HELP

[Agent Shagwell]

Dear everyone,

I know this is a weird place to post this, but I need HELP PLEASE. My fiance just broke up with me. TBH it was a really messy relationship. Thing was, I was losing weight to be more beautiful to him...weird I know. But now I know I want to lose it for me.

I don't want to binge binge binge but I am scared I will. I know a few pounds is the least of my worries now (OMG my worries could fill an entire PLANET!) but my weight feels like the only thing I have control of now.

Please help me stay on track and focused. FOR ME.

 

[lindseydodd408]

So sorry to hear this, firstly sending a big big BIG hug!!!

I imagine you are still in shock, so it is good that you are being self aware enough to recognise that a binge could be on the horizon.

What I will say is if your control over food gives you comfort then that is good... but please please please do not think that if you do binge then you have lost all control! Do not beat yourself up about it! Do not let food make you feel worse! It's just food and any damage can be rectified by good choices in the future.

My advice would be to turn to a good friend or your family. Let them look after you for a while, let them show you that there are people in your life who care and have the ability to stick around. Part of this caring process can involve feeding, I know my mother feeds me when I need looking after. If you want to be strong then be clear about what they should feed you, if you're past caring then get back on track once you're further through the healing process... just make sure you come back to us!!!

Right... another big big BIG hug!!! x

 

[Agent Shagwell]

Thank you so much for the hug and advice. I am very in shock, it only happened a few hours ago.

 

[lindseydodd408]

In that case cut yourself some slack... don't be hard on yourself, someones already done that to you today!!!

Another big Big BIG hug!!! x

 

[Shazzabir]

I really feel for you. Incase You have not had enough hugs, here's one from me too "hug" x

 

[bajoleth]

You have had some Fab advice from Lindsey and she makes a lot of sense, be kind to yourself you have a major shock and there will be a lot of upheaval and changes to come. Stay focused on you and what is important to you and you will be fine, us women are made of tough stuff you know A big Hug on its way from me too

 

[xsarahx]

Big hug from me too!

Sometimes it takes a big event to kickstart a motivation for weight loss so lets use it as a motivation tool!

There's always someone around here if you want to chat! x

 

[Fattack]

I'm really sorry about what happened to you. It must be so upsetting, but like you say, it was a messy relationship and you were losing weight for him - you don't need to lose weight FOR ANYBODY but YOU, YOURSELF and YOUR HEALTH! Take this as an opportunity to work on yourself, to become mentally and physically stronger, and throw yourself into your new lifestyle and the confidence will follow The world sometimes works in mysterious ways, and eventually you will meet somebody that you do not feel you have to "better yourself" for.

A big hug to you - breakups can be absolutely debilitating - be strong!

 

[Agent Shagwell]

Hi again all.
Just wanted to say thanks for the love, kindness, friendship, advice and support. After all that, we had a 'big talk' about what was wrong, and are going to make it better rather than breaking up (YESSS). I'm still doing this for ME though (losing the weight). Anyway it's been a full on weekend. See you around the forums...
~Super.

 

[Caz]

Glad to hear that you've worked it out! I'm sure it was a really hard weekend for you but maybe some good has come out of it because you've seen that you have to do this for you, which you are and you've been through something really difficult and your initial reaction wasn't eat, eat, eat it was to come on here, get support and say you don't want to do that. So I take my hat off to you!

 

[lindseydodd408]

Great news! Sometimes a big shock is what both parties need to invest fully in each other, also a good opportunity to put cards on table and be honest about where you really want to go... pleased you've decided to go there together!!! xxx