How would you handle this?

[Goreygirl]

My older brother lives in Sweden and i'm going up to see him on 9th December (so another month of CD). He last saw me in June and his face when he saw how much weight I had on was one of the things that shocked me into finally taking steps to do something about it.

Anyway we were just on email and I said i'd booked my flights and that I was doing CD and would be bringing my shakes with me (he knows what CD is ... him and a few mates kind of did it for a few weeks years ago to lose some beer belly) and he said "bollocks to that". I'm sure he's only joking but I'm just worried that him and his wife won't really understand my need to stick to the plan while i'm there; historically we've always ordered pizza on one evening and she always cooks really creamy pasta dishes etc for dinner.

Any thoughts/advice?

 

[AlexIce]

Send him a mail and set out your reasons for losing weight and how important it is to you. Tell him you would really appreciate his support and that it would mean a lot to you.
People don't understand how easy it is to say you will have a break from the diet as you have company etc. and then not be able to mentally get back on the diet afterwards.
I am sure that if you set it out in back and white and he understands how important it is to you, that he will try to help.
Good luck

 

[Kes]

stick to your guns, and yes email him again, and say how important it is for you... maybe have 1 planned meal out or something so that you can then chose what you want rather it being made for you...

 

[LV30]

LOL Typical older brother response!! (He's only saying that because he loves ya!!)

I'm sure when he sees how well you are doing and how determined you are to stick to CD he'll be absolutely fine.

I think it's right to let him know how good you are feeling and that you want to stick to this regime for as long as possible, so please can he refrain in not forcing food onto you!! I would approach it in a lighthearted way - you don't want a cloud hanging over your visit - it shouldn't get in the way of a lovely trip!!

Lynne
x

 

[Goreygirl]

cheers guys... the email sounds like a good plan but i'll include his OH and try to keep it "light" (he doesn't handle "feelings" well and struggles as it is to cope with the fact that I have depression this year). Eating out won't be an option though as they have 3 kids

I'm determined to stick to my guns as NY is my big goal.

 

[rumbly-tums]

Oh GG My bro and sis would be the same. All the above advice is so good and more importantly, you really need his support x

 

[Goreygirl]

Yeah.. I think "keeping it light" and not getting too stressed about it is the right way to go. My therapist keeps telling me I have to get better at being honest with him about who I am now (rather than both of us acting on who we were 18 years ago which was the last time we lived in the same country never mind the same house!) so that we can get to know each other properly.

He'd invited me for xmas but I had to say no (which I was really anxious about) which I know disappointed him. I would love to go up for xmas but at this stage in "recovery" it's too much. His in-laws don't speak English, I don't speak Swedish and I get "hyper aware" of myself up there and that starts the little voice off in my head so I get really stressed. I'm working hard on all that but I think xmas would be just too much just now.

 

[LV30]

Probably wise not to go visit this Christmas. Jeez Christmas is stressful enough - I'd stay well clear!

But wouldn't that be a fantastic goal to be slim for Christmas 2011 and spend Christmas with them then? (Gives you time to learn a little bit of Swedish to converse with the out-laws!)

Lynne
x

 

[Goreygirl]

But wouldn't that be a fantastic goal to be slim for Christmas 2011 and spend Christmas with them then? (Gives you time to learn a little bit of Swedish to converse with the out-laws!)

Lynne
x

Great idea! Going to work on my sis to come up next year too with her kids and OH so we can have a big family xmas. We haven't had one for 5 years!"

 

[LV30]

Yay!! Another goal!! lol
Lx