I'm changing counsellors

[gaijingirl]

Well I really hope I've made the right decision. My counsellor and I don't really see eye to eye. I don't really want to go into the details as I don't feel it would be fair to him. He's a good man and I'm sure he's very successful with others, but we do seem to clash and I don't feel very comfortable with him as a counsellor.

The counselling is the most important part of this for me. God knows I know how to diet - I've done enough of them. It's all the other stuff going on in my head that's the problem.

I've had a good chat with a new counsellor who really sounds like someone I can relate to. She was also one of those who put the LL programme together - so she really knows her stuff.

I'm a bit scared and I hope I'm making the right decision - but at least I've made a decision now - I've had underlying doubts for a while now and at my WI last night it sort of came to a head.

Either way - I'm determined to see this through!

The downside is that I will have to travel further for my new meetings and they're at a less convenient time (Sunday mornings). However, I think I can turn the inconvenient time into a "convenient" if I use it as an opportunity to get out and have a bit of a "day out" on a Sunday! And the further travel would be a nice bike ride on a sunny morning! (or a sh!tty tube ride on a nasty morning.. ).

God I hope I've done the right thing. But emails sent now and bridges well and truely burnt!!

 

[Flopster]

I am sure you have done the right thing if it helps. I so completely agree that the important bit of this is the counselling and I always think it is such a shame to give up on that.

Good luck with the move and keep us informed of how you get on!

 

[magickmel]

Agree, we are paying a lot of money on LL and its great as long as you are getting something out of the counselling. If this important bit isn't working then you have to change it. Trust your intuition !
Melissa x

 

[gaijingirl]

It does help - loads! There's part of me that says - if it 'ain't broke don't fix it - and I'm losing loads of weight. But I know 100% that without major changes to my inner self that I will put it all back on and probably in half the time it took before!

I feel really committed to this. I'm determined to see the 100 days through. I will probably go into development and I feel that with the right counsellor I will certainly go through maintenance - for me that will be the most important stage I think. If I don't need counselling/support for ever I'd be surprised to be honest. That's fine. If that's what it takes - so be it. But at this early stage of what's likely to be a change for life I really feel I need to be comfortable with my counsellor.

I just feel scared - I feel like I've burnt a bridge, I'm scared of how he's going to react and I'm scared in case I have problems with the new counsellor too and it's just that I'm an awful person.... - I mean I don't really think that, but it is a worry...

 

[gaijingirl]

The thing is - it's not exactly that I don't feel the counselling isn't working.. in group sessions I understand what he is saying and find it really interesting. But when we speak on a one to one basis we always seem to end up having massive misunderstandings - and now I'm basically a bit afraid to ask him anything in case I make him angry. (which is my problem really not his)

Like I say.. it's not that he's a bad person - we just seem to have personalities which don't get on v. well!

 

[magickmel]

You aren't doing anything awful. In life we meet some people we like and feel as if we have known them for life even though its been a few hours. Other people we are indifferent too or don't care if we ever link up with them again !

I understand about the anger thing, I usually think people are angry with me so try to be aware if its my stuff, not theirs. Even if he WAS angry with you then that's his choice, you can't stop it and you are being true to yourself by doing what you feel is right for you. You are being in control of your circumstances and that is a strong thing to do.
Hugs
Melissa x

 

[gaijingirl]

Thanks Melissa. I'll let you know how I get on with the new lady! I really appreciate you taking the time to put my mind at ease.

 

[IreneH]

I think you've done the right thing. I also changed CD counsellors and have not regretted it although at the time I felt very guilty
Irene xx

 

[magickmel]

Yes let us know, looking forward to seeing how you get on with the new LLC !
Melissa x

 

[pebbles]

What a shame, good luck with your new counsellor.

 

[Isobel1965]

I'm sure it will be fine, hun!

 

[Mini]

I think you just have to be comfortable with your counsellor.

Good luck and hope it will work out well for you.

Love Mini xxx

 

[chicken on a mission]

It doesn't matter how good the course is if you can't relate to the counsellor.

Yes, you will still be getting something from the counselling but to really get the most from it you need to find counsellor that suits you.

Yes LL is £66 a week but that's the least of it. In order to give yourself the best opportunities to get the most from the course to help you beat you demons for life and not just initially to lose the weight, it makes sense to swap.

I do feel you have made the right decision because you have to do what suits you