Help me i am self sabbotaging!

[Pudgy Panda]

I have been doing SW for 3 years now, i loose it then put it on. Since our LO was born I have been trying to shift the weight, we have had a rough few years and long story short we are now starting IVF in the next few months. But recently we had a close family death, very sudden and traumatic and before that both hubby and i were well focussed and heading nicely to target. Since the death I have gone off the rail, but i know deep down i am so scared to try IVF and in the back of my head i know if i keep eating rubbish i have a good excuse not to start it. I suppose i am soo sooo scared of doing IVF and it not working.

Any advice? as i know i have about nearly 2 stone to loose and know i wanna be healthy for this


Thanks for reading

 

[Maddysmum]

A death is very sad so don't give yourself a hard time about going off the rails.
BUT.... Get back on track tomorrow then you have something to focus on. If you decided IVF is not for you, just think what you still will have gained.
What about planning a weeks menu's while your online then you dont have to risk worrying x

 

[Jael]

I'm so sorry! That's terrible. Most of us here reach for food when upset.

All I can say is you need to find your own motivation inside your head. For example, being a healthy family for your child, teaching them good eating habits and health. Remember, it's possible you'll conceive whilst over weight and that you'll likely gain more whilst pregnant, which will be harder on you, harder to have a good birth and complication free pregnancy etc. But number one, you've been through so much, don't YOU deserve to feel slim and like you've achieved something? Maybe use this tragedy to spur you on, because life's too short and you want to get to that size/health you've always wanted- not just dream about it. Good luck

 

[wenchie]

It sounds like you're self-sabotaging because you're afraid?

Being fat is the BEST excuse in the whole world - someone doesn't like us? It's because we're fat. We're not well? It's because we're fat. IVF is difficult? It's because we're fat.

If we're not fat and those things are still true then we have to look deeper, at other reasons for it and that's difficult. I mean, being fat and having that as a roadblock for us is also difficult, but we've had a bunch of practise dealing with that, so whee! Easier.

You were focussed and doing well before you got a bit bumped off the path by your loss - what was different then? Why was the fear not such a big deal and/or how were you dealing with it?

If it helps, maybe give your head some breathing space - so don't think "OMG once I get to target I have to do IVF immediately *panic*", think, once I get to target I shall then work to maintain and develop a healthier lifestyle (perhaps more exercise to tone up and improve bodyfat % to the perfect numbers) for X number of months - give your head and body time to get used to be slim, until it's normal and then deal with the pressure of starting down the IVF route.

 

[savageunicorn]

Pudgypanda,

I know exactly how you feel. I've had IVF this year (which didn't work this time), and also a sudden death in the family. It is very very difficult, the drugs and emotional toll it takes on you and your body is very hard for anyone who's not been through it to understand. The whole thing can knock you for 6 and eating comfort food is a way which most of us on this site will fully understand.

But and I say this with all the sympathy in the world, you need to be healthy to have the best chance of IVF working and also when you eat better you feel better.

I'm getting myself back on track to loose the stone I put on during my IVF ready for my next attempt (also in a couple of months)

If you have any questions about the process i'll do my best to answer them and hopefully help put your mind a rest.
Starting as healthly as you can be is a great start but there are people in here who understand and can support you when you have a bad day or just need to vent.

wishing you all the best
Cath

 

[Pudgy Panda]

Pudgypanda,

I know exactly how you feel. I've had IVF this year (which didn't work this time), and also a sudden death in the family. It is very very difficult, the drugs and emotional toll it takes on you and your body is very hard for anyone who's not been through it to understand. The whole thing can knock you for 6 and eating comfort food is a way which most of us on this site will fully understand.

But and I say this with all the sympathy in the world, you need to be healthy to have the best chance of IVF working and also when you eat better you feel better.

I'm getting myself back on track to loose the stone I put on during my IVF ready for my next attempt (also in a couple of months)

If you have any questions about the process i'll do my best to answer them and hopefully help put your mind a rest.
Starting as healthly as you can be is a great start but there are people in here who understand and can support you when you have a bad day or just need to vent.

wishing you all the best
Cath

hi thanks for replying i am feeling much more positive and on track in my body and my head for SW and IVF, i dont have loads of time as my egg quality looks like its going down, so i need to get sorted asap. I am not obese but i am overweight so just wanna shift some to make myself feel better.

We may start IVF next month but i know healthy eating for as long as possible e.g 3 months plus is better.

I am sorry to hear it didnt work, good luckfor the next cycle