how old to have a baby?

[gonabslim79]

Hi there,

I am approaching 30, and am surrounded by friends and little sisters who have had children.

I am constantly being asked 'so when are you having your baby' or ' your getting on now shouldnt you think about it'

It really upsets me cos, yes i am sooo broody you wouldnt beleive but why should i have a baby just cos everyone else is.

We are planning on trying in a couple of months, but i dont wont to tell anyone that. just because of the pressure and in case it takes us a little while.

I just wondered how old people are and how many they have had. being 30 surely i can fit at least 2 babies in surely before my clock stops... OH is 40 next year.

 

[little*red]

I wouldn't worry about it too much, 30 isn't 'old' to be having children. i know it may seem like that if everyone around you is having babies left right and center, but the average age for a woman in britian to have her first baby is 27.
I understand how apprehensive you must be about having kids and being 'older', I'm 23 and have 2 (first at 20 and second at 21) and i wish i had waited til i was your age to have them and get to live a bit more first.
my husband is 36 this year and if we ever have anymore it wont be for about another 5 years which makes him over 40. We have 2 girls so it would be lovely to have a little boy, and I know my husband worries that he will be too old to have a son as he wouldn't get the benefits of being a younger dad to him.
Please don't worry about it (i know easier said than done) but trying for a baby is stressful enough and you don't want to be putting unessesary pressure on yourself.
Sorry for rambling on, and good luck with your baby making when the time comes. xx

 

[bekki]

hun dont worry my auntie was 32 when she had her first and she now has 3 lovely kids, have one when you want one, not when others say you should. be happy xxxx

 

[Baloo]

Hi dont worry about it. My OH was 48yrs old and I was 36yrs old when we got married and we've had 3 since then all healthy and in their teens now - I had our son when I was 42yrs old and that was fine - I've never regretted any of it.
You'll know when you both want a child - dont listen to anyone else -they're so thoughtless at times.

 

[Purple Hugs]

I'm 37 and my hubby is 44 we're expecting our 3rd, we adopted our second child though, so technically my 2nd baby. Nature wasn't on our side to have one earlier than this though.

Whatever your age, or situation people will stick their nose in! The amount of people who 'demanded' to know when I was having my 2nd was unreal.. my eldest was around a year at the time! lol

 

[angie-bum]

I'm 37 and having my first...my mum had my sister at 38 and me at 43...i.e you have plenty of time. However not everyone falls immediately, but some do. I fell the first time I tried though friends told me it could take a year or more.

 

[mummy2beslim]

I was 35 when I had my first and my friends were about the same age .I got pregnant agian at 37 but saldly lost and now pg again and im 39 this month

 

[gonabslim79]

Thanks guys,

I just feel like my family give me so much pressure to have a baby. ive always said that i had to find the right dad first.

during that time i have found a good job, earning a good salary, been on holidays, bought a nice car, gone out with my friends,done everything i want to do and not had to worry about anything.

And now i have found the bloke i want to spend my life with and i know he is a great dad. so now is my time. i dont know why people have to 'push' questions on people as to why they chose to leave it later in life to have babies.

i dont ever want to think that i havent lived my life. i know i have and am now ready to raise another life.

It prob doesnt help that my younger sisters have had one and all their friends have.

but only 2 of my friends of my group of 6 close friends have had children and one of those was only this year. so i am not sure what i am trying to say here. but i guess all of us as a group have all waited.

Thanks for your replies, its nice to know that my family are not always right!

 

[Purple Hugs]

I think honestly that people put pressure on people for the wrong reasons.
My sister is 40 and has never had a child or a relationship that has lasted more than a few years. She is not maternal at all, can sit in a room of babies and say how cute they are but never want one herself.
I have an aunt who is the same, but then I am like my other aunt who was desperate for children and adopted two children. She couldn't understand why we started fostering until I pointed out that I was like her, that I love children, wanted the house to be full of them, but we had only had Erin naturally our eldest. 8 years we've been trying to conceive, and carry, one miscarriage and a BEAUTIFUL little girl we have adopted, and here we are. I told my aunt last week that I'm expecting and I could hear the tears in her voice, and the happiness - she was almost speechless all she could say was my name in awe! She knows now and totally understands. We are going up to visit her (she lives in the Highlands, we live in Wales) in August and it'll be lovely to share some of my pregnancy with her.

I've completely rambled, but the facts are that NO-ONE has the right to put pressure on you to have children, or not to have them.

Whatever you decide is for you is what is for you.

 

[Mich]

I have three children... the first at 30, second by fertility treatment at 35 and the 3rd a big surprise at 37.... good healthy pregnancies and everything went well.... you should have a baby when the time is right for you and your partner not because others feel you should be.... enjoy trying in the meantime..lol

 

[Shopaholic]

My daughter is just turning 1 this month and I'm 36. My younger sister has 2 girls and I can remember the pressure my family put on us, asking at every social occasion when we were going to start a family. What they didn't know was we had been trying for years and nothing had happened, and it was very painful for me to sit in a room full of babies and children. Luckily for us we decided to stop "trying" and just enjoy ourselves for a while and I fell pregnant.

I think sometimes families don't realise the pressure they are adding to a situation. They just want you to be happy - like them. Just ignore them and do things in your own sweet time

 

[MrsDannyDyer]

Hiya hey you have many years yet. I was 17 when i had my 1st. 29 when i had my 2nd and i will be 33 when i have my 3rd. Yet i always said if i didnt have anymore b4 i was 30 that would be me, then my wee girl sneeked in b4 i was 30 lol and lo and behold im doing it again. But i was thinking my wee girl will be starting skool next year so should have had a bit of a life again. But now ill have another 5 years after that so will be almost 40 lol But hey just have to get on with it.

Good luck when u start trying xx

 

[gonabslim79]

Fanx Hun, i am feeling alot more better about it yet.

kinda getting excited, knowing that i can finally stop taking my pill!!

But very scared too!!! lol.