Less to lose - less support

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by crimson_noir, 9 June 2009 Social URL.

  1. crimson_noir

    crimson_noir Full Member

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    I am really struggling at the moment I have lost all motivation and momentum. I have 3 other friends currently at classes to help them lose weight but they all have more to lose than I do. So when I am struggling I am not taken seriously. I am currently a tight 12 (and verging back in to the 14 as I am all bloated) but as I am short a 12 does not mean tiny as it would on my taller friends. Any way so why am I ranting at total strangers (lol) I just need so advice to get my dieting mo jo back I am disappointed that I can't ask my friends - advice I got on Sunday "but I really need to do this though" and no word of support. I feel bad that I can't boost myself but I don't seem to be able to do that. I still havn't got to my first stone and I am starting to slip back to gaining.
     
    Last edited: 9 June 2009
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  3. charlottegrace1

    charlottegrace1 Gold Member

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    BIG HUG SENT TO YOU.

    People can be sooo self centred sometimes and its all me me me. Of course you need support just the same as anyone trying to get to a goal. Try and think what has changed since you started to diet and had the motivation. Go back to day 1 and think what were your reasons to loose weight. Has that changed? Have you got something to look forward to in the near future that you want to look fabulous for? The motivation is within you just look hard. Go back to basics, write it all down and use this site to get the support you are looking for. Treat yourself to something realy nice to lift your spirits - maybe some clothes that you cann't quite get into but would love to wear. Leave them out in the bedroom and keep trying them on, they will fit beautifully before you know it. XXXXX
     
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  4. crimson_noir

    crimson_noir Full Member

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    Thank you :D. I think and this is really hard to admit but I have no motivation to lose weight not really. I wanted to look slimmer to be healthy and not feel so bad about myself compared to others. But as the saying goes losing weight doesn't change everything in your live just your pant size.I would rather comfort eat than be slim fairly simple - pretty silly though :(.
     
  5. Dramatic_Star

    Dramatic_Star Calorie Counter

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    It definatly is harder to motivate yourself when you don't have a huge amount to lose. I went through a patch of thinking 'is it worth it'? Followed by realising how far I had come & how the feelings of being slimmer completly outruled any negatives.

    I suppose you just have to do it for yourself. Think of why you started losing the weight & how important it is to meet your deadline. Just because you haven't got as much weight to loose as your friends does not mean you should get any less support, but sadly sometimes this happens.

    Good luck with the weight loss to go & well done for posting here & not giving up.

    xx
     
  6. mathswiz

    mathswiz Always Struggling...

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    Hi Crimson,

    I'm in the same place as you at the moment. :(

    I've managed to lose about 20 lbs but people are starting to tell me I look ok now and I've lost the motivation I had before. I would like to lose another stone.

    I'm sick of the shake diets so I might try to eat healthy and exercise more to get the last stone off.

    I guess because your friends have a lot more weight to lose than you, sometimes they can see your weight problem as less significant? Maybe they honestly think you look great and don't need to lose anymore weight? But it's up to you at the end of the day. Nobody knows how you feel on the inside. :)

    It doesn't matter if you want to lose 1 lb or 100 lbs, we are all in the same boat! We're all aiming for the same goal. :D
     
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  7. Scarlet Daisy

    Scarlet Daisy Hungry For Life

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    I've found that people are quick to undermine me, when I am on a diet.

    Sometimes I think they are genuinely concerned, because instead of seeing that I have taken control of my eating they interpret my weight loss as me becoming "anorexic" and they fear that I won't stop when I reach my target. Most people are wary of change and I suppose me being thinner looks odd to them.

    Other people are just jealous.

    You don't need other people's approval to inspire you to lose weight...Concentrate on becoming what you want to be yourself. If they have more to do than you, that is their problem.
     
  8. Purple_Star

    Purple_Star Silver Member

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    Hi

    I do think you need to learn to motivate to yourself. Its best not to rely on others, because then if they 'fall off the wagon' you need to be able to continue on yourself, if you know what I mean. As others said you need to refocus. Set a goal - for example to fit into a patricular pair of jeans. Also remind yourself how far you have come - try on your orginal clothes to see how loose they are. Your current clothes will soon be that loose too!

    As for the comfort eating, if you want to stop that then you need to figure out an alternative. Perhaps consider the health impact when eating too much unhealthy foods? Also find another comfort. Perhaps a phone call to a friend, a walk or just doing some housework will get rid of the craving. If stress is the problem, try all different sports or hobbies until you find something you love that relaxes you, hopeully that will take your mind off using food for comfort.

    As for your friends, make sure they understand how you feel about your body, and make it clear you would like their support, especially since you are supporting them.

    Good luck xx
     
  9. Georgiestar

    Georgiestar Silver Member

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    I totally agree with what the others have said on here, I was in the same position as you, I didnt have much support when I was living with my grandmother, the only thing I got was my grandmother saying "be careful what your eating" but on the other hand she was the one who was offering all the unhealthy food, it was only when I had to buy bigger size clothes that I did something about it, also I noticed that my stomache was getting bigger :p

    you just need to focus yourself to loose a few pounds but dont put yourself under too much pressure your only a few pounds away of getting a healthy bmi anyway, once you've done that its up to you weather you want to lose a little bit more weight.
     
  10. Iris

    Iris Full Member

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    If you're at a bit of a low ebb, maybe decide you'll focus on maintaining your weight right now. Sounds like you're worried about losing control and going on binges. If you can reassure yourself that you're in control of your weight and your relationship with food, then that may put you back into the right frame of mind for shifting more poundage.

    Learning to maintain is definitely as constructive as losing weight, if not moreso! Any practice you can get with stabilising your weight and having a sensible approach to food, is going to be a great help in the long run. So don't feel like a period of maintenance at your current weight would be a waste of time - far from it! As well as the emotional breathing space, you should see great results once you start actively trying to lose the weight again. Remember, every day you can make a choice whether to lose, gain or maintain. And a maintenance day isn't a wasted one!
     
  11. sandyk

    sandyk Member

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    Yeah I think giving yourself a bit of a break right now would be a good thing. If you're feeling a bit emotional and unsupported right now you could be precariously close to a binge ...I know I usually am when I'm feeling particularly low.
    Just focus on not going crazy with regards to comfort eating - allow yourself something but just not too much of something - while you reassess your goals and motivations. Give yourself a little time to build up the strength to dedicate to a healthy regime again.

    I'm in exactly the same boat as you as regards having less to lose and hence little or no support. I have a friend who has a bit more to lose, and if ever I mention my wanting to lose weight she just says 'oh you're fine, what are you worrying about?' And while she is complimenting me I guess, it ends up completely de-motivating me. I start to feel a bit superficial for even wanting to lose weight, if you know what I mean... But I honestly want to and have wanted for a loooong time to lose this stone, stone and a half, and that urge never goes away so I think it deserves to be addressed..

    Starting to waffle now, but I think you get my drift! :p
     
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