Jax's Diary

Jax123

Gold Member
Thought it about time I got round to doing my diary ....

First a bit about me ... I’m 42 and have been up and down with my weight since my late teens but it’s only since having my girls that it’s been out of control. I had my eldest 11 years ago and gained 4 stone whilst pregnant but post pregnancy did WW (on my own, as I hate the big group meeting scenarios) going right the way down to goal (11stone – I’m tall at 5’9”). Then a year later I fell pregnant again, this time with twins and I ballooned again. This time I didn’t lose the weight after having them and over the last ten years I’ve yo-yo’d losing a stone and put two stone on.

My weakness is when I get stressed or feel down – I reach for food – It doesn’t seem to matter what it is – even half a loaf of bread and butter – I literally comfort eat until I’m almost sick. My worst time of the day is when I get in from work with the girls – I love them dearly but if they start arguing, fighting etc my stress levels go through the roof and I binge. So I apologise in advance to all of you who are online at that time as I will probably just come in here and vent!

Now I’ve decided enough is enough – We went to Scotland on holiday this year and we did quite a bit of walking - My girls have decided that next summer they want to go back and climb Ben Nevis – So I’ve set myself a challenge that by August 2009 when we go back I will be fit enough to go on holiday with them and keep up with hubby and girls instead of huffing and puffing close to tears behind them!

So I’ve started WW (again on my own) – My starting weight was 19stone 1lb, which is my heaviest ever. I’m now two and a half weeks in and lost a whopping one stone which obviously I am over the moon with but I’ve lost a stone and blown it and put two stone back on so many times that I’m scared half to death that it’s gonna happen again.

This time, however, I am gonna stick to it - I am gonna succeed and I will get up Ben Nevis next August!

My next weigh in will be Monday morning and I will have lost more than 2lb!!!

Sorry this is so long but just putting it down in black and white is kind of a mini achievement for me.
 
why are you apologising for how long your post is? i think its great that youve finally started a diary - have been keeping an eye out for it and wondering if it would ever come haha!

i dont think you're alone with the emotional eating - I eat particularly when I'm bored, restless etc.. but when i'm mega stressed i could easily match your half a loaf of bread and raise it! But thats why we're all here - to make changes and try and make it a lifestyle change rather than treat it as a quick fix.

Congratulations on your losses so far - a stone off in just two weeks is fantastic - just think, you could easily be another stone lighter by xmas! (theres just over 7 weeks til xmas I think, so at 2lbs a week you could easily hit 17st or possibly get into the 16's!) I know its easy to think "well i've blown it before" but really, havent we all? The trick is you need to think, well what triggers me.. and plan ahead so you can avoid the situations. If you know you're a stress-eater, have something low pointed, tasty and snackable available should you become bored - i have a curlywurly stashed in my freezer incase i need a chocolatey fix (only 2.5pts, and lasts longer frozen cause I suck it until it melts in my mouth lol :D) and i also portion my cheese and bread (because cheese is my WORST binge food) so i only have a max of 4 slices of bread available and 2pts worth of half fat cheese without having to defrost more (and luckily, i am very lazy so that works for me :))

if you have anyone to talk to as well (well you always have us :) ) its handy to have their phone number at the ready should you need to vent. I tend to ring my mum as shes always happy to listen to me rabbit on.. and if not, well i rabbit on on here anyway :)

climbing Ben Nevis would be a really memorable achievement - i would love to have an incentive like that to work towards. Currently I have january sales.. i hate shopping because i never find clothes that fit, but i am determined to make this lifestyle change work for me so i can enjoy the good things in life - going out for food / drink, shopping, wearing high heels for longer than 10 minutes without being crippled, and exercise.. yup - determined to find exercise that I enjoy and can fit into my life!

anyway, good luck and i look forward to seeing how you get on :) xxx
 
My weakness is when I get stressed or feel down – I reach for food – It doesn’t seem to matter what it is – even half a loaf of bread and butter – I literally comfort eat until I’m almost sick. My worst time of the day is when I get in from work with the girls – I love them dearly but if they start arguing, fighting etc my stress levels go through the roof and I binge. So I apologise in advance to all of you who are online at that time as I will probably just come in here and vent!
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Firstly, well done for getting that out! It's not always easy to say something like that.

Another mini-achievement is you have decided to do something about it.

Another is you have started to do something about so there's 3 mini-goals down already babe!

I comfort eat too, if i'm bored, sad or even happy! I eat just for the sake of it. I find now that (the majority of the time) i find something else to do to take my mind off it; read a book, play on my wii, surf the net, come on here, cleaning my room.

So I apologise in advance to all of you who are online at that time as I will probably just come in here and vent!
.

Hey, that's what we were all here for! We all do it hun so feel free! I know i always vent on here! If you fancy it, i will PM you my phone number and you can always vent to me! I text one of my text buddies regularly just venting about stuff and it does help xxx

if you have anyone to talk to as well (well you always have us :) ) its handy to have their phone number at the ready should you need to vent. I tend to ring my mum as shes always happy to listen to me rabbit on.. and if not, well i rabbit on on here anyway :)

Same goes for you missy, if you want a text buddy, i'll PM you my mobile number xx
 
Thanx both of you for your support - your tips for those trigger moments are very helpful - love the text buddy idea Emma and I might have to sneak something chocolately into my freezer too!

Blackwidow you say your looking for exercise that you enjoy etc ... your ability to swim 64 lengths in one go is some achievement! When I first read your post a while back I was gobsmacked!
 
hi Jax,

good luck wuith your journey.... can totally relate to your post... having an 11 yr old dd.. and 2dd aged 5 and 6... i have also yo yo'd for years.... just on the last leg now....

what a fab incentive to lose weight... a climb up Ben Nevis ( lol whatever rocks ya boat!!! :) ) look forward to Aug 2009 and the pics x

love Nas x
 
Another diary for us to nosey at :bliss:

Seriously, you sound very focused Im sure youll do it. The text thing is a great idea, a few of us on here have each others mobile numbers and its great being able to text someone who knows EXACTLY how you feel. Be happy to pass mine on too, once you have PM facility lol
 
Thanx guys!

Another diary for us to nosey at :bliss:

Seriously, you sound very focused Im sure youll do it. The text thing is a great idea, a few of us on here have each others mobile numbers and its great being able to text someone who knows EXACTLY how you feel. Be happy to pass mine on too, once you have PM facility lol

Best start posting then!

Todays going well - kept busy and struggling to use points for a change - Allowed 26 and used 18 so far - gonna save some for weekend but might have to have a glass of something nice in meantime.
 
Another good day :) - kept busy - my house has never been so clean! I always find being off work and the girls off school that its easier sticking to diet and a lot less stressful - dreading Tuesday when we all go back but hey ho thats life!
 
i thought usually it was the other way round? :p i dont even have any kids and my week goes all to pot when kids are off.. warm patches in the pool mean i cant swim.. freaks me out too much haha! :D

glad to know you're still doing well.. still cant believe youve already lost a whole stone! I've got some catching up to do :D hehe
 
i thought usually it was the other way round? :p i dont even have any kids and my week goes all to pot when kids are off.. warm patches in the pool mean i cant swim.. freaks me out too much haha! :D

lol - 9/10 my girls are as good as gold as long as I keep them occupied and busy and they get plenty of sleep. It's when they've been to school and they come home tired, hungry and ratty when all hell breaks loose! Have you found a new outfit for xmas yet?

Anyways another good day today :D - only used 16.5 out of my 26 as going down to London to take my niece and nephew out for lunch tomorrow - going to take some willpower to keep under my points but I will do it !
 
you'll manage! :) where are you headed for lunch?

and no.. fancy a shopping trip? :D
 
No shopping trip!!! ... ooooh I wished ... have fond memories of the Metro Centre :D

Went to Pizza Hut for lunch and had a fab time catching up with my niece and nephew - had decided to choose my lunch via their website before going to ensure I was within my points lol - and allow the crucial and almost obligatory bottle of wine on arrival back home this evening, again within my points - thus ensuring my sanity having spent 7 hours in the car with my 3 beloved daughters - the "are we nearly there yet?" syndrome driving me nuts!

So tomorrow morning I will drag myself, somewhat hung-over, to the weighing scales for my WI and know whatever the outcome that I finished the week within my points .... I dont think I have ever been so scared about a WI before lol
 
Hey Jax, good luck with your weigh in, you seem so focussed and determined!! I hope tomorrow is a great result! cant wait to hear how you get on! :D
 
Goodluck Jax!
 
Thanx guys ... No hangover this morning which I'm a pleasantly surprised at considering the bottle of wine last night. And its a 2lb loss :D which I'm well chuffed with especially as I didnt do any proper exercise as it's been half term and have been trying to keep the girls occupied and happy.

Hope everyone else is doing well :)
 
congrats thats brilliant! :) you're into the 17s now! go you! :D
 
What a great loss! Well done you! You're doing so well Jax xx
 
Thanks guys :)

Last few days have managed to stay within points but whoa only just - back at work and girls back to school - At one point this evening I locked the girls in the house as they were driving me nuts and took myself into the garage (converted into a "den" for the girls) - and sat there listening to their music full blast - Girls Aloud and Sugarbabes was not what the doctor ordered but the "taking five" as opposed to cramming my face with food was.

Felt a bit bad when I returned to house as the twins (aged 9) were in tears as they didnt know why I had done it!!!! Hopefully tomorrow they wont set at each other throats the minute we get in the door lol and if they do I shall retreat to the den with music of my choice!

Hope everyone else is doing good!
 
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