Hiya -
(this might start on a strange footing but bear with me!)
My older sister met her partner at 15 and after 16 years together, they finally got married. 3 months later my sister left him. It turns out she'd been unhappy for years, and in a desperate bid to save the relationship her ex hubby suggested they got married. She went through with it but said she regretted it right away, but it was taking that step which made her realise she had to change her situation. At first she kept saying 'I should have left sooner - I was unhappy'.
But, when she met her current partner the change in her was HUGE. She was back to the smiling happy sister I knew growing up. And more importantly, I think that she appreciates him more because of what she went through.
It goes to show how much people 'ignore' problems regardless of the emotional impact it has on us: weight, bad job, bad marriage/relationships. We ALL do this in one way or another...the strength is doing something - no matter how long we let it ride first.
So, though you could have acted sooner - don't let the 'what ifs' come between you and the massive achievement! You're doing amazingly and need to remind yourself of that every time you feel this way.
You cannot change the past, as much as it would be useful at times, and you cannot miss the present looking back. One of my fave quotes is:
''The past is history, the future is a mystery. Today is a gift and we call it the present.''
Don't feel sad - you are doing so well - keep smiling honey x