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Dying a little inside...

#1
Hi guys...

Well I haven't posted on here for a few months and it's been months of hell!!

I've lost four stone on the Cambridge Diet on and off since last Summer and have felt great at 11stone...then in November I had a re-occuring bout of tonsilitus, kidney infections, anaemia, deteriation of white cells, calcium deficiency, palpitations, hair loss, depression and acne! Under the doctor I started having regular blood tests which showed no improvement and in the end I reluctantly agreed to come off the Cambridge as my doctor instructed. She said although the diet wasn't the cause, it wasn't helping me recover and my body was at rock bottom and being in ketosis was keeping me there. I'm now on a low dose of anti-depressants, which are helping considerably I have to admit.. No diagnosis was given but slowly things started to improve physically. But mentally I was in despair, I was so scared of not being on the Cambridge, of not being in control of my weight and eating. After three months of being off the diet, I've just weighed myself and have gained 20 pounds which makes me feel desperate.

My doctor doesn't want me to think about dieting for another six months!!! I have to say, my skin, hair and general health has improved, but today I'm petrified of the weight gain.. I feel completely out of control (Doc suggested I attend an over eaters anonymous session!!).

Phew, there you have it. I feel really rubbish today and can't see a way out of it. I need to be back on the Cambridge, but medically my doctor won't approve. I'm a married mum of three boys and need to be in tip top condition for them too. I feel angry, guilty and scared.

What a drama queen I am.

Mares x x x :tear_drop:
 
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