I will be thin!

[Mummy Sarah]

ok here goes my first online diary. After an whole life time of trying too loose weight and having failure after failure im in slimming world and determined this is the time im going to change it around. I have lost a lot with them before and managed to get down to 12st but having two babies and suffering from post natal depression a tad I glided slowly up to 17st 3n half. Which as many as you know does nothing for self confidence. so basically, im quiet, i dont like confrontation and as much as id love to take the kids swimming every week im restricted by this blob of weight. I blame my parents wasnt raised in a normal enviroment and when i was 7 went to live with my nan (i was already a chubby child). now my nan (not the great cook) fed me sweets and rubbish gallore all through my life! So yes totally blame my family for my eating habits. And when i was 17 i was 14st 11 knowing i had to change i bought myself lots of ww meals and got myself down to 12st (yay!). When I fell pregnant at 20 Diet plans were pushed to oneside as my baby comes first and i didnt care what i ate aslong as my baby needs came first and then when baby number 2 came i had really low iron through out was given iron tabs and weight just piled on and got depressed a little bit due to worrying about how to deal with a toddler and a baby. Know at 24. I have a 3 and half yr old and and 1 and half yr old and decided know iv got more of a routien i can think a little bit about myself so started up slimming world again YAY and in one week i lost 3 and half pound. Determinded this time im going to change im not just doing it for myself im doing it for my family and to be able to do a lot more with them. Im doing it because i plan a third (and final) child and i want to be able to go to baby swimming, all the baby clubs and make friends and be confident. I want to be able to muck about in the park with my kids and not thought about as look at that fatty there! and also I want to be able to take lots of photos of us together as a family. as at the moment i hate my picture being taken. Iv been goodish this week and have weigh ins on a weds. so hopefully today me and my partner will either go walking or to the park if the weather stays dry. my body is screaming at me for exercise xx

 

[Rainbow-Diane]

Good luck Sarah. I'm restarting my journey too x

 

[Mummy Sarah]

thank you rainbow diane This time we can do it!!!!! XX

 

[Zest for Life]

Good luck, you might blame the past for your weight, but your an adult now, you have to make a choice, do I take control or do I live in the past? You know which choice you should make....
You know you can do it, take a look at the success stories section, it's inspiring, amazing even!
Good luck

 

[Mummy Sarah]

Exactly karen. I am going to change now hun. Im in control of all my decisions xx

 

[Zest for Life]

Exactly karen. I am going to change now hun. Im in control of all my decisions xx

Good luck,

 

[sargentgirl]

Good luck, we are all feeling the pain of being overweight. With eachothers support and alot of determination, we can get to our goal...we will be skinny! lol x

 

[~JoJo~]

Good luck Sarah, I know how it feels to be fat growing up. You're not given the best start in life my being overfed. I have never known what its like to be thin. I was fat all through my childhood and teens. Being big is what we've been used to, but we can be skinny minnies! Like above - we might have been given the wrong tools as a child, but as grown ups we can choose to make changes. Hope your diary helps you have a place to shout out - mine certainly is! Look forward to hearing your journey ) x

 

[Mummy Sarah]

Yesterday I had a really good day. My partner is off for a few days (he works shift work so works 2 days, 2 nights on and then 4 hours off). So we took the kids to the park with my little girl on her bike and the baby on his quad. He wasnt too fused on his quad. My girl however was the first time to ride a bike properly so i was really proud of her. We all walked a little but the weather was too cold and even through the kids were wrapped up in scarves mittens and helmets I made the decision to go home in the warm. My food throughout the day was very good for breakfast I had 2 weetabix and 200mls of semi skimmed milk, and a coffee with sweeteners and dash of milk. For dinner I made a Lovely spaghetti bolengaise (lean mince, garlic, onion, mushrooms, tin tomatoes, sweetcorn and pasta). and managed to drink a few glasses of squash. I made myself eat my syns as last week I did a lot of walking and stuck to diet with very little syns and only lost 3 and half. so I treated myself to a milky way crispy roll (6.5 syns) and a hilights hot chocolate (2 syns) and to finish the day off with a vanilla muller light. Althrough I am getting a tad fed up with muller lights. I have been putting banana in with the muller lights normally. but we all love them and even through i must have bought about 20 of them they are all gone.
I went to bed early around 8pm. however woke up at 4am with bad munchies and after going downstairs I grabbed another milky way crispies bar oops* but told myself its ok as it took my syns up to 15 if i counted it in with yesterdays food. Still ashamed through how easy I gave in to the demands of food. Well anyway, I might make stew today (syn free). Dont fancy a cooked dinner as mine are all full of syns (yorkshire pudding, gravy, stuffing, roasties) so going to stay away from them on sundays for a while. Aiming today to drink a lot of water I know I wont be able to do much walking freezing outside and got both kids at home. So waiting until tomorrow when eldest is in school and i can at least put the baby in the buggy and walk some miles hope weather warms and drys up (its jan so very unlikely). xxx

 

[Mummy Sarah]

Good luck Sarah, I know how it feels to be fat growing up. You're not given the best start in life my being overfed. I have never known what its like to be thin. I was fat all through my childhood and teens. Being big is what we've been used to, but we can be skinny minnies! Like above - we might have been given the wrong tools as a child, but as grown ups we can choose to make changes. Hope your diary helps you have a place to shout out - mine certainly is! Look forward to hearing your journey ) x

Yes exactly. Just wish I was brought up strict with food. My nan still tries to give the kids piles of sweeties when I go to hers now. She gives my little boy a packet of milky bars and kitkats thats about 6 milky bars and 9 kitkats (whats a 18month to do with all that) so im very sweet i take them off her and when i get home throw them in the bin apart from one and give him the one. My mum in law as commented (shes big too) that its a waste but i reply its not a waste if it keeps your child fit and healthy and happy and brought up respecting food. xx

 

[Mummy Sarah]

Iv had two weigh ins since my last post and both I had some nice loses first being 3.5 pounds again and second being 2.5 pounds which is a total of 9.5lbs off. bringing me down to 16stone 8 which i havent been for over a year . going down nice and slowly. having a bad week this week through. On thursday me and my mum in law visited my nan who was very ill and lonely and wasnt eating she had lost a lot of weight. so we brought her home to my home to stay for a while with us. she has started eating ok (still here mind but have been getting mcdonalds burgers and greggs pastys and cakes as she requests only these foods. I have been good in managing to dodge the pasties and mcdonalds but have given in to some cupcakes. (damn sweet tooth) its hard as im not used to caring for her aswell as preparing meals. I have made myself some super free noodles today and eat some cereal for breakfast and tea and lots of bananas. but also had two cupcakes and a kitkat :'( I need to be stronger tomorrow. Exercise completly thrown to one side too. until my nans home anyway. I was really proud of myself today as i took sadie to her friends birthday party and didnt touch any food! go me! Bit embarressing my jeans kept falling and i was constantly pulling them up another few weeks will need to be getting next size down so feeling good about that anyway

 

[Mummy Sarah]

Weigh day today and im really dreading it. Iv had a bad week and my nans still here. havent been able to walk or do any exercise this week and getting really stressed with keeping the kids calm and quiet and not to stress out my nan too much. Sadie had a really bad tantrum yesterday and as she has been getting her own way since my nan has arrived (trying to keep the peace not to upset my nan) shes becoming a little spoilt so when she started screaming for yogurts before her dinner yesterday I thought I have to do this for the sake of my child. And she screamed for about 20 mins kicking the floor and i ignored her. And she calmed down and was really pleasent the rest of the night. But them 20 mins really upset my nan, she said she was shaken up and was really scared praying she would stop as she thought thats how children go into fits and even through i tried to reassure her it wasnt, It took a while to calm her down. So In a moments panic i myself reached for a chocolate mini roll my nan had brought with her for the kids. In moments like this iv been having all this week. here is a list of what rubbish i remember eating this week.
+mini rolls
+chinease (chips and special fried rice)
+aero bars
+lots of extra bread and cereal
+rice crispy cereal bars
+a simpsons donut from asda :O
+ fairy cakes.

So i know iv gained or STS (most prob gained) I have been cooking lots of healthy free meals but snaking lots inbetween hoping my nan be able to go home next week so can start afresh Anyone had bad weeks like this and when things get stressful reach for rubbish food

 

[Mummy Sarah]

I put on 2lb :O :wave_cry::break_diet:
Felling really low. Bought an exercise dvd today. my nan is using the sofa as a bad at the moment so cant go with my plan and do exercising while she is still staying here or ill desturb her and at the moment the only free time i have is when the kids go to bed too.x

 

[Mummy Sarah]

Things are getting 1000000x harder. And even through today iv not done too bad its all down to my nan staying here. I know im being selfish but the kids are playing up the kitchen is full of chocolate, crisps, cakes, biscuits, milkshakes as my nan as been buying them for the kids. and my control over foods is slipping. Im starting to be obsessed. My kids are lucky to have a bag of buttons a week never mind this full on sugar junk my nan has got in. And I feel powerless to say anything. why? Because shes been ill, Shes old (74) and I know shes not going to be here long and i dont want to upset her. Yesterday as cold as it was I wrapped the baby up and went walking to distract myself and very proudly ended up walking 3.5 miles. Stuck to the plan brilliently and when I noticed the mini rolls staring me in the face i grabbed the splenda and took a big tablespoon. YUK i know what your all thinking but it was better than a slip. I decided to cook the pancakes (free version) to take my mind off the cupcakes lurking in the cupboard. And followed the instructions seperate the yolk from white, add sweetener, cinnamon, and vanilla essence. I excitely chopped up a banana to go with it and I must have made a mistake as when i sat down and eat some I made some sweet cinnamon omulette. So made myself eat sweet egg and banana so i woudnt fall off the wagan. My nan decided to have a bath this morning, and she takes ages when she bathes (at least an hour) so thought it was the perfect oppertunity to put on the ministry of sound dance dvd. I was really getting into it, and found it really fun just finished the warm up with my little boy started crying (he was miserable from teething) and even through i tried to involve him in dancing i had to turn the dvd off I just trying so hard not to slip this week. I dont want another gain. Iv had big meals. jacket beans and ham for dinner, and rice beans and chicken for tea (i know ill be fluffing loads with beans.but its better than giving into my demans) I will get back on track. going to take kids to park tomorrow. If i did slip this week wont be able to face slimming world on weds be too embaressed to have gained for the second time running. so will just not go back until my nans gone home. I just want to go downstairs and grab the chocolate and cakes and have a big munch but Im staying strong and telling myself no. for the moment anyway

 

[Mummy Sarah]

Managed to stay strong yesterday hubby came home and grabbed a mini roll for myself and him from the kitchen and i declined. Managed to do 20 mins of jogging in the bedroom after the kids went to bed and before hubby comes home at 7.45pm. Had some glasses of sugar free danilion and burdock soda. Had an earliesh night at 9pm and so far this morning I have had 2 weetabix, banana and my milk (HEA +B). Taking the kids to a play centre today weather is freezing with posibility of snow so the park is cancelled. Will probably have lunch there (jacket potato and beans and salad) and should be ok syn wise. more positive about today keeping myself busy is the key. Sadies brought home bradley bear (teddy play group from peppa pig) so will be off to tescos later on to print out the photograph to put in the schools book.

 

[Mummy Sarah]

Had a goodish day today so far.
for breakfast i had the 2 weetabix with banana and milk. (HEA+B)
then had a 1rivitta and 1 laughing cow cheese (4syns???) not sure.
Dinner jacket potato, beans, lettuce, tomato and cucumber and a diet coke.
then had 5 molteasers (3 syns maybe?)
tea was one peice of wholemeal small toast (3 syns), beans, fried egg, mushrooms, tomatoes, all fried in frilight. And a mullerlight (Lemon cheesecake) (1 syn)
so im estamating around 11 syns today not too bad.
Got some pepsi max's and bananas if i get pekish tonight. Hubbys gone to work, nan asleep downstairs and kids both in beds, so going to do some jogging on the spot tonight. See how long i can manage tonight. 15 minutes will be amazing. Bought a new fitness dvd so my hubby will do it with me. (he wont do the dancing in ministry of sound one). I got the fat burner, 10 mintue session one. xxx yay.

 

[cat yoyo greaves]

she may be your nan and you love her but dont let her take over its your home your children and your life.

i dont want to get on my soap box and upset you but with her buying all the crap for the kids is she not just doing the same as she did with you as a child and trying to love them with chocolate and food (my mum gets like this sometimes with my son ) but i put my foot down and limit his treats as i dont want him growing up thinking he can stuff his face with crap.

treats are a few times a week and puddings tend to be fruit and/or yogs (me and him)

we make fruit kebabs on skewers alot he finds that soooo much fun i just prep it up give him the fruit chunks and skewers and away he goes sometimes i get him out a custard pot to dip into which is one of his faves.

please dont be offended by what i have said im only trying to help as ive had same issues with (feeders) in my family

 

[Mummy Sarah]

My nans going home on monday so only 2 days left and things will go normal again. the baby as been really good and I made him some banana and strawberry's after is tea. Im not offended. Its hard when its family and not wanting to offend.

 

[Mummy Sarah]

Day started off goodish today. The snow has turned sludge and havent dared ventured outside with the kids of fear we with all fall flat on our faces. so been a boring hectic day at home. For breakfast I had 2 weetabix with milk and banana (HEA+B) cooked a big dinner where i had Slimming world roasties, pork chops (no fat), Carrots, mushy peas,sweetcorn, mashed potato (no milk or butter added), and 2 honey glazed parsnip (3 syns each). I recieved my British gas bill through an email. £610 I really have used a lot of gas these past few months. So did reach for a handful of mini eggs about (6/7) so hopping thats not more than 12 syns. Have also had a strawberry muller light and a few bananas.
Managed to do 10 mins of the cardio fat buster workout. It may of only been 10mins but the workout was full on and it got my heart beating fast.x got some pepsi max here tonight so im just going to fill up on some pepsi max if i fancy something. I dont feel like iv lost weight through past few weeks I could feel when iv lost weight (strange I know) but having a fat week. But doing a lot more exercise than Im used to doing. Just hoping I lose 2 pounds this week to knock off the gain. That would be fantastic.x