hello wemitts, i need your help

Discussion in 'WeMITTS (We Mean It This Time)' started by devonbabe, 30 January 2007 Social URL.

  1. devonbabe

    devonbabe Silver Member

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    hi everyone.
    i was wondering if you guys could help me out here

    i would like some words of wisdom to help someone lose a lot of weight. somewhere around 15stones, ideas and motivators i can pass on.

    what keeps you going?
    what made you decide now was the time?
    how have you coped with running the family as well.?
    what do you do in social situations?
    what what your ultimate goal?
    how did you reward yourself for reaching your goal?
    what one thing keeps you on the straight and narrow?
    do you keep a diary?
    are you prepared to change your mindset about food?
    will you be persueded to 'have a break' by socalled friends

    thanks everso
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    Jo
     
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  3. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    Hi jo I started at 25 st 5lbs so ideally want to lose 15 stone, what keeps me going is wanting to buy clothes in any shop I fancy instead of mail order catalogues as even Evans clothes didnt fit me. Then I want to go swimming for myself and with my boys, as there dad is not a great swimmer so I want to get in the pool without feeling like I am beached....lol.
    Now is the time for me....my mum died of breast cancer, being obese can make your risk factor higher to get it. Im fed up with sitting on the sidelines while my family have fun.
    I also have a hernia which has been made worse by my weight so I have to lose weight to have my surgery.
    My family have been great especially my boys...I told them the day I started to follow me if I go in the kitchen and if it looks like Im going to eat something to arrest me( this makes it fun for the kids) so they are always following me and keeping check that I dont eat.
    Obviously it is hard in the beginning with the cooking but it does get easier.
    As I have seen the results it makes me more determined to stick to it.....I have forwarned people of my diet before social gatherings and told them I will not be eating and if needs be I will not attend if it will upset people.
    I have only had encouragement so far when at gatherings. so no problems there.
    My opinion on food has changed, ie the size of portions and what junk we had been eating.
    Hope this helps if you need anymore help feel free to ask.
     
  4. devonbabe

    devonbabe Silver Member

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    sorry not ignoring you Son, just nipping in and out again. im busy at work and havent got much time.

    thanks for the reply. can we chat again later?
    xxxxx
     
  5. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    Yeh sure......If I can help other people I will
     
  6. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    HAVE YOU GOT SOME NEW PEEPZ JOING WITH YOU THEN.....ooops caps lock sorry lol.
    If you have any questions I dont mind answering them no matter how personal, if I can help someone else I will.
     
  7. devonbabe

    devonbabe Silver Member

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    hiya Son

    its nice to get someone elses reasons.
    i know mine was mostly vanity. i looked awful being overweight and it upset me that id got so big. i wanted to wear high street fashion and i felt i looked plain old and fat on the outside, but inside i felt young sexy and trendy. what i saw in the mirror wasnt the person i knew i was inside ( if that makes sense) my aim was to wear a gorgeous christmas party dress, and a tiny bikini.

    other people dont think like that. when i ask them sometimes what their personal goal or dream is, they just look at me blankly.

    when youve got so much weight to lose i know its difficult to imagine yourself any different.

    i know i felt that i could never be a size 12..that was for other people not me

    i was thinking ..if it was difficult for me, ( iwas 17.7 stone) how does it feel when youre 24/25/26/27 stone and have double what i lost to lose

    i thought i would fail. i thought i couldnt do it, but at the same time i saw all these other people losing weight doing this diet and i was jealous of them. i wanted it too. thats what kept me going

    and sometimes people seem to think theyre going to fail even before they give it a good chance. some people come to me wanting to lose weight, but at the same time they are so negitive i know theyre not going to give it their best shot. it seems that they want their cake and eat it. i hear this type of thing..' i want to lose weight quickly, and then in the next sentance they say i dont want to be unsociable, i still want to go out and eat and drink at the weekend. sometimes i find this barrier really difficult to overcome. some people dont want to change thier life style they just want to lose the weight. it upsets me when a very large person comes to me and does a few weeks on the diet, then starts nibbling, then gives up. sometimes i just want to shake them and tell them to dedicate 6 months to themsleves, they deserve it. they obviously want to lose weight but seem to put barriers in their own way. how can i help? can i? do they want me to help? i dont want to make people feel im nagging them. i just want to support them

    also i always get asked. how have you kept it off? and when i say i watch everything i eat, weigh myself regularly and do lots of excercise. they look at me like im completly nuts!

    i know that to keep being a size 12 i have to work hard at it. its too easy for me to slip. i have to keep at it. i tell peolpe a 'diet is for life' not just for the period of time you are using the CD/LL/LP product. i also know that you do have to change your way of life and your perception of food and yourself to keep slim.

    any advice would be so great

    ive recently asked some peole to keep a diary to help them focus. do you think this is a good idea?

    thanks so much for reading my wafflings....

    xxxxx
     
  8. Karen

    Karen Serial Foodie!

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    hi DB,

    im gonna email u if thats ok?
     
  9. devonbabe

    devonbabe Silver Member

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    ohh yeh ok
    xxx
     
  10. westhills

    westhills I STILL mean it!

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    I think you have to "know" deep inside yourself that this time you can do it, and that you are going to do it, for yourself.
    I tell people, usually at the first meeting, that their answer to almost any "can I have?" question is NO. I tell them, there and then, that there is no point starting VLCD unless they are totally committed. Another fabourite phrase of mine is "You can't make an ommelette without breaking eggs"
    I find that HOPE is a powerful motivator for many seriously overweight people. They have come to believe that they are destined to be fat forever, and if the message can be got across that they have a CHOICE, they are empowered in a way that is wonderful to see. After the first week, the "I can do this!" kicks in, and as long as they are focussed and determined, there's no stopping them.
    It has to be the right time for people though DB, sometimes there's nothing anyone can do - you can't win them all can you? (although wouldn't that be wonderful)
    Another thing I found useful was a graph. 1 square = 1 day across and 1 square = 1 pound down the side. I then did a dotted line projecting a 4lb a week weight loss. In this way I could see how much I's weigh, on any given date, IF I STUCK TO THE DIET. It worked - I never strayed far from that line.
    Hope this helps.
    Ann x
     
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  11. Karen

    Karen Serial Foodie!

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    u must be a great cdc ann, tho i never doubted it for a second!

    i think it is a good idea to get people to keep a diary. they will learn their tiggers and how moods affect them etc. as they go along they cn look back and see how their mind and body has progressed too which can only be motivational, in my opinion.

    xxxxxxx
     
  12. westhills

    westhills I STILL mean it!

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  13. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    I just want my life back, Im fed up with being sat on the sidelines while my family have fun. And I want to be able to wear fashionable shapely clothes that dont make me look like a walking tent. Then there is my surgery I need to get that done as Iv lived with it for so long now and the pain prevents me doing what I can do at the moment like walking.
     
  14. EmMUK

    EmMUK Trying Hard!

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    for me it's totally different. I have always been overweight, since I was 8 months old and my mum was told to force feed me because I was too small - great idea doctors!!! I was 10 stone at 10yrs and 12 stone at 12yrs and it continued the same way until my final high of 23 stone. I never feel full EVER, we believe I never learned my full mechanism because of being force fed. on top of that I turned to food the way my mum turned to alcohol. however I dealt with being fat very young, at about 10 years old when I was awfully bullied. many people might have decided they had to do something about it but my stubborn streak meant I decided that this was me and everyone else would have to cope with it. My mum put me on diets from 13 yrs old onwards and I would just cheat, I didn't want to change who I was. I decided that real friends would come who would see through the image to the heart, and it did happen. I decided I would do anything I wanted and did, I had the career, I travelled the world, I got married and I was happy. the first trigger came when I couldn't get pg and I managed to loose 3 stone but then the weight loss was also affecting my fertility and it turned out I had bigger problems. so the weight loss stopped and fertility treatment started and weight went back on but then rachel arrived and I am now complete.

    and then the strangest thing happened. I realised that now I have everything I could possibly want maybe I could allow myself to believe that I could stay me even if I was smaller. I don't want to ever become ill, I want to be around to enjoy rachel and her children. I want to make the most of life. I kept the weight because it made me feel safe, it made me me, it was a protection. well now I know that I will always be me and those friends who love me for me will still love me when there's less of me. make sense?

    I have had 3 years of counselling on issues about my self image and about who I am and I agree with what Ann said. the time has to be right.

    Only now do I want to do something about it. only now do I see the benefits. only now do I believe I will succeed. only now do I see the future in a different way.

    I know this doesn't answer your questions exactly, but I hope it helps a bit.

    No matter what anyone would have said in the past I wouldn't have been ready. I had to come at it in my own time.
     
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  15. devonbabe

    devonbabe Silver Member

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    thanks to everyone for your replies

    karen. i diddnt get your email

    xxx
     
  16. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    No worries all part of the process.....;)
     
  17. AKB

    AKB Full Member

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    Hi DB,

    Just wanted to share a few of my coping strategies with you and your clients (lucky them to have such a thoughtful CDC).
    I lost almost 12stones over 12 months and my CDC, bless her - (the long suffering Pip - FirefliesUK - love ya!!) cajoled, persuaded, pushed me thru it.

    I now see and acknowledge that I am a food addict, always have been, always will be. Nothing does it for me like food - any and all food - so I have to learn how to cope around it.
    Here are a few of things that got/get me thru each day -

    1. All food that can be frozen is frozen. I then have some thinking time between getting food out and being able to eat it. That hasn't stopped me eating frozen grated cheese on occasion tho:mad:
    2. I prepare my son's packed lunch sandwiches - 2 loaves at a time on a day when I feel strong. I make them, wrap them and freeze them. Pop a frozen pack in his lunch box at eight and it defrosts perfectly by lunchtime.
    3. Practise buying foods that others like and I dislike - in my case never buy Walkers crisps, only Pringles or Doritos (yuk).
    4. Resist buying foods that I know will tempt me - I have never yet managed to have just 2 squares of black chocolate so I now don't buy any unless I am prepared to acknowledge that I will eat it all and I will feel the guilt etc.
    5. Know that the best way to not eat the 2nd Jaffa cake/Digestive/ice cream is NOT TO EAT THE FIRST.
    6. In social situations that involve eating, learn to tell big fat lies! Develop stomach bugs, sore throats or invent big meals you've just eaten or will eat later! Nothing stops nosy parkers better than a graphic description of the trots;)
    7. Teach your kids/partners/pets etc to clear their own plates into the bin and pour washing up liquid over the leftovers if necessary.
    8. Don't watch TV adverts or the Coronation St trailers (b*stards - I want a creme egg!!)
    9. Don't dwell on how little you have lost and how much more there is to go and how many more days/weeks/years of this still to come. Just decide to stick to it now, right now, this minute. Later, tomorrow, next week can all wait, just think about now.
    10. Distract yourself - clean, iron, garden, bathe or just go to bed but do all those things before you give in and break the diet.
    11. Crying, screaming, stamping your feet like a toddler and generally being an all round pain in the *rse is quite normal, it will pass, stick to the diet and you will lose weight.
    12. The weight shown by the scales is a guide only and not a measurement of your success - loser clothes, more energy and feeling better and healthier are the real measures.

    Whoops - got a bit carried away there!
    Hope it helps,
    Love,
    A
    xxxx:D
    PS Just wanted to say that you were a big inspiration to me DB when I started. DHH and the supportive threads etc was my lifeline - I owe you a big thanks:)
     
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  18. Karen

    Karen Serial Foodie!

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    awww u r kidding??

    i wrote about a million paragraphs addressing each question right after i posted that i was gonna email ya! i wanted to give u a call at som point so will just bend ur ear then if thats alright. lol
     
  19. devonbabe

    devonbabe Silver Member

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    yeh phone me anytime, my numbers on the CD website
    xxx speak soon
     
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