HELP, SLIPPING BACK INTO OLD OVER-EATING HABITS

L

ladykeltik

Full Member
Im on the 1200 plan currently, and I was doing great, until the last few days. For all the teachers out there, Im currently going thru QTS, which is stressful... but I have some added stress in my life right now.

I went to see the Headmaster today to resign my job, and he wouldnt accept my resignation, instead he psycho-analysed me and basically told me the reasons I was unhappy in my job (he hit the nail on the head, but I dont want to admit it), he is right, Im lonely, I have no life and thats why I hate my job, because Ive turned into a workaholic to compensate for the loneliness.

Anyways.. I digress... I find myself over eating big time now.. but not on chocolate or sweets.. on fruit and ALLBRAN... dried allbran, no milk, just allbran, and right now I cant stop myself.. I NEED HELP!!!

Someone, please, how do I stop this. Im so damn depressed with my life right now, and I want to break this overeating habit now before it gets any more out of control.

Please help me.

Leighann
 
Okay. I should probably say stop the allbran now, but I'm wondering if you could just get some control over it.

Perhaps weighing out an ounce and only allowing yourself it on the hour today? Or half and ounce? It would still add up over the course of a day, but you would have to put it away for a while.

Just a thought
 
Allbran!!! OMG isn't this having dire side effects? You seem to have a pretty good idea of what your problems are which must be halfway towards solving them.

I'm going to take a shot in the dark here, please don't take this as a criticism and I may well be wrong. You're coming to the end of the diet, so you've achieved your weight loss. Before you started the diet maybe eating was a big part of your life, while on the diet then the diet itself took over and became that major preoccupation. Now the diet is nearly over perhaps you have lost that thing to focus on, the thing that stopped you worrying about how disatisfied you are with other aspects of your life. I have read several posts from people whose successful diets lead them to having to face other problem areas in their lives.

Loneliness is a difficult one to conquer, especially if you are tired after work and don't feel like making an effort in the evenings. The majority of my friends I have met through my hobbies (dancing and amateur dramatics), it does take a certain amount of effort to get involved in leisure activities but it is a great way of meeting people. I know it is hard to make yourself do such things when you are feeling depressed.

Or maybe you could find a temporary focus and interest to take your mind off other problems at least until you feel better able to cope with tackling them.

I do hope you find a solution, and there will always be people here to talk to. You've achieved so much to have got this far with your diet, you deserve to be able to be proud of yourself.
 
One of the first "social" evenevts I went to in years was the WeMitt meet in June. I met the first new people for a long, long time, and enjoyed every minute.
If you can make it to Birmingham tomorrow, we are meeting up again (not all the same people) and you would be very welcome.
It's good to meet a new set of people, who we other wise would not come across in our lives - and we all have the weight loss journey in common.
Intelligent, interesting women, each and every one.
Jury's Inn, Broad St. B'ham. 3pm Reception Lounge. If not, do your best to go to another of the "meets" - I'm going to the south coast one at the end of January.
Ann x
 
Hi Leighann,

I know when I got down to 11st 6lbs. I was looking well, moving down to 11 stone and the next thing I felt I could not handle it...so I sabotaged my own wonderful achievements.

As in a weird way I was not ready to be slim and part with my fat suit as I felt very exposed...

My head had not caught up with my body.

You might be experiencing a bit of this has on one hand you are probably thrilled with being shortlisted and on the other feeling a bit scared...

This on top of the other stress in your life with school might of tipped the balance.

I think the head was right in not accepting your resignation as you could do with more time to think this through as losing weight and getting to goal is full of emotions of all sort.

Step back from the bran and take a deep breath and look at all you have achieved in the last year. You and you alone have worked hard to get here, this is your moment to shine, reach out and claim it for yourself, because you are worth it.

Ann's suggestion of getting away for the meet up is a good one:)

Hugs.

Mini xxx
 
I think Mini and Ann have said it all, but also if you are feeling lonely then I think its one of the worst feelings in the world. Going to the wemitt meet would be great, and trust me if I wasnt working and lived nearer I would be there.

Your head must appreciate you too, and bask in that appreciation, but switch off from work, when I suffered from stress and depression 2 years ago my doc advised me to excersise, it releases good things in your brain and makes you feel happier, I was thinking about getting my dance mat out and having a good old boogie. A bit of Wham! never goes a miss at top volume sometimes too.

Do something silly, or you could get yourself to your local craft shop and make jewellery (my fav!) or cards, but most of all, if you work at it now, being happy will become second nature to you most of the time x
 
Hi Leighann
:)
As a high school teacher I totally understand the stresses of gaining QTS. I did the GTP, so was employed as a graduate teacher..basically there was no let up!! I think once you get QTS out of the way you willl have achieved a major goal and will feel refreshed! The work load should balance itself out then and you will relax into your role. TBH I dont think your head CAN reject your resignation, he/she can advise you but not point refuse it. TBH prob best to stay where you are whilst feeling so unsure...to start up in a new school could be pretty stressful.:confused:

I know what you mean about the diet giving you focus and for me its about having an element of control. Saying that I lost that a bit tonight as I found the spoon in the Skinny Cow mint icecream and into my mouth!! I'm not sure how bad it is to be eating alot of fibre and fruit...surely it cant be any worse than fruit&nut!! Maybe restrict yourself (OMG HOW easy it is to type those words):eek:

OK...dont get me going on lonliness. Ok Im married have a fab son although I do find myself experiencing lonliness as my hub is a chef and works late most nights and when my sons in bed that when i start to feel lonely and the foody demons come out to taunt me!! Maybe you could join a gym, get involved with people outside of school...maybe some single gorgeous hunky teacher...???Maybe not but suggest going to a pub quiz eith others or a night out..get out, dont let the job take over...been there and no one could tell me to take a step back I had to work that out for myself...after taking on lead teacher, head of year and head of house jobs...in quick succession! madness! Now looking back i dont know how i had time to eat so much!!!!:eek:

I realise ive blethered on about not a lot but what Im trying to say is dont worry about eating fruit and fibre....dont overwork..sometimes flying by the seat of your pants and doing the minimum gets the same results as labouring for hours...analysing everything too much boggles the mind even further.....:rolleyes:

You have come so far, dont let lonliness make you turn to food again...it isnt your friend! Come on here, talk to all the fabby peeps on here...distractions are key! You could try what Karen is doing....dating sites...its very entertaining for the rest of us 'stuck in our ways' types too!:p

Keep in touch and never never forget how far you have come!:D
 
Hi

Thanks all for the advice. I put the Allbran in a cupboard downstairs, where its outta sight outta mind.

I would go to the meet in Birmingham tomorrow, but I am shopping for an 'outfit' to wear to the conference next weekend. I guess I am at a point now, where after losing all the weight, and wanting to socialise (but in a mature way, not going out clubbing, getting slaughtered and then feeling like crap the next day.. I want more going to the theatre, restaurants, etc., kinda socialising), that I dont have anyone to do these things with. I literally have no friends, and Im not just saying that, and IM not saying it for sympathy. If you really want to know my life.. work, come home, do more work, go to bed, weekend = shopping, work, sit at home and watch tv, go to bed, get up, go to work for the week, work at home grading, etc., that is my life. No social life. Last time I went out for a drink or any kind of social event was 2 years ago when I lived in the USA. (Ive lived here for just over a year now). Most people at work are either younger than me and want the club scene, or those who are my age (34) are with partners or married with kids, so they dont socialise much. Get the drift?

This is something that has been building for a long time now, and I guess because I am ready to be sociable, Im finding it hard to start. I searched today on the net for social clubs in my area, most of them are either sporting clubs (like cricket) or singles clubs (which Im really not interested in... no offense to essex boys). I have sat here for the last 3 hours crying, because I feel so alone, I look like ****, feel like ****, and just want to eat myself into oblivion (which I will NOT do).

The Allbran is now having bad effects, but at least I ate something that was moderately healthy and not chocolate and ice cream and all those things I wanted to eat... its the only positive thing I can find right now.

My headmaster basically wants me to look in the mirror and write down all the things I like about myself and take it to him next week... my list is this long - - and thats it.. he told me to put that I was a bloody good teacher on the list.. its the only damn thing on the list.

God I feel like a friggin mental case, and Im sorry to be dumping this on anyone who reads this.. but Im at a point right now that I dont like, and it scares me. I guess because I turned 34 last sunday, and when I asked around at work why no one had asked me what I would like to do, and got the reply of, well we thought you would say what you wanted to do.. and then not even a happy b'day.. and then yesterday when I literally begged for someone to help me go shopping to pick out an outfit for next weekend, and all I got was the sounds of crickets chirpping, its all just become too much.

Im so sorry, I shoudlnt be dumping this on you guys.. must go to the loo.. damn that allbran.

Oh dating.. what on earth is that.. last relationship was 4 years ago..

loo calling

thanks for all the support.

Leighann
 
Leighann, you are doing absolutely the right thing, expressing your feelings on here. It's the only place I feel "safe" to share personal stuff. I don't have a social life either, for different reasons. After a bereavement in 2003, I cut myself off from everyone. I stopped working and actively discouraged phone calls, visits and invitations out. After a while, people stop calling, and that suited me. My comfort zone was my home, and as my weight increased, even moving around in the house became difficult.
Since starting VLCD last January, I have met some wonderful people, and it is nice to meet people who did not know me "before" all my trauma. From Lighter Life, Cambridge, the gym and the WeMitts, I have met some lovely interesting people. It's like life is beginning all over again. It's not exactly a social life yet, but who knows. My long-suffering husband has become used to me not wanting to go anywhere in the evenings, perhaps that is changing, I hope so.
I would have loved to come shopping with you tomorrow - I could have bought an outfit as well for next Saturday! Look forward to seeing you then.
Ann xxx
 
cant really add much to the above posts but just to say you have done so well and come so far.
dont beat yourself up, you are aware of what you are doing and taking steps to sort it out, well done to you and keep at it.
 
Leighann, you are in a difficult situation, it is hard to start a new social life if you don't want the "pub and club" scene. If you are interested in theatre there are usually "Friends" groups attached to local theatres who often organise group events, and amateur dramatics associations welcome people who want to help out (there's lots to do backstage and front of house if you don't fancy the acting side). Volunteering for stewarding at a small theatre gives you the opportunity to see the shows and get to know the other stewards.
The amdram website is a good place to look for local societies, there are a couple in your area. Try a search on Amdram, The Amateur Theatre Network.

It is hard to find friends to go out with when the rest of the world seems to with their partners. People who don't have kids, or have got theirs off their hands early, are often up for evenings out without partners, they tend to have developed their own interests and do stuff separately as well as together. It's a pity you live so far away, I love going to the theatre!
 
Leighann - I'm glad you were able to come on here and off load the negative. That is what is soooo great about this site.

Now the positives - well your headmaster obviously thinks you are worth fighting for and I think his way of handling it is fantastic. What do you teach??? and how old are the children??? Could you do night school??? This would get you out to mix with other adults - and make you feel valued, as people are choosing to come and be taught by you. Otherwise, or as well as, there are plenty of night school courses to go on - again where you'd be with adults. This way you gradually acquire friends and a social life. Otherwise are you interested in any particular charity??? They always welcome help in shops/conservation etc etc etc

Not sure if that's any help .... but hope it is. I hope your positive list goes well ..... and you soon start to feel a little better. ((hugs))
 
Well today I went shopping... I had to by a padded bra WTF.. I have no boobs anymore... they are just saggy sacks.. and I need a padded bra... I use to have knockers that men would just oggle... now its all padding.. still in shock with that one.

Anyways... no food demons today.. still feel down (for want of a better word)... but when I told the sales girl why I wanted the dress, I had 4 of them helping me pick accessories and arguing over which ones looked the best.. made me feel a little special.

I do pity anyone that was walking behind me after all that allbran tho!

Anyways, just thought I would say thank you to everyone for your unquavering support. I am taking my camera to Birmingham, I would like to get a picture of all of us, if that is ok with ya'll, it can be posted here then :)

Leighann
 
Leighann...walk with confidence..allbran or no allbran! LOL!:D

Glad you're feeling in brighter spirits...nothing a bit of retail therapy cant sort eh? Keep hold toght of those positive and special feelings you had today cos thats what you deserve....i too got a slightly padded bra a few months ago when my boobs had shrunk rapidly..i too thought WTF..not something i thought id ever buy but felt great! Gives a good shape too dont you think...

Hugs and onwards and downwards...

:eek:
 
The bra does give a good shape.. I now have round, tear-drop shaped chest, Im quite liking it.. I walked around poking the chest out even further :D No more saggy baggies :D :D
 
Leighann, Can I give you a link to a social group that has meetings all over the UK. There are pub evenings, theatre outings etc. It is something I will do in the spring. I guess those of us who have been free of family ties, but have been concerned about our weight to socialise need something like this when we have lost weight. We all need friends.
Never mind that the offices on there are not near you. They are just the regional administrative offices. There are bound to be social occasions happening near you. Good luck, and keep strong,
Pam xx

www.nexus-uk.co.uk/
 
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Thank you so much Pam, I have been searching the internet all weekend looking for groups, and all I can find is ones in London. I will definately check that site out.

Leighann
 
Pam

Are you a member? I have emailled them to find out if there are actually any members near me, I dont want to spend that money and then be in the situation that there are no groups near me. Fingers crossed that there are!!!

Leighann
 
Well I contacted Nexus, and unfortunately, the closest member is about an hour away from me, so I dont know if its worth me spending the £120 to join or not.. still debating.

Does anyone know of any other social networking groups in Essex???????

Oh... and I worked out today.. I actually jogged for 9 minutes on the treadmill (I havent jogged since I was a teenager), I know its only 9 minutes, but that is a personal milestone for me :D

Leighann
 
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