How did we get here?


Silver Member
Hey Everyone,

I've been doing a bit of soul searching trying to find out how i ended up being overweight- I never was growing up (never been skinny) but was what you would regard as slim - so how did I end up being 19stone 4lbs aged 24 - I'm about halfway through my weight loss and I'm trying to figure out what went wrong before. Thought by sharing this information would make an interesting post, but would also make us think about ourselves so we can change in the future.

The main thing for me was having a baby I piled on weight during pregnancy but also after. I think I started putting on weight after I got married - I settled down and was happy and didnt think about my weight so in the food went. I am a big comfort eater as well - when I was stressed, upset, angry I would eat.

My baby nephew died which I found very difficult to deal with and I put alot of weight on then. Seeing the tiny white coffin as that little boy was taken away broke my heart.

I think I related food to having a good time (not consciously) - a good night out would have food involved somewhere. A trip to the seaside as a child would involve food- we couldnt wait for the chips on the sea front when we got to the beach - and I think as I got older this relationship got a bit out of hand. When I was feeling down I would go to the chippy, perhaps subconsciously I related these kind of foods to feeling good and thats why I would go.
Its unbelievable that every celebration/occasion we have in this country food and drink are involved, in a massive way. Look at christmas day - we have turned obsessed with the food that will be put on the table - and we are no longer just sticking to traditions - every advert you see at the moment seems to be adding things in that I dont think are part of xmas at all (all the party packs). It was only when I started this diet that I realised how many adverts on the tv involved food!!

I understand that food forms memories it certainly has for me - but for some reason I think it turned it some kind of dependency. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I have this thought that if I'm annoyed I'll have a treat - but why having a treat doesnt solve a problem.
I'm glad that I have really sat down and thought about my relationship with food. Christmas dinner doesnt make christmas a good time its about spending time with your family and enjoying each other. The smiles on my daughters face when she comes running in our bedroom so excited that father christmas has come. Valentines day is about me and my husband having some time just us to talk, I dont enjoy it just because of a meal I enjoy his time and I would enjoy it just as much if we went for a walk and talked.

Sorry for such a long post - I just feel as though I have detected my problem and broken the bad relationships I have had with food. I would really like to hear your stories too x x
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Going for Goal!
G: 13st0lb
Good question hun!

I have always been big, even as a child. I had a lot of problems going on around me when I was smaller (Father's death, mother's mental illness etc) I lived with my Grandad as a child (my mum still lives with him) I vaguely remember getting up early in the morning and raiding the fridge of chocolate biscuits, yoghurts, sandwich paste (disgusting!) I have no idea looking back why I did it, but regrettably I was a fatty kid.

Consequently as I got older, I was bullied at school. Oh I gave it back, believe me. Resulting in not having many firm friendships either. Even now I swear that if I was slim my school life would have been a completely different experience. Because of the bullying I didn't sleep too well, usually waking in the middle of the night, so what did I do? Go downstairs and eat.

I used to get into trouble because of this (obviously!) so instead I took another approach - esp when I started senior school. I would buy crisps, choc and sweets on the way to school, which were demolished by the time I arrived. Obviously on top of this I would eat meals that were given to me.

I always knew I was big and different from my friends. I will never forget a horrid comment made to me by a girl who said: "her legs at the bottom are the same size as mine at the top" - for some reason that comment STUCK. Funny because that was nothing really compared to the name calling I endured on a daily basis. Anyway on a family holiday to Cornwall (Grandad driving) I sat in the back of the car next to my cousins and spend most of the journey comparing my legs to theirs.

I believe it was at that point that I became very depressed, I was taking anti d's at 14 years old. They suppressed my appetite if anything and I did loose a little weight. Especially as I had my eye on my 'now' husband and wanted to impress! lol

But then I became comfortable - moved out of home and had my own food to buy and cook etc. If I had my time over again I would have changed my lifestyle there and then, but instead I over indulged in everything I liked (because I could).

What did it for me? My wedding pics. I had spent YEARS avoiding the camera at all costs because I wouldn't face the truth. When my pics came back I was very upset, looking more like fiona from fooking shrek than the princess I felt on my big day. A real bang back to reality.

So here I am doing something for myself, my health, my happiness and my future.


Gold Member
G: 10st7lb
O wow some really deep stories so far xxx

Mines wimpy lol i gave up fags nearly 5 years ago and inhaled cakes & choc instead of cigs... simples.

Couldnt even blame pregnancy as didnt gain hardly any weight! plus that was 10 & 7 years ago lolol

Yup . . no mental reasons just ciggs

*i'd still rob a hens tooth for a fag some days*


Silver Member
S: 160kg C: 116kg G: 96kg BMI: 37.8 Loss: 44kg(27.5%)
My parents always wanted me to lose weight as a teenager and I used to eat to spite them when i was annoyed with them. That only lasted a couple of years though.
I think in general food in society is seen as a reward so by feeding ourselves we are rewarding ourselves. I am using my CD journey as a way to reeducate myself with rewards. each milestone I reward myself but with non-food related treats. I buy myself something nice or have a little trip and try to focus on the good feeling I get all week when i know I ahve stuck to plan and the scales have gone down rather than the fleeting pleasure of eating something.


running strictly on fat!
S: 13st4.1lb C: 11st8lb G: 10st7.7lb BMI: 27.7 Loss: 1st10.1lb(12.95%)
Mine is a bit twisted as it's all about self-confidence.
I was a big chubby kid as my mum saw it as a "healthy kid" - didn't have much say then. Then I went to school, high school and my university times - I FELT big and never really attractive. As in reality I was on a verge of being anorexic!!! In the pictures I look like one of the slimmest girl in a class... Couldn't see it then...
Then, once working I was fluctuating between healthy and overweight and it was always in some ways related to relationships. I was slim while single (empty fridge and late nights!) but put weight on as soon as comfortable in relationship (regular cooking, cosy nights in) But it was always within limits.
But my last relationship - there was a lil bit of happiness in it but mostly it was a constant battle with his alcoholism, controling and jealousy. Cut off my friends from my life as I was only to ashamed of what I was putting up with. I knew it was wrong and self-destructive but for these little moments of happiness I continued... Not long into relationship it was only me, him and FOOD.
Yeah, he was a big foodie (surprisingly it didn't really affect his weight that much) In one year I put over 3 stones and no longer could fit in any of my clothes. He was happy as I think he saw it as yet another way of controlling me. I was unhappy so stayed in and ate food and more food.
Wake up call came when I went to visit my family for the family wedding and since they haven't seen my for over a year EVERYONE was shocked. As nice as they could they all hinted that maybe I "should start watch what I eat" I didn't have to be told - pictures from THAT wedding make me still cringe inside.
Made my mind up - joined WW and started exercising. He didn't like it of course and went off the rail. Last few months he put me through hell and back. I can't believe how difficult was this year. But made my mind up and finished with him completely (no, it's not only a weight issue) It's still very raw and feel wrong before Xmas but I am ready to make a fresh start and am really looking forward to New Year.
I know it will take me another five months to undo all the wrongdoings to my body but I can see the difference already and I only pray for strenght to be able to stick to my resolution and don't ever take him back.


please try again
S: 23st6lb C: 17st7lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 44.8 Loss: 5st13lb(25.3%)
i was underweight as a child up until puberty hit, i was still just as active and still ate the same stuff but began to gain weight ( turns out i had pcos kicking in and metabolic issues ) anyway as a child really oir meals at home were terrible nutrition wise as my mum would go for stuff with chips or spag bol ( she aint a good cook ) but we were made to finish what was on our plates, my baby sis could spend all day at the table as she wasnt allowed to get down until the whole lot was eaten and thats really stuck with us, we end up eating it even when were beyond full ( our primary school were also of the opinion that you had to eat everything on the plate )

when i was 18 i went thru something unplesant that i thought wouldnt happen again if i was un attractive so i gained some more weight

my weight stayed at that point for the next 5 years due to me eating what i wanted and then i got pregnant with kaya. my ex husband became violent at this point and my baby girl was born at 25 weeks, she had brain hemmorages, bowel infections and heart and lung issues. she was in hospital for nearly a year and i was constantly told to say goodbye as shes dying, they even placed a DNR order on her. they put her in a single room by the nurses station and i was in there with her doing most of the nursing and physio and to be honest was bored and stressed, eating out of vending machines and people would bring me boxes and boxes of food and it was always cakes, crisps, chocolate and coke, i gained 6 stone that year

i joined cambridge after seeing pics of me on holiday with kaya, i looked like a mountain sat with her on my knee and it was getting harder for me to lift and carry her and she will need physical handeing for a while

when i moved back to mainland uk in 2008 my packs went missing and i had a couple bad experiences with councellors so i joined sw, followed it to the letter and gained 6lb so i gave in and went back to old eating habits

i went thru another bad experience and thought well my origional theory of being unattractive would stop it happening was obviously flawed so i looked around for another cdc and back on to cd i went, 4 stone down now and this is it, im sticking it to goal this time


Creating my life
S: 21st9lb C: 14st7lb G: 12st7lb Loss: 7st2lb(33%)
My story is a combination of factors. I was taught by my mother to eat when I was upset, rather than express it. I was very upset as a child so ate a lot.

My parents gave me bizarre messages. The one I remember best being 'sport is for thick people.' VERY odd.

So I was always overate but my main weight pile on that sent me over the 20 stone barrier was a combination of my Dad dying very slowly and my thyroid giving up. So everything I overate piled on much faster than it had before.

I do think it is very important to understand why you put on weight and also what having the weight on has done for you in a positive way. If being fat was utterly revolting you wouldn't stay that way - there must be something in it for you. Recognise that and it wont smack you in the face later on.

For example for me being fat was all about safety. I felt safer fatter. As I've lost weight I've had to deal with feeling like I am less safe. Because I was expecting it - it wasn't as hard as it might have been. Just an added thing to think about...this losing weight business is not just about eating less you know!


Girl on a mission
G: 11st7lb
The reason why I am here is because right up till 2007 I worked with horses, very active job so ate what i wanted and never put weight on or if i did weight watchers or slimfast was enough to get my weight back down, then had an accident and busted my leg, got an office job and all i do is sit at a desk, continued to eat and drink as I used to and the weight came on pretty fast, plus i got quite depressed with not working with horses, so ate have but on loads :eek:..2010 will be my last weight loss journey and glad i'm doing it the cd way as sure i need to sort out what i eat, even when in an active job:D


Silver Member
Hey everyone,

Thank you for all your posts they make really interesting reading. I'm happy as well that we can all be so honest which isnt really easy to do but is why I love this forum as sometimes speaking to complete strangers is really helpful especially when we are all in the same boat.

Good luck everyone x x x x