K diddlys' diary

kdiddly

We've all got this! C'monnnn!!!
Morning all,

So, I think this is the first time that I have created a diary but definitely NOT the first time on any kind of diet- I think I can safely say that I have tried them all! I've had the advice from a current member to keep a diary and she's right, It will keep me on track! I've been on this forum for a few years. Initially, when I joined, i wanted to lose weight to help me with my fertility issues. I'd tried LT a few years ago and lost 3st- quickly and then, even more quickly, put that back on! tried to get back on the wagon multiple times but willpower, I did not have!
Anyway, as I said, I wanted to lose weight to help me increase my chances of conceiving- I have a (now) 23 year old daughter who I had at 19, I'm now 43 (just turned) and I was unable to conceive until the year of 2019, when I then had my daughter (a miscarriage in between and another last year :-( ) during the time before having my 2nd daughter, I lost 4st- i think at my heaviest, i was 15.13 and for a 5ft2'er, that did not look good on me! the lowest I got to was 11.7 and was fitting into a size 10 :) I don't remember the last time i had been a 10! It wasn't the fact that I was a 10, more of the confidence I had and how I felt as a person. I was at the height of my physical fitness (i was boxing/kickboxing 5 times a week) and I felt the best I can remember feeling. I suffer from depression ( can't believe i'm telling this to strangers!) and training and feeling great about myself, really helped my mood.
Fast forward to now, I'm currently (as of today and on day 4 on TS Exante) 12.6- I have lost 3lb so far. I'm still not in Ketosis (thought my POAS days were over!) I am still cold and have a bad headache but I know that from previous attempts on Exante that this is to be expected. I'm sat here thinking about what my focus actually is to do this diet and if I'm honest, I'm not sure- I'm taking it day by day. If my trainer knew I was doing this, he would go mad! he is not so keen on these "fad diets" However, I have never been one to do as I'm told! and I know in myself that I'm an all or nothing girl- i need to see the scales move! I kind of like the restrictiveness of this- I'm not safe to be let loose with calories (again, been there!) I have no doubt that I may have slip ups on the way as I have many times or maybe this time, I won't? maybe as I don't necessarily have a focus, it might work this time. I also think that I'm in the right mindset today- as I say, taking this day by day- I know I'm going to struggle more at the weekends- i'm thinking about what do i want? Treats or do I want to be ME more?! The first weekend will be the test!
Thinking about it now, maybe I do have goals- are these the same as focus? I dunno! - i'm going to be a bridesmaid in Nov- all the other bridesmaids are hotties and slim- I don't wanna be the biggest one and I guess, another goal maybe will get back down to 11.7, just to hopefully, feel that confidence again.

Anyway, I have droned on enough, if you've got this far reading my epilogue, I thank you! It would be great to hear from others to support each other- the forum seems to be much quieter these days :-(

K xx
 
Morning all,

So, I think this is the first time that I have created a diary but definitely NOT the first time on any kind of diet- I think I can safely say that I have tried them all! I've had the advice from a current member to keep a diary and she's right, It will keep me on track! I've been on this forum for a few years. Initially, when I joined, i wanted to lose weight to help me with my fertility issues. I'd tried LT a few years ago and lost 3st- quickly and then, even more quickly, put that back on! tried to get back on the wagon multiple times but willpower, I did not have!
Anyway, as I said, I wanted to lose weight to help me increase my chances of conceiving- I have a (now) 23 year old daughter who I had at 19, I'm now 43 (just turned) and I was unable to conceive until the year of 2019, when I then had my daughter (a miscarriage in between and another last year :-( ) during the time before having my 2nd daughter, I lost 4st- i think at my heaviest, i was 15.13 and for a 5ft2'er, that did not look good on me! the lowest I got to was 11.7 and was fitting into a size 10 :) I don't remember the last time i had been a 10! It wasn't the fact that I was a 10, more of the confidence I had and how I felt as a person. I was at the height of my physical fitness (i was boxing/kickboxing 5 times a week) and I felt the best I can remember feeling. I suffer from depression ( can't believe i'm telling this to strangers!) and training and feeling great about myself, really helped my mood.
Fast forward to now, I'm currently (as of today and on day 4 on TS Exante) 12.6- I have lost 3lb so far. I'm still not in Ketosis (thought my POAS days were over!) I am still cold and have a bad headache but I know that from previous attempts on Exante that this is to be expected. I'm sat here thinking about what my focus actually is to do this diet and if I'm honest, I'm not sure- I'm taking it day by day. If my trainer knew I was doing this, he would go mad! he is not so keen on these "fad diets" However, I have never been one to do as I'm told! and I know in myself that I'm an all or nothing girl- i need to see the scales move! I kind of like the restrictiveness of this- I'm not safe to be let loose with calories (again, been there!) I have no doubt that I may have slip ups on the way as I have many times or maybe this time, I won't? maybe as I don't necessarily have a focus, it might work this time. I also think that I'm in the right mindset today- as I say, taking this day by day- I know I'm going to struggle more at the weekends- i'm thinking about what do i want? Treats or do I want to be ME more?! The first weekend will be the test!
Thinking about it now, maybe I do have goals- are these the same as focus? I dunno! - i'm going to be a bridesmaid in Nov- all the other bridesmaids are hotties and slim- I don't wanna be the biggest one and I guess, another goal maybe will get back down to 11.7, just to hopefully, feel that confidence again.

Anyway, I have droned on enough, if you've got this far reading my epilogue, I thank you! It would be great to hear from others to support each other- the forum seems to be much quieter these days :-(

K xx
Hi
ive returned to this forum after some years away.
im at slimming world.
it Was good to read your post.
I can identify with a lot of it.
especially seeing the scales move.

it is a lot quieter on here than it used to be.
But still good to be on here and read about others journeys
 
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