Emski's Journey of Self-Discovery - Internet and Scales

[emski]

Ok as I am here every day :character00148:and seem to put my 2ps worth in I thought I may as well type my thoughts here and let you all put your 2ps worth in...

Today Im feeling a little ... well I am not too sure really. I visited mr. scales after work today and he did not give me good news.. According to him I have had a gain:sigh: , not my official weigh in day so doesnt really count. I have decided it must be the green days I did last week.. dont normally do them but did about 4 .. so I am going back to my red days and see what happens...Either that or it is muscle from the 7.5 mile cycle ride that Lindam made me go on at the weekend :giveup:

I dont feel p***ed about it and yet not feeling particularly happy either.. Think its just part of the journey.. (however a very tiny voice is saying eat the biscuit)

Work was poo as well..

 

[sonban]

Aww sorry your feeling bad atback: the amount of times I have visited Mr scales and he has been a meanie and told me I have gained. I have then worried all week then lost. He cant half cause chaos when its not official weigh in. Yet we go back time and time again

Just wait and see what your official wi says you could be worrying over nothing. If you do have a gain its not the end of the world even though I know it can feel like it.

 

[Sophs]

Aww chick. I was feeling a bit like that yesterday and almost gave in to order a pizza. Glad I didn't because Mr scales said I had lost 1lb this morning

Maybe sticking with red days are best for you?

Hope you get the right results at official weigh in :grouphugg:

 

[monkeys bunny]

when is your weigh in day? wait till then and im sure it will all be ok in the end...

p.s. dont eat that biscuit (thats my job)

 

[Lindam]

Step away from the scales - easier said than done! My scales whisper to me all the time, calling me, encouraging me to get on them no matter if I cover my ears i can still hear them!

Keep on track with yoru red days and weigh in on your normal weigh in day - remember you can fit into size 12 jeans!!!!!!!!

 

[emski]

Will WI on Saturday as working Friday.. well I say working, we are having an away day..just means away from the ward and into some poky room to have talks by the dieticians and the wound care nurses.. yawn!!!

The other thing .. and this aint pleasant so if you have a weak disposition turn away now.. I have had a poo almost every time I've been to the loo since Monday.. I dont get that on me red days.. and I think I may have just lost my gain!!!! IYKWIM

I didnt eat the biscuit.. and I also didnt buy the space raiders with 50% extra free.

 

[mod-karen79]

pmsl hahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
that's hilarious. it's the fibre!

 

[rainbow]

Lol - between you and Karen you two have me in stiches! xxx

 

[Taz]

One of the main reasons I stay away from the red days is because of the lack of toilet activity!

 

[emski]

Day two of returning to red days and boy do I feel better for it.. I have added a pic of my butt to my signature.. not cos I am trying to entice you all.. although compliments always gratefully received, but to show you all that it can be done.. I was in size 16s and although I cannot fit all 14s or 12s I am on the way.. I have gotten rid of most of my 16s which is helping psychologically .. I need to get rid of the old me and embrace the new. That is a bit scary , but exciting at the same time. Having gone from over 14 stone to 12 stone nine is great..and such an achievement for someone like me. I never stick to things and am terribly lazy at times. I know that some of you have more weight or sizes to lose (I hope I dont put the cat amongst the pigeons here )and you would be happy to be a size 16, but I was desperately unhappy being the weight and size I was. It took a very upsetting (for me ) episode on holiday for me to reach rock bottom.. I was shown a pic of me taken on a digital camera, I looked terrible. I had no make up on.. my skin was awful, I had a triple chin (I looked like a bullfrog) and just looked very big and masculine.. I was so upset I just stood and cried.. I decided then that I would not experience that humiliation again. So everyones weight issues are their own.. it could be 7 stone or it could be 7lbs that we need to lose.. and we could be losing 4lbs a week or half a pound a week but each loss is a loss and we are all hopefully heading towards a happier and healthier us

 

[Emerald]

I love the picture of your bum! My butt is my worst feature, it is seriously massive. I refer to it like a portable cushion for me to sit on because it's like I had a nice padded seat wherever I go! Anyway I turned in the mirror wearing my size 18 jeans yesterday and had a look at it (you know you can avoid looking at your bum and I do avoid looking at it so put the effort in to see it!) and it looked bad. And I thought 'one day I'll be in size 12 jeans just like the bum in that sig on the forum' So your bum has inspired my bum!!

I agree we do all have different goals and the ultimate goal is not size or weight, but how we feel about our own bodies. I have a picture taken on my holiday from 3 weeks ago and I can't believe how blimmin awful I look. I hardly believed it was me. I look some a fat person from a television show. When I look in the mirror I don't see a fat person (unless i look at my arse) but the picture showed every part of me is overweight.

You've done really well, I can't wait to follow in your footsteps!

Emerald
X

 

[Taz]

Absolutely, everyones journey is unique to themselves and just because you weren't happy at size 16 doesn't mean that someone who is size 22 shouldn't be happy to aim for a 16 iykwim! I am just over 14st and I am happy with how far i have come but I wouldn't be happy to stay here

 

[Taz]

Oh yeah and, that is a hot arse in your sig!

 

[rainbow]

Top pic of your bum! (I think Ive put it in a different thread already.) I totally know what you mean- Im much happier now as a 16/18 than when I was a 22/24 but like Taz I dont wanna stay where I am xxx

 

[Taz]

Every long term goal must have interim goals and they al may be someone elses starting point

 

[shrinkingsue]

Emski I thought this thread was a recipe for a waffle lol, Initial disappointment when I discovered it wasn't, but glad I stuck with it coz its made me laugh.
Can't add anything else coz its all been said.
Gr8 butt I don't blame you showing your achievement off

 

[emski]

Hope nobody was hanging out for day 3..

DA came home yestersday after 2 weeks away.. was very happy to see him.

Had fish and chips with mushy peas and a chocolate muffin last night .. enjoyed all of it except the muffin was a bit bland really.. which i good as i wont want another one in a hurry.. anyway not worrying as I have done some exercise to work it off.

Up at 7.30 this morning and took the dog for a walk up the park and then been in the garden chopping down hedges and mowing lawns, so thats even more exercise.. also out tonight and may shake my thaaanngg .. think I will have worked off that fish and chips by monday.

Had a conversation with a friend the other night and she told me that after seeing me the week before I had inspired her to lose weight and she has lost 6 lbs so I felt very happy with that. Another friend called today and I am hoping he will be joining me on the journey too as he is very unhappy at the mo. But I think it is a little daunting.

Took my ass off my sig as I was getting a bit sick of seeing it lol.. also didnt look appropriate with some of the posts I wanted to reply to.

Hope everyone is having a smashing weekend xx

 

[Taz]

It's great that you are inspiring all your friends to lose weight too

 

[rainbow]

Did you enjoy shaking your thaang? xxx

 

[emski]

Captains Log .. Star date ? god knows Im a wee bit hungover.. anyhoo...

Yesterday(day4)ended up being a really good day.. after doing the garden I managed to have a shower and a really relaxing lay on the bed, which is unusual for me (to relax not shower!)

My friend came down to see me and I fed her healthy salmon salad for tea, then we had a couple of Vodkas with diet coke whilst getting ready to go out. After a million clothes changes I finally decided what to wear..
Jeans with a stripey top.. now the thing is this may seem quite ordinary to most people, however the particular jeans I was wearing belonged to Lindam. You may recall I stole them from her as she was leaving my house last weekend. I had a pair exactly the same but in a size 16. My friend decided that she wanted to wear those. I was wearing the size 12's!!!

Again pretty ordinary, but this particular friend has always been the smaller one of the group. It was a very strange scenario for me.. but I felt soooo confident and didnt feel like the "fat friend". Im not saying I was ever seen that way by my friends or that I suddenly saw my friend as that, but I saw myself as no longer being a "big girl"

We went out and had a few more vodkas.. strutted our funky stuff on the dance floor, then headed upstairs for a chat. Naturally the conversation turned to SW and my journey. My friend says that she is not unhappy how she is but knows she would look and feel better if she lost a stone and a half. We chatted and she was saying a lot of things that we talk about on here.. she knows she wants to do it.. she knows she can do it .. so why doesnt she?

The lightbulb moment number one... she is scared of the person she will become..

Most of us have had weight issues for a long time and we are not happy yet comfortable with the ourselves.. and if we lose the weight will we lose ourselves?

Many of us have done really really well lost a stone.. stone and a half then started to lapse.. why is that?

Lightbulb moment number 2

We are who we are.. we have always been big so we are destined to be big.. we have been this way for 10 years so it is expected that we will be this way for the next 10 years.. we have tried and failed before so it is what we do.

NO.. not this time
this time we deserve to be the weight and size we want and need to be to be happy.

Success can be lonely.. but we should be proud of ourselves..

So after several vodkas, plenty of thaaang shakin and being told by a young guy that I was sexy we came home.. at 2.45am.

Today I will not be venturing far from my sofa!!!