Fear of being slim

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Mrs Pink, 10 May 2007 Social URL.

  1. Mrs Pink

    Mrs Pink Banned

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    I daresay we will get to this in the LL meetings but we havent yet .... does anyone else think they might be afraid of being slim, and therefore sabotage their own dieting attempts? I dont have a clear memory of ever being really slim (even when I was, I thought I was fat I think) and if I'm honest the prospect does worry me a bit - despite constantly reminding myself of what I perceive to be the positive benefits to be gained, not least healthwise ( I lost my mum brother and sister to heart disease, when they were pretty young, and my grandfather had his legs amputated through diabetes type 2 - so that should be a pretty big motivator to shift some of this flab!)Anyway, what do other people think?
    Mrs P
     
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  3. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    I cant wait to be slim......! I know when I was slim I used to think I was fat.
     
  4. Cherry Plum

    Cherry Plum One day at a time

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    The day before I started LL I had this strange feeling, It was like I was saying goodbye to an old friend, I think I hid behind my weight for so long, I probably felt I was going to miss being fat.
    But now 9 weeks later, I do not miss being fat, I relish in my new body & what it is becoming.
    I hope that I will feel like this when I get to goal, because I'm never going to be a fat person again, I promise myself that.
    I hope my head will catch up with my body quickly & adapt to the new me.
    I am a little scared of being slim, because it is the fear of the unknown.
    But I will cross that bridge when I come to it & get my support from minimins, when I need it.
     
  5. Lumpy

    Lumpy One day at a time

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    Hi Mrs P,

    I can totally relate to that - I've done LL before and got completely freaked when I got down to seeing my ideal weight was within reach - really wanted to stop before I got to a healthy BMI, but never figured out why - really good point - hope someone can help with how to overcome it!
     
    Last edited: 10 May 2007
  6. tishtosh

    tishtosh Hopeful for the future

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    Interesting question Mrs P, and one I've asked myself a lot. Like you I can't actually remember me slim - but in fact I haven't been a correct weight since age 10. When I went to my first LL counselling session, we were asked to close our eyes and imagine ourselves as we will be in a year's time. I couldn't and it actually upset me quite a bit.
    I think it's a scarey thought - being someone you've never been before. I'm sure you've started a very interesting thread Mrs P - well done.:confused:
     
  7. Cherry Plum

    Cherry Plum One day at a time

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    I forgot to mention that I was aged 7 when I first thought I was fat.
    I wasn't infact fat & my mother was worried about my weight because I was so skinny.
     
  8. AmandaJayne

    AmandaJayne Trainee Maintainer

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    Hello there, Mrs Pink,

    "....does anyone else think they might be afraid of being slim, and therefore sabotage their own dieting attempts?...."

    It's a really good question. I, like yourself and tishtosh, don't ever remember being slim. I had never bought a size 14, 12 or 10 in anything before completing LL. I could not imagine what I would look like being slim. I had dieting for thirty years trying to get slim, and just got fatter instead.

    Being slim is 'the unknown' and therefore out of our comfort zone. Being slim means lots of positive things but it also means saying 'no' to yourself and being responsible for what you do to yourself. It can mean lots of attention from others (being sexually attractive) - that can be hard to deal with, and threatening. It can mean that you can't use your excess weight as an excuse any more i.e.

    "they don't like me because of my size" - if you are slim and they don't like you, you must look somewhere else for the reason.

    "I didn't get the job because of my size" - ditto.

    Some time ago I was reading a thread from someone who had shed a lot of weight and could now go paragliding, something they had wanted to do on holiday for a long time, but the excess weight had prevented it. Interestingly, they decided that they didn't want to do it any more once they got to goal.

    So, we use the excess weight to our advantage when it suits us. We can use it to excuse us from any situation, or a reason for failure. It is a comfort and a refuge.

    "....It was like I was saying goodbye to an old friend, I think I hid behind my weight for so long, I probably felt I was going to miss being fat....."

    Cherry Plum, that makes a lot of sense...
     
  9. pbfhpunk

    pbfhpunk Full Member

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    I'm not fearful of it jus tnot sure if it will be the change I expect.

    My teeth were very crooked and for years I never smiled and then aobut 2.5 years ago I had a fixed brace and thought when that comes off I'll be so confident it'll be amazing it's really been holding me back, I had it removed a year ago and, although I do smile more, my confidence hasn't increased, so now i'm in the position of when I shift all this weight then I'll be confident, it'll be amazing etc etc, so what if this isn't the magic quick fix I think what if I'm a size X but still not confident???????

    Thing is I used to be so confident when I was a kid but when I started high school I got lot's of stick thin, blonde friends and they all made fun of my boobs! and then I just really withdrew into my self, it's so strange even now I could be out in town with a low cut top really buzzing and ocnfident but as soon as I see someone I went to school with I go and sit down and put my coat on and pull it round me!!

    It's so strange!

    Helen
     
  10. In search of me

    In search of me Silver Member

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    Can totally relate to this having hidden behind my fat for years! While scary to come out from behind my wall of blubber I also feel very excited by the prospect of feeling sexy & confident...thankfully I have close friends who will support me in the fears and remind me that they love me thin, fat, whatever but I also learning to rejoice in the excitement they feel at my emergence! I am now also able to start loving myself at last and that may lead to a stonkingly good looking bloke (with lots of money!!) falling madly in love wih my new sylph like body (& pay for new boobies for me!) but it may not & both are fine! What is important is that I am starting to love myself - does that make sence? Definately fabuously terryfying but I know I'll get through it!
     
  11. supermum

    supermum Full Member

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    We discussed this last night ! Everyone admitted to not feeling how they thought they would now that we have lost our weight (am in mgmt now)

    I think this is all about what you perceive it will be like. Believe it or not most of us are getting fed up with people commenting on our weight loss because no one says - you are a very kind person - they just say - wow you are skinny or don't lose anymore - it's like talk me not what I look like so I think AJ is right we use our weight for excuses.

    I think it is all about living up to your expectations now - you think you will be happy when you are thin but maybe you should try to be happier with some aspects of your life rather than beleiving being slim will solve all of your problems.

    Great post !
     
  12. sugarmash

    sugarmash Member

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    I know from my past actions that I get scared when I lose weight. I've been big for the majority of my life and I'm sort of afraid of what will happen to the person I've been all these years, for all I know people might not like a slim me. I'm in a different mindset now, this diet is IT for me...but I still worry.
     
  13. tishtosh

    tishtosh Hopeful for the future

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    I agree sugarmash, It is scary and it's the same sort of fear I had before I started LL. Fearing the unknown and fear of f**lure (sorry). But I do feel more hopeful now that maybe oneday this year I may actually be a weight that's within my normal range. I know I'm very much in the honeymoon period still but I think the 1st couple of stone will come off very quickly before I get bored and then settle into the usual 3/4 lb a week.
    Here's hoping anyway ..... I hope this thread continues as it's so good to hear about others' journey.
     
  14. katie_oxo

    katie_oxo Silver Member

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    I hadn't even thought about being scared of being slim .... maybe that's because I can't hardly remember being slim (about 19 years ago) so I can't remember how it feels. Hopefully this isn't something that will hit me in the future.

    Cath
     
  15. tishtosh

    tishtosh Hopeful for the future

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    I suppose it's more anxiety about whether I'll be the same Trish. I imagine I won't be the same as (hopefully) my weight won't be such an issue and there will be other priorities. But because I can't visualise what looking slim (for me) might be it scares me. Like you Katie I can't remember being slim, though for many more years than you.
    Great loss though well done....
     
  16. Just Do It

    Just Do It Full Member

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    Hi, last night i was standing in a queue behind some one the same height as me, paying for her petrol and she was really slim and wearing nice clothes.

    I suddenly got this thought "What's the big deal about being slim anyway?"

    I didn't understand why I thought that, it didn't make sense. Is it just me looking for an excuse to stay the way I am. Am I afraid of being slim? Or is it my subconscious trying to pursuade me I still need all of those comforting foods that I don't really want to give up.

    The other day I found myself thinking that I look allright now. Oh yeah, I went in the bath and couldn't believe that thought had even popped into my head.


    I think I'm afraid that when I get to goal, I will do management and I know I won't be able to go back to being the person who just reached for the carbs. And like its been said I felt comfortable being like that. Its like a mind battle between success and failure.

    I suppose thats what abstinance does, makes you face up to reality. Instead of battling with points, good foods bad foods etc we are battling our inner selves, old old habits, deep rooted subconscious thought patterns etc.

    Or am I just light headed from lack of food??
     
  17. Lumpy

    Lumpy One day at a time

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    "I suppose thats what abstinance does, makes you face up to reality. Instead of battling with points, good foods bad foods etc we are battling our inner selves, old old habits, deep rooted subconscious thought patterns etc."

    Just do it - OMG! I think you hit the nail right on the head - well said! That's given me food for thought if you'll pardon the pun :D

    Lumpy x
     
  18. Cherry Plum

    Cherry Plum One day at a time

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    You are so right JDI and what a battle I've got ahead of me. LOL
     
  19. NICKY

    NICKY Full Member

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    What You Need To Remember Is That Weight Loss Does Not Change The Person You Are On The Inside
    You Will Still Be The Same Tish
    There Will Just Be Less Of Her
    It Is Other Peoples Attitudes Towards You That Will Change
    Sometimes Not In A Good Way
    But Hold Your Head Up And Be Proud Of Yourself
    You Have Come A Long Way
    Xxxxx
     
  20. tishtosh

    tishtosh Hopeful for the future

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    Thanks a lot Nicky .... I appreciate that xx
     
  21. Eileen

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    This is a great thread, a lot of comments i can hear myself saying. I can remember been slim & i think yes there were good times & bad, i dont think slim makes you happy, its whats going on in your life that makes you feel good or bad.
     
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