Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
Aww I'm happy the letter did the trick, hopefully this is the start of things getting better for you bothxx
Hopefully fingers crossed
Jo's Journey - 175lbs to happiness...
- Thread starter Darcys Mummy
- Start date
Hopefully fingers crossed
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
10:30am
MORNING...hope all of you are ok this morning and have had a wonderful weekend.
I don't have too much to report my weekends are pretty boring. I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I usually catch up on TV, I cook, I clean, I go to bed...pretty boring lol.
I have been on plan all weekend...I'm a very good girl...I managed to use all my bananas up..lol...crisis diverted lol I hate to see food go to waste lol but after all this had happened my Auntie turned up with a food processor and a smoothie maker for me so if I'd held on a little bit longer I could have made a smoothie with them...but I would have had to syn that so maybe I dodged a bullet?
For some strange reason I am on track with body magic I usually end up behind because I never do it at the weekend but I have and I am on track with it so YAY. There won't be a day of madness where I do a whole weeks worth in one day...shhh don't tell SW...but it does happen.
I have been very motivated since Friday and getting into my teens I reorganised some mini goals as my next one is 20lbs away so I made some more up to keep me busy in between now and then. So...
* 4lbs will take me to 40lbs
* 6lbs will take me to 3st
* 13lbs will take me to 3.5st
* 13.5lbs will take me to a new stone bracket (18s)
* 14lbs will take me to 50lbs (half century)
* 20lbs will take me to my pre-Darcy weight and my 4st award
Should keep me going for a while. I also decided that I would be happy to achieve my 4st by Christmas...my weight loss Christmas tree I'm aiming for 45lbs but I worked out I have lost 27lbs in 11 weeks so I doubt very much I will be able to lose 42lbs in 14 weeks...so if I reach 4st I will be satisfied anymore than that is a bonus but I'm not pressuring myself with the 45lbs by Christmas because I think it may be too much...I may even rethink it and aim for 2lbs a week which will be 28lbs by Christmas that seems more realistic to me.
I went searching over the weekend for sweet ideas I'm thinking ahead for Christmas I want to be able to indulge with my family but doing it the SW way so I think I'm going to practice from now until Christmas to find some recipes.
This weekend I tried a 30 second cake in a cup...http://www.minimins.com/slimming-world-recipes/344665-5-syn-chocolate-mug-cake.html
It was ok...I think I will play around with the recipe...to me cake should be sweet and this was very bitter...I think it needs more sweetener and also a tad more baking powder but it was enjoyable and I think with some choc shot it wouldn't be a bad little pudding. Also I think 30 secs was a bit too long in my microwave so I would drop the cooking time...I will report back when I make it again.
I'm also using some of these recipes and giving them a go - http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wo...wise-biscuit-cake-dessert-sweets-recipes.html
As a baker I find it really hard to make sw friendly cakes and cookies etc because they taste rank...usually...and I feel those who say they taste nice probably aren't the best bakers in the world to begin with...because some of them I wouldn't feed to my dog lol. However I have heard some good reviews and I am going to attempt to make some rolo cupcakes...I just need to wait for hubby to come home as I need an options hot chocolate sachet and all major supermarkets are too far for me to walk...especially for just one sachet of chocolate lol.
I also tried 'Magic Pancakes' now I had prepared myself for the fact they weren't going to be like a short stack of fluffy American pancakes...but I hadn't prepared myself for eating the most disgusting, vile thing I have ever tasted in my whole life...they were horrible!! I will syn my pancakes when I want them because no amount of weight loss is worth eating those disgusting 'Magic' pancakes...the magic part is being able to swallow them without bringing them back up.
Also going to give the SW 'haribo' sweets a whirl...hoping I like them so I can make a huge batch at Christmas and eat those whole my family jump into boxes of chocolates, and tins of roses and mince pies etc. Again will let you know what I think.
I finally got the courage up to go try on jeans...it depresses me greatly this task. I always said jeans are the most unforgiving of all the clothes so when you can fit in your desired size in jeans you have succeeded...now I knew it wasn't going to be pretty because not only am I fat but I have hips...big big hips...as you can see in my photo/avatar but I knew it needed to be done so I grabbed a few sizes and I made that long walk into the changing rooms...side note...I think in 'big girl' shops they should put curtains over the mirrors so you can get changed then pull it back for the reveal cos I was surrounded by mirrors and it was not a pretty sight lol...anyway long story short...I got into a size 24. Now at 20st...sorry 19st 13lbs lol...I expected to be around this size...remembering that in my WW days at 15st 3lbs I was an 18. I got them on and zipped them up comfortably and was happy with it I did have a 22 in there with me but I didn't attempt them I decided that a 22 would be a bouncing up and down, breathing in to zip them up situation so I settled for the 24s. Now the none scale victory here is...when I started on July 4th 2014...I was struggling to get into an elasticated size 24 jegging...so to get into a pair on non elasticated size 24 jeans comfortably without having to do the 'jean dance'...I am very happy with that. Also I not so long ago purchased size 18 elasticated workout clothes...so all in all very very happy with my progress...now I don't see it looking at myself but this is proof that something is happening....
I have also started a fluid intake chart...sounds technical its a piece of paper on my fridge where I write down my drinks...nothing technical at all lol. I felt I haven't been drinking as much as I should over the last 2 weeks so as an experiment I am forcing myself to drink 2 litres of water a day and 2 green teas minimum a day...(not sure what amount of green tea is advised per day)...and we'll see what or if it makes a difference on Friday at my weigh in.
As always the pics will follow this post...food ones and some personal ones...
Love to you all xx
Good luck to any weigh in today.
MORNING...hope all of you are ok this morning and have had a wonderful weekend.
I don't have too much to report my weekends are pretty boring. I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I usually catch up on TV, I cook, I clean, I go to bed...pretty boring lol.
I have been on plan all weekend...I'm a very good girl...I managed to use all my bananas up..lol...crisis diverted lol I hate to see food go to waste lol but after all this had happened my Auntie turned up with a food processor and a smoothie maker for me so if I'd held on a little bit longer I could have made a smoothie with them...but I would have had to syn that so maybe I dodged a bullet?
For some strange reason I am on track with body magic I usually end up behind because I never do it at the weekend but I have and I am on track with it so YAY. There won't be a day of madness where I do a whole weeks worth in one day...shhh don't tell SW...but it does happen.
I have been very motivated since Friday and getting into my teens I reorganised some mini goals as my next one is 20lbs away so I made some more up to keep me busy in between now and then. So...
* 4lbs will take me to 40lbs
* 6lbs will take me to 3st
* 13lbs will take me to 3.5st
* 13.5lbs will take me to a new stone bracket (18s)
* 14lbs will take me to 50lbs (half century)
* 20lbs will take me to my pre-Darcy weight and my 4st award
Should keep me going for a while. I also decided that I would be happy to achieve my 4st by Christmas...my weight loss Christmas tree I'm aiming for 45lbs but I worked out I have lost 27lbs in 11 weeks so I doubt very much I will be able to lose 42lbs in 14 weeks...so if I reach 4st I will be satisfied anymore than that is a bonus but I'm not pressuring myself with the 45lbs by Christmas because I think it may be too much...I may even rethink it and aim for 2lbs a week which will be 28lbs by Christmas that seems more realistic to me.
I went searching over the weekend for sweet ideas I'm thinking ahead for Christmas I want to be able to indulge with my family but doing it the SW way so I think I'm going to practice from now until Christmas to find some recipes.
This weekend I tried a 30 second cake in a cup...http://www.minimins.com/slimming-world-recipes/344665-5-syn-chocolate-mug-cake.html
It was ok...I think I will play around with the recipe...to me cake should be sweet and this was very bitter...I think it needs more sweetener and also a tad more baking powder but it was enjoyable and I think with some choc shot it wouldn't be a bad little pudding. Also I think 30 secs was a bit too long in my microwave so I would drop the cooking time...I will report back when I make it again.
I'm also using some of these recipes and giving them a go - http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wo...wise-biscuit-cake-dessert-sweets-recipes.html
As a baker I find it really hard to make sw friendly cakes and cookies etc because they taste rank...usually...and I feel those who say they taste nice probably aren't the best bakers in the world to begin with...because some of them I wouldn't feed to my dog lol. However I have heard some good reviews and I am going to attempt to make some rolo cupcakes...I just need to wait for hubby to come home as I need an options hot chocolate sachet and all major supermarkets are too far for me to walk...especially for just one sachet of chocolate lol.
I also tried 'Magic Pancakes' now I had prepared myself for the fact they weren't going to be like a short stack of fluffy American pancakes...but I hadn't prepared myself for eating the most disgusting, vile thing I have ever tasted in my whole life...they were horrible!! I will syn my pancakes when I want them because no amount of weight loss is worth eating those disgusting 'Magic' pancakes...the magic part is being able to swallow them without bringing them back up.
Also going to give the SW 'haribo' sweets a whirl...hoping I like them so I can make a huge batch at Christmas and eat those whole my family jump into boxes of chocolates, and tins of roses and mince pies etc. Again will let you know what I think.
I finally got the courage up to go try on jeans...it depresses me greatly this task. I always said jeans are the most unforgiving of all the clothes so when you can fit in your desired size in jeans you have succeeded...now I knew it wasn't going to be pretty because not only am I fat but I have hips...big big hips...as you can see in my photo/avatar but I knew it needed to be done so I grabbed a few sizes and I made that long walk into the changing rooms...side note...I think in 'big girl' shops they should put curtains over the mirrors so you can get changed then pull it back for the reveal cos I was surrounded by mirrors and it was not a pretty sight lol...anyway long story short...I got into a size 24. Now at 20st...sorry 19st 13lbs lol...I expected to be around this size...remembering that in my WW days at 15st 3lbs I was an 18. I got them on and zipped them up comfortably and was happy with it I did have a 22 in there with me but I didn't attempt them I decided that a 22 would be a bouncing up and down, breathing in to zip them up situation so I settled for the 24s. Now the none scale victory here is...when I started on July 4th 2014...I was struggling to get into an elasticated size 24 jegging...so to get into a pair on non elasticated size 24 jeans comfortably without having to do the 'jean dance'...I am very happy with that. Also I not so long ago purchased size 18 elasticated workout clothes...so all in all very very happy with my progress...now I don't see it looking at myself but this is proof that something is happening....
I have also started a fluid intake chart...sounds technical its a piece of paper on my fridge where I write down my drinks...nothing technical at all lol. I felt I haven't been drinking as much as I should over the last 2 weeks so as an experiment I am forcing myself to drink 2 litres of water a day and 2 green teas minimum a day...(not sure what amount of green tea is advised per day)...and we'll see what or if it makes a difference on Friday at my weigh in.
As always the pics will follow this post...food ones and some personal ones...
Love to you all xx
Good luck to any weigh in today.
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
- sausage, bacon and eggs...nothing else in the houseNo pic but tea was lamb steak, mash and mixed vegetables
- I love cereal if there was a cereal diet id be on it lol
- chicken, ham and chorizo salad - this is my new favourite meal
- fakeaway chicken tikka masala and pilau rice - bit hot for me will be changing it to suit next time
- x factor snacks...chines bbq rib popcorn, gold bar and freddo
- the 'magically' ended up in the bin pancakes lol
- went back to old faithful
- jacket potato with beans, cheese, onion and bacon
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
Darcy putting on pop socks at shoe shop yesterday lol
- Darcy trying on heels in shoe shop yesterday I have a funny video of her walking in them too lol
- finally I went to the loo to find this...only in my asylum lol
NewMe14
Gold Member
congrats on the jeans hun, you will be in the next size down in no time!
I find some of the sw cakes etc a bit fake too. I'd rather a piece of the real thing and just syn it. I saw a you tube video about making the sweets kind of like haribos using gelatine and a muller light yogurt? I wonder are we thinking of the same sweets? I thought they looked great and really want to try them. I think your idea of having a load ready for xmas is great. Will keep us away from the tins of roses!
Great food pics as usual hun and loving Darcy in the heels!
I find some of the sw cakes etc a bit fake too. I'd rather a piece of the real thing and just syn it. I saw a you tube video about making the sweets kind of like haribos using gelatine and a muller light yogurt? I wonder are we thinking of the same sweets? I thought they looked great and really want to try them. I think your idea of having a load ready for xmas is great. Will keep us away from the tins of roses!
Great food pics as usual hun and loving Darcy in the heels!
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
I will do hun I'm making it my mission to find something nice lol...hoping to make rolo cupcakes tonight so will let you know.
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
congrats on the jeans hun, you will be in the next size down in no time!
I find some of the sw cakes etc a bit fake too. I'd rather a piece of the real thing and just syn it. I saw a you tube video about making the sweets kind of like haribos using gelatine and a muller light yogurt? I wonder are we thinking of the same sweets? I thought they looked great and really want to try them. I think your idea of having a load ready for xmas is great. Will keep us away from the tins of roses!
Great food pics as usual hun and loving Darcy in the heels!
Thanks hun and I better be...another goal...that my clothes size doesn't start with a 2 lol
They're the ones hun...I'm hoping they taste as nice as they look. I prefer jelly sweets to chocolate so if they are...I'll be in heaven and the whole lot are only 3 syns.
Lol she was sooo funny she had all customers laughing the snotty staff not so much...as it was a posh shop...and I was encouraging her...not a good mummy moment but it was funny lol
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
Mine are in fridge waiting to be eaten just waiting for darcy to go to bed so I can have them to myself lol
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
8am
EVENING
I have made the rolo cupcakes and omg they're delish...I've had 3 already...not very big but worth the 2 syns...and they've had family seal of approval hubby and darcy have devoured them.
As I just said my haribo are in the fridge...they're calling my name but darcy doesn't share her haribo so I'm not sharing mine lol will report back soon...
EVENING
I have made the rolo cupcakes and omg they're delish...I've had 3 already...not very big but worth the 2 syns...and they've had family seal of approval hubby and darcy have devoured them.
As I just said my haribo are in the fridge...they're calling my name but darcy doesn't share her haribo so I'm not sharing mine lol will report back soon...
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
...haribo sweets are delish
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
- delicious...have a go hun xx
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
ooooo thank you, did you take a picture?
Don't want much you do you? Lol of course I did hun lol here you go.
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
Batch one has gone...I put them out of Darcy's sight last night then when I came downstairs this morning her and hubby were having them for breakfast lol...nipped out for a bit came back and hubby had one with his lunch so I have had to make another load today...so they're a hit at my house lol
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
3:15PM
AFTERNOON
Hope everyone's fab today.
If you've been reading through my posts you will see I made the Rolo cupcakes which are delicious...I think I'm guna tweak the recipe a little to get a rise on the bake as mine are only as thick as the rolo itself but taste wise they're delish worth the 2 syns...I would much rather eat 3 of those for 6 syns than a curly wurly for the same amount of syns...the recipe is in a post above that I posted for Miss SilverMoon lol...
I also made the haribo sweets...I stuck to strawberry all around just to be safe and they are delicious...I think next time I'm going to try just gelatine and no jelly crystals and try toffee and vanilla...I will let you know how it goes. Just curious has to how long they will last in the fridge don't get me wrong there aren't many left as hubby likes them too but I don't want to have to be making them everyday over Christmas because other people (hubby, child etc) keep nicking them lol. Would prefer to do just one big batch.
Still on plan...I am a good girl and up until about 20 minutes ago I would have said I'm feeling fabulous this week...I feel the difference in drinking regularly but in the last 20 minutes I have got stomach pains and they're hurting me. Not sure what's caused it but until then I was feeling fab as I said.
Darcys had her school photos done today...didn't find out till yesterday she was having them done...bit pissed about that she's been there a week...in that week no one could have mentioned it?
Also remember a week or more ago I said my hubby had been offered a job well he asked them yesterday what was the hold up and they have turned to him and said well we need to ask hubbys boss permission to take him on as if they do it without asking it could cost them the contract they have...which is understandable but...what if hubbys boss says no? I told hubby if he does say no then you tell him whether you go work for Hilliards (which is the people who have offered him a job) or not you will be leaving because we cannot get by on the wages he's on and he asked to be put in for everything they can offer to further his career with the company...he went on a course to become a site supervisor which in a nutshell means when his boss isn't there he's in charge and he gets paid a supplement whenever his boss leaves site...this happened 3 times then they brought in a site assistant which basically null and voids Phils site supervisor job which means no more supplements...then he asked to fork lift license and they said yep no problem...but...he won't be on fork lift wages and he won't be getting a fork lift job he will just be a stand in...so he will only get paid when he actually sits in the fork lift and he will only do that when the fork lift driver is off work...so again...no income boost...they're screwing him over...they promised him weekend work every weekend for 3 years...he's been there for a month and hasn't worked a single weekend yet...they're treating him like **** and I wouldn't stand for it...
Anyway...yesterday after speaking to the company who offered him a job...his old boss rang him as they became good friends...before his boss jumped ship and they were doing the usual how are you how's the family bit and he offered Phil a job...lol...like buses...none then they all come at once lol...so hubby put a holiday in for today and we've been over to see his old boss and get details on the jobs etc...this job is basically the same wages etc as Hilliards had offered him...but no company car...but rather than him being an hour away from home he'll only be 20 minutes...so where he's losing the company car...he's gaining with location...if he went with Hilliards he would be on the bottom of the pile...if he goes to work with his old boss...he'll go in at the supervisor level...and his old boss told him because he's already qualified for supervisor within a few months he may find they offer him an assistant job...which is even more money plus a company car...the only worry I have with this new offer...is...what if the blokes just telling him what he wants to hear to lure him away from his current job and he gets there and its the same thing...no chance of promotion just £4 an hour better off...its a tough one...I know my hubby in his heart has made his mind up he wants to go to his old boss but we have to discuss it because...once he leaves the company he's with...they probably won't take him back if things don't work out at the new place...whereas with Hilliards they're a well known company and have plenty of work on...and so long as he kept his nose clean he'd have a job...this new company...I haven't heard of them and neither has Phil...I think I need to do some homework and see what they're about before we make this decision...although his old boss isn't stupid he wouldn't have jumped ship if he wasn't sure...as he has 5 kids to feed and clothe...so I doubt he would make an uneducated decision...argh why am I more nervous Phil...lol
Anyway that me for today...I will post pix after this...have a fab day people.
AFTERNOON
Hope everyone's fab today.
If you've been reading through my posts you will see I made the Rolo cupcakes which are delicious...I think I'm guna tweak the recipe a little to get a rise on the bake as mine are only as thick as the rolo itself but taste wise they're delish worth the 2 syns...I would much rather eat 3 of those for 6 syns than a curly wurly for the same amount of syns...the recipe is in a post above that I posted for Miss SilverMoon lol...
I also made the haribo sweets...I stuck to strawberry all around just to be safe and they are delicious...I think next time I'm going to try just gelatine and no jelly crystals and try toffee and vanilla...I will let you know how it goes. Just curious has to how long they will last in the fridge don't get me wrong there aren't many left as hubby likes them too but I don't want to have to be making them everyday over Christmas because other people (hubby, child etc) keep nicking them lol. Would prefer to do just one big batch.
Still on plan...I am a good girl and up until about 20 minutes ago I would have said I'm feeling fabulous this week...I feel the difference in drinking regularly but in the last 20 minutes I have got stomach pains and they're hurting me
. Not sure what's caused it but until then I was feeling fab as I said.Darcys had her school photos done today...didn't find out till yesterday she was having them done...bit pissed about that she's been there a week...in that week no one could have mentioned it?
Also remember a week or more ago I said my hubby had been offered a job well he asked them yesterday what was the hold up and they have turned to him and said well we need to ask hubbys boss permission to take him on as if they do it without asking it could cost them the contract they have...which is understandable but...what if hubbys boss says no? I told hubby if he does say no then you tell him whether you go work for Hilliards (which is the people who have offered him a job) or not you will be leaving because we cannot get by on the wages he's on and he asked to be put in for everything they can offer to further his career with the company...he went on a course to become a site supervisor which in a nutshell means when his boss isn't there he's in charge and he gets paid a supplement whenever his boss leaves site...this happened 3 times then they brought in a site assistant which basically null and voids Phils site supervisor job which means no more supplements...then he asked to fork lift license and they said yep no problem...but...he won't be on fork lift wages and he won't be getting a fork lift job he will just be a stand in...so he will only get paid when he actually sits in the fork lift and he will only do that when the fork lift driver is off work...so again...no income boost...they're screwing him over...they promised him weekend work every weekend for 3 years...he's been there for a month and hasn't worked a single weekend yet...they're treating him like **** and I wouldn't stand for it...
Anyway...yesterday after speaking to the company who offered him a job...his old boss rang him as they became good friends...before his boss jumped ship and they were doing the usual how are you how's the family bit and he offered Phil a job...lol...like buses...none then they all come at once lol...so hubby put a holiday in for today and we've been over to see his old boss and get details on the jobs etc...this job is basically the same wages etc as Hilliards had offered him...but no company car...but rather than him being an hour away from home he'll only be 20 minutes...so where he's losing the company car...he's gaining with location...if he went with Hilliards he would be on the bottom of the pile...if he goes to work with his old boss...he'll go in at the supervisor level...and his old boss told him because he's already qualified for supervisor within a few months he may find they offer him an assistant job...which is even more money plus a company car...the only worry I have with this new offer...is...what if the blokes just telling him what he wants to hear to lure him away from his current job and he gets there and its the same thing...no chance of promotion just £4 an hour better off...its a tough one...I know my hubby in his heart has made his mind up he wants to go to his old boss but we have to discuss it because...once he leaves the company he's with...they probably won't take him back if things don't work out at the new place...whereas with Hilliards they're a well known company and have plenty of work on...and so long as he kept his nose clean he'd have a job...this new company...I haven't heard of them and neither has Phil...I think I need to do some homework and see what they're about before we make this decision...although his old boss isn't stupid he wouldn't have jumped ship if he wasn't sure...as he has 5 kids to feed and clothe...so I doubt he would make an uneducated decision...argh why am I more nervous Phil...lol
Anyway that me for today...I will post pix after this...have a fab day people.
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
View attachment 154283 - toast with lemon curd
View attachment 154284 - roast lamb dinner
View attachment 154285 - followed by grapes and yogurt
View attachment 154286 - steak, chips and mushrooms
- rolo cupcakes
- haribo sweets
- overnight oats
- chicken, ham and chorizo salad
View attachment 154284 - roast lamb dinner
View attachment 154285 - followed by grapes and yogurt
View attachment 154286 - steak, chips and mushrooms
- rolo cupcakes - haribo sweets - overnight oats - chicken, ham and chorizo salad
strawberry
Gold Member
Hey Jo, just catching up I love the look of the Rolo cupcakes, they look yummy Hope you are doing good
I love the look of the Rolo cupcakes, they look yummy Hope you are doing good
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
Hope everything is okay hun. I still havent made the sweets yet. Hopefully I will get the ingredients tomorrow. Lost 1.5 this week
Congratulations on your loss hun xx
Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
3pm
Afternoon guys,
Sorry I've been a bit quiet...remember I said I had a tummy ache? Well I ended up rolling around the bed in agony Tuesday night was in bed all day yesterday with it...then the **** hit the fan...
I'm sorry to be a downer but I find coming on here so therapeutic so scroll past the rant if you want but I am going to have a good rant.
So as I said I was in bed all day yesterday and hubby took day off work to look after Darcy...he took her to nursery at 8:30am and at 9am he found a reason to go to his dads...too ill to do anything about it I just waited...an hour and a half later he came home...I didn't notice anything and the day progressed and as it did I started to notice a difference in him...he'd been drinking...whilst looking after Darcy...anyway an argument ensued and like I said the **** hit the fan...and he walked out which is typical Phil behaviour when he's drinking he does it so he can go to his Dads where the drink is readily available to him.
However he stole my car keys in the process of walking out...and because I couldn't say with hand on heart that he wouldn't drive drunk I had to ring the police because had he done so and injured somebody in the process the cars in my name...he stole the keys to wind me up...he knew it would bother me...I asked him as soon as he walked out for the car keys as I'd suspected he'd nicked them and he told me they were in living room...they weren't...he ignored me and told me to **** off and die...so police got involved...they found him got my keys back etc...he then returned to the house after the police had dumped him and started kicking off refused to leave the house, I was soooooooo tired from the night before and still feeling absolutely rotten so I just let it go...then and I am embarrassed that I am telling you this...he got up and was sooooooooo drunk whilst still denying he'd drank at all that he couldn't find the bathroom and pissed all over my clothes basket that was full of clean clothes which just made me even more furious...anyway morning came and he was his typical pisshead self I love you darcy you're my princess I will never see you go without...while telling me he's taking all the money and the furniture if he leaves...then he's self pitying my daddy doesn't love me...all want is for him to say he's proud of me...seriously whats he got to be proud of? Then I had to take my mums dog to the vets for x-rays as she's got heart failure and I told Darcy to get dressed he said no she can stay with me...seriously? honestly you think I'm going to leave my child with a selfish, piss head like you...come on. I asked him to leave he refused I had no option but to go out cos the dog had to go to the vets...he was still here when I came back a huge row happened and I kicked him out and his stash must have run out because he went this time...telling me he was going to beat me up, trash my car, beat my dad and brother up and burn my dads car...and no one would ever know it was him because he knows people and he's only got to make a phone call...this child is almost 30...when is he going to grow up...looking at his 60 year old dad...it doesn't look like it will be anytime soon...telling me he's going to take Darcy off me and make sure she hates me etc...and it was my fault he was drinking even though I was in bed all day badly...work that out...well....I expected it with his mum dying but I thought we'd cracked it I thought these days were behind me and I did tell him the last time was the last time...and I mean it...I have been fighting this same battle for 5 years now and I'm exhausted...and Darcys at an age where she's noticing things and I don't want her to be raised with all this...and after 5 years...something snapped...finally that fear of how will I cope without him...as I'm financially dependant on him...the fear just went and although I realise its going to be hard for a while...the overall benefits outweigh that...I'm going to be a happier person...my daughter will never be around that drunken behaviour...I won't be constantly on edge worrying about whether he's going to be drunk when I get home...I get my car back...I don't have to worry about leaving him with his own child...it will just be best if we split up...so today I have been to the solicitors about getting an injunction against him as he's a nasty drunk and now we're not together he will be drinking constantly because I won't be there to stop him...he can't get to work because the cars mine...so his job will probably end very soon...and if by some miracle he finds a way to get to his job 40+ miles away each day then all the money he gets will go on drink...nothing to me for the bills we made together...nothing for Darcy...yet he will give me aggro about seeing Darcy...not happening...the solicitor has made me an appointment for tomorrow which is amazing because its usually 2 weeks and by the end of that 2 weeks I've calmed down and forgiven him so I'm taking it as a sign that its meant to be this time...also I just got an inheritance from my Nan who passed away in May I mean come on for timing...its like she's telling to leave and with the money giving me an opportunity to leave...it's just fate I suppose...anyway they couldn't give me a time frame on the injunction...and I may not be able to afford it...but they told me to go to police and speak with them so I did and they've opened a harassment case file...so now if he is verbally abusive through texts etc I ring them give them my crime number and they document it and if he comes to the house...I dial 999 obviously and they will attend immediately and again put it on the case file...which strengthens...everything...my injunction against him...my refusal to allow him to see Darcy...because as long as he's drinking he's going no where near her...it also means he is seen as a threat to both me and Darcy which means he's not allowed in the house even though its in his name also...because he is seen as a threat...and just to lighten this dull moment up...while talking to the police officer Darcy was with me as she's not very well and didn't go to school...the one day I could have done with her going to school lol...she had been sooo good we'd been talking to different people for 2 hours and she's been as good as gold...and she was under the table but not being naughty anyway midsentence...I just burst out laughing the copper looked at me like I wasn't right...I'd heard snoring...and we looked under the table and Darcy had fallen asleep bless her...lol...she's got a cold so the snoring is really loud and me and copper are just trying to keep a straight face and we're just laughing every time we hear the snore...lol...I love my child even on a day where all I want to do is cry...she makes me smile...
So tomorrow I am off to citizens advice about finances, then solicitors about injunction, then women's aid...who said they can get me my locks changed for free etc...and offer me some support which I don't usually take but I think this time I will so I can vent frustrations to someone other than my mum because its not fair on her bless her...
Hubby has been in touch...with me and my mum...I have ignored him and I have no intention of contacting him until he asks for his belongings then I will simply tell him he isn't stepping in the house; as he's trying to take things that aren't his...and if he has an issue with that then he can go to the solicitor and draw up a separation agreement if he refuses this then he gets nothing...there's no chance he's going to walk out on us...take his money...leave me with the debt we made together...and then expect me to give him tvs and furniture...I'm smarter than this...I made sure that things were bought on my store card...and that all bills were in joint names...but this is something I have to ask the CAB about because I don't know whether that means he's 50% liable for the bills? So I'll find out tomorrow...
On a *hopefully* lighter note...its weigh in tomorrow...I was on plan up till Tuesday then as I said ill Wednesday and today...relationship crap...so haven't eaten since Tuesday...I am not going to let this effect my SW...in fact it will give me more motivation to bump into him one day with a rocking body and make him regret ever leaving me...but as far as tomorrow is concerned I just couldn't care less...if there's a loss brilliant if there isn't I don't care...atm its just not a priority...
Anyway rant over...sorry guys I always seem to be miserable...hopefully I will be happier from this point on...
Also apologies for not being up to date with posts and replying to everyone...I will get there it will probably be Saturday afternoon now...but I will get around to speaking to you all...
Afternoon guys,
Sorry I've been a bit quiet...remember I said I had a tummy ache? Well I ended up rolling around the bed in agony Tuesday night was in bed all day yesterday with it...then the **** hit the fan...
I'm sorry to be a downer but I find coming on here so therapeutic so scroll past the rant if you want but I am going to have a good rant.
So as I said I was in bed all day yesterday and hubby took day off work to look after Darcy...he took her to nursery at 8:30am and at 9am he found a reason to go to his dads...too ill to do anything about it I just waited...an hour and a half later he came home...I didn't notice anything and the day progressed and as it did I started to notice a difference in him...he'd been drinking...whilst looking after Darcy...anyway an argument ensued and like I said the **** hit the fan...and he walked out which is typical Phil behaviour when he's drinking he does it so he can go to his Dads where the drink is readily available to him.
However he stole my car keys in the process of walking out...and because I couldn't say with hand on heart that he wouldn't drive drunk I had to ring the police because had he done so and injured somebody in the process the cars in my name...he stole the keys to wind me up...he knew it would bother me...I asked him as soon as he walked out for the car keys as I'd suspected he'd nicked them and he told me they were in living room...they weren't...he ignored me and told me to **** off and die...so police got involved...they found him got my keys back etc...he then returned to the house after the police had dumped him and started kicking off refused to leave the house, I was soooooooo tired from the night before and still feeling absolutely rotten so I just let it go...then and I am embarrassed that I am telling you this...he got up and was sooooooooo drunk whilst still denying he'd drank at all that he couldn't find the bathroom and pissed all over my clothes basket that was full of clean clothes which just made me even more furious...anyway morning came and he was his typical pisshead self I love you darcy you're my princess I will never see you go without...while telling me he's taking all the money and the furniture if he leaves...then he's self pitying my daddy doesn't love me...all want is for him to say he's proud of me...seriously whats he got to be proud of? Then I had to take my mums dog to the vets for x-rays as she's got heart failure and I told Darcy to get dressed he said no she can stay with me...seriously? honestly you think I'm going to leave my child with a selfish, piss head like you...come on. I asked him to leave he refused I had no option but to go out cos the dog had to go to the vets...he was still here when I came back a huge row happened and I kicked him out and his stash must have run out because he went this time...telling me he was going to beat me up, trash my car, beat my dad and brother up and burn my dads car...and no one would ever know it was him because he knows people and he's only got to make a phone call...this child is almost 30...when is he going to grow up...looking at his 60 year old dad...it doesn't look like it will be anytime soon...telling me he's going to take Darcy off me and make sure she hates me etc...and it was my fault he was drinking even though I was in bed all day badly...work that out...well....I expected it with his mum dying but I thought we'd cracked it I thought these days were behind me and I did tell him the last time was the last time...and I mean it...I have been fighting this same battle for 5 years now and I'm exhausted...and Darcys at an age where she's noticing things and I don't want her to be raised with all this...and after 5 years...something snapped...finally that fear of how will I cope without him...as I'm financially dependant on him...the fear just went and although I realise its going to be hard for a while...the overall benefits outweigh that...I'm going to be a happier person...my daughter will never be around that drunken behaviour...I won't be constantly on edge worrying about whether he's going to be drunk when I get home...I get my car back...I don't have to worry about leaving him with his own child...it will just be best if we split up...so today I have been to the solicitors about getting an injunction against him as he's a nasty drunk and now we're not together he will be drinking constantly because I won't be there to stop him...he can't get to work because the cars mine...so his job will probably end very soon...and if by some miracle he finds a way to get to his job 40+ miles away each day then all the money he gets will go on drink...nothing to me for the bills we made together...nothing for Darcy...yet he will give me aggro about seeing Darcy...not happening...the solicitor has made me an appointment for tomorrow which is amazing because its usually 2 weeks and by the end of that 2 weeks I've calmed down and forgiven him so I'm taking it as a sign that its meant to be this time...also I just got an inheritance from my Nan who passed away in May I mean come on for timing...its like she's telling to leave and with the money giving me an opportunity to leave...it's just fate I suppose...anyway they couldn't give me a time frame on the injunction...and I may not be able to afford it...but they told me to go to police and speak with them so I did and they've opened a harassment case file...so now if he is verbally abusive through texts etc I ring them give them my crime number and they document it and if he comes to the house...I dial 999 obviously and they will attend immediately and again put it on the case file...which strengthens...everything...my injunction against him...my refusal to allow him to see Darcy...because as long as he's drinking he's going no where near her...it also means he is seen as a threat to both me and Darcy which means he's not allowed in the house even though its in his name also...because he is seen as a threat...and just to lighten this dull moment up...while talking to the police officer Darcy was with me as she's not very well and didn't go to school...the one day I could have done with her going to school lol...she had been sooo good we'd been talking to different people for 2 hours and she's been as good as gold...and she was under the table but not being naughty anyway midsentence...I just burst out laughing the copper looked at me like I wasn't right...I'd heard snoring...and we looked under the table and Darcy had fallen asleep bless her...lol...she's got a cold so the snoring is really loud and me and copper are just trying to keep a straight face and we're just laughing every time we hear the snore...lol...I love my child even on a day where all I want to do is cry...she makes me smile...
So tomorrow I am off to citizens advice about finances, then solicitors about injunction, then women's aid...who said they can get me my locks changed for free etc...and offer me some support which I don't usually take but I think this time I will so I can vent frustrations to someone other than my mum because its not fair on her bless her...
Hubby has been in touch...with me and my mum...I have ignored him and I have no intention of contacting him until he asks for his belongings then I will simply tell him he isn't stepping in the house; as he's trying to take things that aren't his...and if he has an issue with that then he can go to the solicitor and draw up a separation agreement if he refuses this then he gets nothing...there's no chance he's going to walk out on us...take his money...leave me with the debt we made together...and then expect me to give him tvs and furniture...I'm smarter than this...I made sure that things were bought on my store card...and that all bills were in joint names...but this is something I have to ask the CAB about because I don't know whether that means he's 50% liable for the bills? So I'll find out tomorrow...
On a *hopefully* lighter note...its weigh in tomorrow...I was on plan up till Tuesday then as I said ill Wednesday and today...relationship crap...so haven't eaten since Tuesday...I am not going to let this effect my SW...in fact it will give me more motivation to bump into him one day with a rocking body and make him regret ever leaving me...but as far as tomorrow is concerned I just couldn't care less...if there's a loss brilliant if there isn't I don't care...atm its just not a priority...
Anyway rant over...sorry guys I always seem to be miserable...hopefully I will be happier from this point on...
Also apologies for not being up to date with posts and replying to everyone...I will get there it will probably be Saturday afternoon now...but I will get around to speaking to you all...
