I'm still here (baaaad week :( )

[pete10141748]

Well, what a week this has been;

• Broke up with the girlfriend
• Went for eye tests and was told laser surgery can't help me, won't ever be able to drive a car etc.
• The eye tests done caused my eye condition to react badly and grow tiny ulcers on my lenses and corneas resulting in both eyes being permanently patched over for the last 5 days (SO SO SO BORING being blind ) and I still have very poor vision which will still take weeks to heal
• Grandad was taken off to hospital with inexplicable internal bleeds, still there and might not be coming out again
• Grandma panicking and anxieting her way onto her own deathbed over my grandad's condition, to the point where my Mum has had to move out of our house and into hers to take care of her 24/7, resulting in my Dad being overly (but understandably) stressed
• Got the keys to my flat but can't do anything with it due to all above things happening

I totally lost my appetite on the days my eyes were patched up and only had about 3 packs over the whole week, then hunger hit with a vengance today and I totally pigged out on everything in the kitchen, now feel totally stuffed and sick depsite not eating anywhere near as much as I used to on my junky binges, got an early WI tomorrow which is now going to be completely screwed up, just forced down today's shakes and am seriously questioning how much longer I can drink these chemical-tasting sludgies, and generally feel knarked off with life all together.

So, yeah, what a frickin' great week this has been :wave_cry:



/end relentless self-pity :copon:



Hope everyone's doing OK!

 

[daisydoll]

((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))) - you sound like you could do with some

i'm sorry you are ahving such a tough time - i hope your grandad improves.

your eyes sound a bit scary, are you in pain?

perhaps its time for RTM - you are looking so good in your latest pics and maybe it would give you something to focus your attention on?

i hope things get better soon for you
daisy x

 

[jcjazzy]

HI Pete , No wonder you're p...d off,there's a hell of alot going on there.At least you've drawn a line under your binge and have you weigh in tomorrow.Perhaps you can discuss your feelings about continuing on the diet with your LLC and see if there any options for you at present.You have done so so well,don't lose sight of that .I don't know how far you have until your target,but I'm guessing it can't be long! Hopefully your LLC ,and self of course, will find a way through.Good luck x

 

[catznolan]

u sound like ur having a pretty rough time hunni, just wanna send hugs.

i also think its tim u listened to ur body and maybe think bout rtm. ya know when people say ull know when its time...well i truely think u have hit it!! i really dont wanna seem pushy in any way cause i do believe ya have to hit ur own goals on ll, hopefully ull see the light.

hope everything settles down soon hun xxx

 

[susianna]

Sorry you are having such a crap time Pete, it certainly has come all at once for you ..... really hope Grandad improves try and think positively for him and fingers crossed he will surprise you all.

Sending get well wishes for your eyes and hope its not too long before you can move into your flat. Is there a chance you can sort things out with your girlfriend?

I think you have done so well to only have binged today after the week you have had .... you could have done much more damage so hopefully your WI won't be too bad and you can draw a line under it!

Don't know what else to say ... just hope things improve quickly! :hug99:

x

 

[Foxtrot]

Wow! Just huge hugs pete!!! You can always pick up the diet at a later date, just concentrate on your family and your eyes for a bit. xx

 

[IslandBreeze]

What a horrible week. Don't feel bad about eating, you've been under a huge amount of pressure. Get back on the wagon when you feel up to it and just try to not binge too much until then, you don't want to undo all your good work. But focus on looking after yourself. :hug99:

 

[JazzyB]

Hi Pete, this isnt like you is it? Yr the strong one normally - and look how far you have gone with yr diet etc so dont feel bad about one feedin frenzy after all that time! And considering all thats happened its really no surprise - I'm sure I would have done the same (or much much worse).
Yr pictures look great though and you're not going to undo all that in one night.

I really hope that your Grandad gets better, and you get things together again with yr GF but concentrate on one thing at a time - u wont be able to help anyone if you're poorly so look after yr eyes, and you and dont worry if that means putting LL to the side for a few days.
TC
xx

 

[slendablenda]

Sorry Pete

What a lot of emotional stuff going on for you. Not surprising you feel like slipping back into familiar habits.
It won't be the same for you now though.
Even though all these things are happening now, they haven't been caused by you doing LL have they?
Losing weight doesn't stop life events, but I bet you can cope with them better now than you could have done before LL.
All those positives are still there, no-one can take away what you have achieved.
Sending you hugs and positve vibes.
Good luck with everything. xxx

 

[mommyB]

Sorry to hear things not going so weel, not surprised you havent been around much.
Dont worry about the munchies, think any of us would crack under the circumstances.
Hope things improve soon

 

[Poppysparkle]

Gawd Pete!! What a flipping nightmare week!

I had bilateral iritis and couldn't see properly for about six weeks and just couldn't focus. It was the worst time ever, so I TOTALLY feel for you honey!

Look after yourself, you have been through hell. You know you are the most positive person and I have no doubt you will get back on track when you are ready to do so. Sending you massive virtual ((((hugs)))) and sloppy kisses!! ;-) Mwah!

 

[EmVeg]

Sorry to hear its been so tough for you. Agree that it sounds like it may be time to really consider RTM, you've been through a lot and achieved so much x

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Hey Pete, good to hear from you but sorry there's so much Carp going on for you at the moment. Hope things sort themselves out asap.

Re LL - if it's right for you to move on then JDI. No analysis, it's your decision.

I go into RTM in 14 days & it would be cool to share the journey.

Best wishes whatever you decide

 

[Happydays]

Hi Pete. This is a nightmare time but it will pass. Just hang on in there. You look GREAT. Given what is happening, no wonder you feel wobbly. Just do your best and pick up again once things settle down.

 

[asilasil]

Hells bells Pete...not a good time hun. I would say take each hour/day at a time. Some things are beyond your control and you cant do anything about them. But somethings remain in your control, so focus on those things. I have read some of your posts and I have come to the conclusion that your can be very focussed when you want to be. Dont take it out on yourself when you cant change what is happening anyway.
Good luck hun. Keep strong.
xx

 

[pete10141748]

Thanks everyone, feeling better today, eyes are clearing up and Grandad is back home tomorrow

I'm off to Brighton for the next 4 or 5 days to stay with friends, really need the pick-me-up right now so I think it'll do good in all respects, not least because having others around all the time I'll have no "sneaky" eating moments! lol

15stone is my target now, so I've got 1 stone to lose.
Ideally, I'll be moving to RTM at the time I move into my flat in around a month.

1 stone to lose, 1 month to do it...... seems kinda like it was meant to be, eh?


Thanks again for the well wishes everyone, they have really helped me feel better this evening

xx

 

[Happydays]

Hi Pete You sound a lot more positive. I think bad patches hit everyone in life. It's how we deal with them that matters. Let's face it eating just makes things ten times worse.View it as a learning curve...we have to learn to do something different. I have EVERY confidence that you will lose your stone in the month.

 

[slendablenda]

Glad things are getting better for you Pete and your family.
I hoppe you don't read this till you come back from Brighton and you will have had a good time.
1stone to go - nearly there.
After Easter we will have to make more firm arrangements on here about the meet next month.
I want to see your next photo with your smiling face back!
Hugs from rainy Worthing. xxx

 

[thin_inside]

Pete
Have a good time in Brighton. Chill out and enjoy the company of mates. Sounds like you need some fun time. Good news about your eyes and your grandad. And your goal seems very achievable. All the best xx

 

[Poppysparkle]

Enjoy the weekend away Pete and hope you have a lovely time with good friends, sounds like it couldn't have come at a better time.

Looking foward to hearing all about it when you get back!