of getting any medical intervention at my current BMI. I've been on a diet pretty much constantly since I was 16 (weighing 14.5st). It's gone off and on again many times, but I need something more permanent.

My aim is to get to 12.5 stone to start with. I'm 5'6", so this is still a BMI of 28ish, but that's the lightest I've been as an adult (when I was 18!) and I liked being a 12/14. My friend is getting married in August and I'd love to be able to buy a pretty outfit, so that's my target date. That give me just over 4 months to lose 4.5 stone, which, judging by some of the amazing results, should be doable if I stick to it. I may decide to edit this lower when I get there, but I've got plenty to get started with.

I like the idea of having a diary, even if noone wants to read it, because I'll be able to go back and see where I had good days and bad and hopefully learn from myself - I think this will really help me get to grips with my binge eating. I can eat a lot in one sitting, and I mean a lot, and I don't think I'm alone in sitting and eating until I feel sick and thinking, 'Oh I've opened this now, might as well finish it' and ending up feeling even worse. I think the thing that makes me feel even worse is that I got my DH in on the action too. When we got together 9 years ago he was about 12 stone. Before he started on his own weight loss journey (through healthy eating and exercise - this is going well for him) he had ballooned to 18 stone too. I feel awful that I inflicted this upon him, which makes me want to eat. I need to break the cycle, for both of our sakes.

I went to see my CDC on Friday morning to stock up on my goodies for the week. I took 4 a day, so that I'd have extras if I was struggling and needed any extra over the first few days. I was very excited (I still am) and I rushed in to work with my porridge for breakfast and soup for lunch. Within an hour I was on my way home again, having been struck by the dreaded tummy bug that's been going round work (just in time for Annual Accounts as well!) and have spent the weekend holed up at home and suffering. However, I have been 100% for (nearly) three days and I am so pleased with myself. :)
I haven't had any headaches and because I've been poorly, I haven't missed eating at all!
I've spoken to my CDC this afternoon and she's suggested that I come off SS until I'm better. However, she understood that I probably wouldn't agree with her and we have compromised that I will go up to SS+ for a couple of days, just to get some solids in me, and I'm to stick to the lactose free shakes I have left (5, so hopefully I'll be feeling better pretty quickly). I'm not sure how I feel about this. I understand that I need to get better, that's why I got in touch with her, but I'm slightly disappointed and not at all sure I can eat anything - I still have a soup to go today!
I feel pretty lucky as well. I've liked nearly everything I've tried so far except the forest fruits, but I don't like forest fruits, so I'm not even really sure why I got it! I even like the porridge, which is great, because I usually have porridge for breakfast anyway. :)
Right, I'm off to see if we have anything SS+ friendly in the fridge.
x
 
Hi Distilled! Sounds like you're on the right track already and managing your first few days on CD pretty well. Perhaps being ill was a blessing in disguise for helping you not miss eating! I have to say, you're one of the first people I've seen who have said they liked the porridge - I eat it because I also like a hot breakfast from time to time, but find I have to doctor it with some cinnamon. And the consistency.... ugh! :p

Good luck on your CD journey! You will get great support and tips from the people on this forum. I know for myself I couldn't do the diet without it!
 
Right,

So here I am on day 8. Week 1 was 100% (apart from two teaspoons of medicine to stop the upset tummy) and my first week's loss was 6lb. I'm a bit disappointed as I've seen some much bigger losses than that in week one, but, hey, it's going the right way. I've gone down a BMI point, I've lost an inch off my arms and legs (???) and I've not found it too hard. My second weigh in was pm and my first was am, so hopefully, my second WI will be much better (going back to am).

The temptation this week has been insane and has really shown me how easy it would be to slip into old habits. *Warning - food mentioned below!*
On day 1 I helped DH bag up his marinated chicken to freeze. On day 4, the DH came down with my tummy bug, but his was doubly bad and I had to take a trip to the shops to buy bread, crackers and lemonade etc, then I had to cook the food he'd taken out of the freezer for tea so that it could be eaten cold the next day (it wasn't, and ended up in the bin, but I hate to see food wasted so I have to try.) Day 5 he sent me to McDonalds (this is his recovery food) by myself. Day 6 my manager gave me a small box of mini eggs and DH asked me to check whether his pasta was cooked (I bit it and then spat it into the bin). Yesterday I was given TWO creme eggs by senior managers and there was a big collection of Easter cakes in our office, and then DH asked me to take him to the chippy for his tea. Last night was the first time I've really really wanted food, but I had half a Butterscotch shake and went to my WI. My CDC is about half an hour away, so it gave me something to do when I would normally have been doing my weekly food shop and coming home with a snack tea of awful things.
So all in all, even with a slightly disappointing loss, I am incredibly proud of myself and DH is chuffed with all of the chocolate I keep passing on to him.
Roll on week two! Water flavourings, mix-a-mousse and bars will be my 2 week 100% reward to myself. Can't wait! :)
 
Woo hoo!!! 6lbs gone for good! Congratulations on your loss! I know the feeling of being pleased and disappointed at the same time, but everyone's body loses weight differently, so while looking at others is useful as encouragement and rough rule of thumb, you're not in competition with anyone. The focus has to be your own weight loss and 6lbs is great! When I get disappointed I have to remember that before CD I had tried numerous other diets and the results weren't nearly as good. And without CD, I'd probably not have lost any weight or perhaps even gained! :eek:

You did super well with all your temptations and challenges! Wow! Even turning down creme eggs!!! (I really like those, and happily they're not readily available here). You definitely should be *very* proud of yourself!

Good luck for your 2nd week!
 
Your crazy missy 6 lbs is great and I would be happy with that its almost half a stone x so lat yourself on the back and be proud of your first week spesh with all the temptation and poorliness well done you I'm proud of you xc
 
yeah 6 lbs is a really good start and your well on target for your stone a month average. wishing u lots of luck and continued determination !!!!! xx
 
Thankyou all for your kind comments!
It's been a manic week with Annual Accounts and other various crazinesses.
I have been for my second weigh in today and I've lost 4.5lbs this week. I'm in the 15's!!! (According to my CDC's scales, mine weigh me in at 8 lbs higher!)
I've also lost 2 inches off my waist this week. Yay!
I can't believe I'm not hungry on this diet at all. I'm actually struggling to get my third pack in every day - the thought just makes me queasy (I have been getting them all in, my CDC keeps stressing how important this is). It's such a change from two weeks ago where I was stretching my shakes out with gulps of water and drinking them as slowly as possibly and now I'm mixing them up and throwing them down my throat as quickly as I can. I've gone off the soups and I've not ordered any more porridge as I still have a few left. I have, however, got myself some bars and a Tetra to try. I don't like banana or strawberry, so I'm a bit limited, but think they might be a bit more practical for lunch when I'm at work. Also treated myself to some of the orange water flavouring. I actually like water and have easily been downing 4-5L a day, but it'll be nice to have a bit of a change.
 
Sounds like you are cruising on CD and you've got great losses to show for it! Well done and congratulations!!!
 
So I'm on day 21 today. I can't believe it's gone so quickly, but at the same time, I can't wait for the next 9 weeks to be over so that I can have an 810 week with some real food!
I went for weigh-in number three today, and I've lost another 5lbs! Chuffed to bits.
So that's 15.75lbs in 3 weeks. I'v decreased my BMI by 2.5 and I've lost 2.5 inches from my waist, 1 off my arms and hips, 1.5 off my thighs and 2 off my chest and I can fit into one of my slightly tighter skirts. I've also had three comments that I'm looking good (all from the three people that know I'm doing CD, but still!)
Yesterday I went to the pub for lunch with friends that don't knowing I'm SSing, and they were confused by me just having a glass of water - pretty sure I was drooling, sat there watching them all with their tuna/cheese melts, chips and jacket potatoes.
This week my treat is the mix-a-mousse, but my first attempt is too thin (my CDC advised to add a little extra water - must've added a little too much) and there's LOADS of it, I have no idea how I'm going to force it all down. At least with the shakes you can gulp them down really fast...
I'm really suffering with the breath thing - it's so rank. Thick furry tongue and disgusting taste, I've been brushing my teeth three/four times a day and drinking loads, it's sooo gross! I work closely with my team and have a lot of time sat with them, and I'm so paranoid about it. Hoping that they don't notice it as much as I do! However, convinced it'll be worth it in a few month's time.
The next mini-goal is to get into the 14s on my CDC's scales by my birthday, so that's 9lbs in three weeks. Wish me luck!!
 
OMG!!! You are really rocking CD! Congratulations and you will be seeing the 14s pretty darn soon! :)
 
So, I'm on day 29 and feeling pretty bummed at the moment. I'm hungry all of the time, and I've had a hard boiled for egg in the evenings a couple of times. I think it's having a bar for lunch that's doing it, so I've decided to just have shakes for a couple of days to see if it sorts itself out.
My WI on Thursday morning was abysmal - I've PUT ON 4.5 lbs!! How is that even possible on SS??! I couldn't put that much on in a week if I ate nothing but Big Macs!
My CDC was gobsmacked. However, I lost a further half inch off my arms (and put a quarter onto my boobs) and all other measurements stayed the same. I'm assuming (and hoping and praying) that this is pms and I'll have crazy weight loss over the next 7 days...
I feel like my body is mocking me. Making me ssssoooo HUNGRY and then giving me a super disappointing WI - it's like it's trying to make me reach for the pasties... Not happening! lol.
I usually suffer quite badly in the run up to TOTM, but I'm not really expecting it for a week or so, although I have other symptoms too. I've never found myself hoping that TOTM will come soon before. Haha. Being a women is pretty poo sometimes.
I'm off for a girly weekend with my mum and sisters next weekend, and they haven't seen me since Christmas, so I don't want to be all ballooned and bloaty.
On the plus side, I got my first compliment from a colleague who doesn't know I'm on CD, which was lovely. She's been off for 6 weeks, and she asked whether I've lost a LOT of weight (it's 2 stone in total now, with what I lost myself before starting CD) and that I'm looking amazing, really good. Really cheered me up after such a rubbish WI.
Ah well, onwards and downwards - here's hoping for a whoosh this week.
Hope everyone else is getting on ok. Has anyone else ever gained during TOTM on CD?
 
Ok. End of week 5 (!!!). I can't believe it. Where has the time gone??
After my seriously disappointing WI last week, I am 8 3/4lbs down this week to make up for it! YAY!! That's 20lbs in 5 weeks! I'm now about half a stone lighter than I was on my wedding day 2 1/2 years ago and I have collar bones! That seems to be the first big change that a lot of ladies have noticed with their weight loss, I can't stop looking in the mirror.
TOTM hasn't started yet, so hopefully that'll be along soon. I've not lost any inches apart from the 1/4 inch that went on my bust last week. In fact, I'm exactly the same size as 3 weeks ago. Here's hoping that with TOTM a good few inches will melt away...
I'm at the stage now where everything tastes too sweet. I'm living off the mint choc shakes and bars, I think the mint just takes that sweet edge off.
One of my colleagues (one who doesn't know I'm on CD, because I don't want her to know) has actually spoken to one of my team members today because she's worried at the speed of my weight loss seeing as she never sees me eat anymore... Not sure how to tackle this, I don't really want people starting to worry about my health, although, she does like to have someone to gossip about, so it may just be that - time will tell.
Hope everyone else is having a good week.
 
Great loss!!! You must be seriously chuffed! Congratulations! Tricky situation at work - I can see how you don't want to say anything, but at the rate you're going, they definitely will notice that you're disappearing right before their eyes! :)
I like that you are noticing your collarbones - I've started noticing mine as well. Very cool! And when I'm lying in bed, I can feel my ribs and hip bones too - woo hoo!

Continued good luck - you are doing sooooo well!!!!
 
Thanks Tizzy. And Yay to hips and ribs! I can feel mine now too.
Sooo, yesterday was my last WI before my birthday and... 7 1/2lbs! I'm in the 14's!!! Woohoo!! I couldn't stop grinning all day. I haven't been in the 14's for more years than I care to remember.
I had an inch loss off my bust and hips, which is my first inch loss in weeks. I've lost 10 inches overall now and, I about 27lbs, but I can't see it yet. I have started to get lots of lovely comments, and I spent the weekend with my Mum and sisters, who I haven't seen Christmas, and they were very impressed. Even my husband can see the difference. I hope I can see the difference soon :)
I hope everyone else is getting on well. I love this diet!
 
:happy096:
 
So, I haven't posted in a couple of weeks, but last week I gained 3lbs(!) and this week I've lost 5. For the first time since starting over 8 weeks ago now (Where HAS that time gone??) I'm suffering with that most typical and uncomfortable side effect of a diet with very little fibre... I've managed to go once since Sunday and I feel like I've been kicked by someone wearing molten lead shoes :( I've finally managed to track down a bottle of Milk of Magnesia, which is my treatment of choice. I have IBS-C so I have many years experience, unfortunately, but I've never, ever been this uncomfortable - the bloating is horrific :/
I'm hoping that I'll have a good loss of both lbs and inches next week after a thorough sorting-out on Sunday morning as I'm going out for the first time in many many years next weekend. Excited!
I'll be having an evening off so that I can have a couple of drinks. It's all planned and discussed with my CDC. It's not ideal, but I'm not very sociable usually, so it'll actually be really nice to catch up with old friends :)
 
Well done for sticking at it and getting over the gain ... Do you need to update your stats?
I had terrible constipation for the first week but I have taken 2 psyllium husk capsules a day since then and never had a problem since.
I have had 2 planned days off - felt great the day after and discovered that carbs make you happy! I got straight back on SS the day after and still lost 2 lbs at the next weigh in.
 
Hi All,

I'm so dreadful at posting here. Lol! So, two weeks ago I had my planned day off (stretched a little longer than intended, but nevermind). Wow, it's much harder getting back on that it is starting in the first place! I've been SS+ing most days for the past couple of weeks, I think I'm starting to get a bit bored now... I'm in week 12 now, so one more week until my 810. I'm hoping that I can persuade myself into one final push after. My CDC's said she's happy for me to stay on 810 afterwards and just do that step for a bit longer, which I'm seriously considering.
It's been a bit up and down over the last couple of weeks. We went to Norwich for a night out and I treated myself with a lovely new haircut and a trip to Bravissimo. I knew my 36K bra was a bit big, but I now fit into a 34HH!!! (which is actually starting to get a fair bit looser too now) We had a brilliant night out, dinner at an Indian restaurant, which wasn't ideal, but helped me get out of keto nicely for my wild night of three glasses of wine :)
On the Wednesday, TOTM arrived on the same day I found out a girl that I really dislike at work is pregnant. I find this so hard now that we've been trying for 2 years! I was so weepy (not usually weepy at TOTM, usually I get ANGRY!!) and miserable that I had my first unplanned binge since starting. I had crisps, toast, yoghurt and an apple, so it could have been worse, I suppose... Husband was very supportive and thinks it was a combination of carbs from day off and TOTM, so I need to remember to ensure that once I finish with Cambridge to keep carbs to an absolute minimum that week every month to minimise the risk of going crazy in the kitchen.
After my little slip I've been much better behaved, went out for lunch yesterday for my boss's leaving do and had a grilled chicken breast caesar salad without dressing, croutons or cheese. At WI yesterday I'd lost 9.25 lbs! Plus a further 5.5 inches. I'm in the 13's!! That's 39.5lbs in 11 weeks. I've lost 4 inches off my waist in 4 weeks and I've been able to wear my lovely new size 14 skirt to work :D This week, two colleagues that work upstairs told me that they didn't even recognise me! I've been told that I look younger and I think every woman in the building has asked me about my weight loss now and told me how great I look, but with the weight I lost before I started on Cambridge, I'm about 4 stone down now, so I would expect it to be noticeable. Unfortunately, I don't have any before photos, which would have been useful because, like a lot of people on here have mentioned, I still can't see it in the mirror - I just see my big tummy :(
 
OMG what an amazing loss in such a short period of time - you rock!!!! And I'm sure you look and feel much better than before, even if you can't fully see the results yet (take those blinkers off!!!). I find I'm more flexible and am chuffed that I can fit into smaller clothes, etc. However I still have a big belly/torso...it is one of the last places I really gained and it looks like it will be the last place I really lose.

Keep up the good work - you are going to get to goal pretty soon!!! Hope you have some nice outfits for the summer and beach! :)
 
Oh wow great loss love and congrats on the comments and new clothes super impressed xxx well done u x
 
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