LL Counselling - any good?

[vanda]

Hi all,
Am struggling to find a plan I can stick to as have totally lost the plot when it comes to food. Once I start eating don't seem to be able to stop, so I thought total meal replacement would be the way to go, as I find myself very stressed around food at the mo.

I was wondering if the counselling provided by LL is worth paying the extra for, cos there are other systems that are cheaper. Any info on what the sessions are like and if they are worth it would be much appreciated.

 

[Minerva]

Yes, yes and ... well. Yes! But you really do have to do the exercises, or at least give them lots of thought, and actually TRY to change. No one will do it FOR you, YOU have to realise that the only person who will ever do anything for you is yourself. There are no excuses in regards to own behaviour, no one MADE you eat the whole chocolate cake, only you chose to do it in a moment of weakness.
It's been a long year and a half for me to come to these realisations, I always used to blame someone, something else.
And don't get me wrong, I STILL get moments when I start to binge, but the difference is, that when I feel weak I WANT to reach for more. I stop for a moment, and apply the CHOICE THEORY. I give myself the choice (rather than helplessly, guiltily looking for reasons WHY Oh WHY am I doing this, Why oh Why can't I stop?!) ... NO. I objectively look at myself. I look at what I'm holding. I ask myself the question: Do I choose to keep going, or Do I choose to save the rest for later? ... Then I think about it.. This would probably be best if saved for later because dinner time is soon. I put it down. (or if I can't - I THROW it at the bin and run away! No one's perfect). I walk out of the room, and while I do feel a little bit hungry, a little annoyed that I told myself to stop, within about 10 minutes everything is good, and I feel good that I gained my ground and stopped.
However of course!! There are times when I choose to keep going. But in making that CHOICE - I tell myself, I ALLOW myself to have this. I Allow myself the luxury of this binge, there is obviously something beyond my sphere of understanding (probably biological) that is making this happen. When this is over I will reassess and learn from this experience.

... Sorry. Long rant... But ... yes. These self-truths NEED to be learnt the long and hard way (Abstinence and proper Route to Management, then re-affirming lessons through LLLite programme really made me think much more clearly). The counselling did help - but it really is all down to you to make it work. I have seen too many people fail, seen too many not learn what they need to. But there are some very inspirational people on this board, that have made me see that it is very possible to change the way of thought.


I'd say give it a go, it doesn't hurt!

 

[Isis]

Yes, yes and ... well. Yes! But you really do have to do the exercises, or at least give them lots of thought, and actually TRY to change. No one will do it FOR you, YOU have to realise that the only person who will ever do anything for you is yourself. There are no excuses in regards to own behaviour, no one MADE you eat the whole chocolate cake, only you chose to do it in a moment of weakness.
It's been a long year and a half for me to come to these realisations, I always used to blame someone, something else.
And don't get me wrong, I STILL get moments when I start to binge, but the difference is, that when I feel weak I WANT to reach for more. I stop for a moment, and apply the CHOICE THEORY. I give myself the choice (rather than helplessly, guiltily looking for reasons WHY Oh WHY am I doing this, Why oh Why can't I stop?!) ... NO. I objectively look at myself. I look at what I'm holding. I ask myself the question: Do I choose to keep going, or Do I choose to save the rest for later? ... Then I think about it.. This would probably be best if saved for later because dinner time is soon. I put it down. (or if I can't - I THROW it at the bin and run away! No one's perfect). I walk out of the room, and while I do feel a little bit hungry, a little annoyed that I told myself to stop, within about 10 minutes everything is good, and I feel good that I gained my ground and stopped.
However of course!! There are times when I choose to keep going. But in making that CHOICE - I tell myself, I ALLOW myself to have this. I Allow myself the luxury of this binge, there is obviously something beyond my sphere of understanding (probably biological) that is making this happen. When this is over I will reassess and learn from this experience.

... Sorry. Long rant... But ... yes. These self-truths NEED to be learnt the long and hard way (Abstinence and proper Route to Management, then re-affirming lessons through LLLite programme really made me think much more clearly). The counselling did help - but it really is all down to you to make it work. I have seen too many people fail, seen too many not learn what they need to. But there are some very inspirational people on this board, that have made me see that it is very possible to change the way of thought.


I'd say give it a go, it doesn't hurt!

Brilliant post Minerva!!!

 

[daisydoll]

one word .....

yes

daisy x

 

[pete10141748]

Excellent post Minerva!
I agree, the couselling is only equal to how much you are willing to embrace it, how much you want to change and how much hard work you are prepared to do.

It does work, but you have to make it work; it's not hypnosis, you won't come out of a session and suddenly just *be* different, it takes time and daily effort!

 

[loula]

I agree that the counselling is crucial. I am nearly 3 weeks in and in the few sessions I have had so far, I can confidently say that they have helped me hugely in thinking about the way i act about food. The regular posters on this forum are amazing too and very inspriational (like Minerva and blonde logic to name a couple!) and i've often printed out bits that have been posted to keep my mind ticking. I don't believe that a lifetime of overeating and destructive eating can be solved just by losing a few pounds (or stone) - we need to look at the reasons why and understand our coping strategies and emotional responses more. Just my thoughts xx

 

[Blonde Logic]

Have you ever tried and failed before to lose weight?

Do you eat for all the wrong reasons?

Are you depressed and does it feel hopeless?

Do you long to be slim, but never get there?

If you answered yes, to any of these questions, then yes, the counseling is worth it.

It has changed my life. Forever.

Good luck to you!!

xx

 

[jcjazzy]

Whilst i agree with the others that LL is life changing and you require to put a lot of work in, I think it is also fair to say the counselling is variable.This may be a controversial viewpoint but I have got far more insight into my behaviour by working through the book myself,getting support here and reading beyond the subject than I ever have with my LLC or group .Just my opinion mind!

 

[Blonde Logic]

No, tru - that is a very very good point Jazzy. SB and I were lucky - our LLC was long before an LLC Counselor she was a counselor who sepcialised in eating disorders - so sh ei really clued up.

Most are pretty good - but we certainly here of some useless ones here which is a shame. I suppose at least you get the benefit of having CBT explained to you, the premise and then as you say you can do the work yourself - though kinda defeats the 66 squid a week.

 

[lucylastic]

Whilst i agree with the others that LL is life changing and you require to put a lot of work in, I think it is also fair to say the counselling is variable.This may be a controversial viewpoint but I have got far more insight into my behaviour by working through the book myself,getting support here and reading beyond the subject than I ever have with my LLC or group .Just my opinion mind!

Yep, same for me too - but I don't really begrudge LL that to be honest, LLC's are human too, and will interact better with some than others, the group dynamic also plays a massive part in the success of the sessions etc etc. I think it's luck of the draw with the LLC's, however even if you don't have a great one, if you still use the tools provided, and suplement that learning with the advice on here, and in my case finding other tools (CBT books etc) I still think it's an excellent programme.

 

[Minerva]

To be honest, a lot of my journey I had to do on my own, usually for the lack of a suitable group I could join. My LLC was lovely, but she never seems to have the confidence to fully explore the issues she's reading off a piece of paper.
If you want to find the reasons and explore the issues... You will. The person who really inspired me on this board to dig far deeper has been KD, she's amazing in her train of thought, and while she did CD instead of LL - she's kept it all off for more than three years.
It really does take being strict with yourself, and almost treating yourself as a 5yr old. Your 5yr old inside will scream and shout, will rebel every hour of the day - that child never grows up. We need to learn how to be a good nurturing parent but also have very high levels of discipline towards it too. After all... if there is no discipline, he will very quickly learn your weak spots and become a monster pushing for more. You know the feeling. ... 'one more won't hurt' ... yes it will...!

 

[Foxtrot]

You're head has got to be in the right place to do this. You have got to want to explore yourself and beat yourself and admit things and if you are not ready, the cost is not going to matter a jot.

(BL, You are standing the a bath lovey.)

 

[Blonde Logic]

(BL, You are standing the a bath lovey.)

LOL - I know, I know. Really - I do not have some strange fetish about taking pics in loos, or in strange places. I am just extremely mirror challenged since leaving my job at Norwich Union!!

Surely I get some points for improvisation!!

xx

 

[vanda]

Thanks all for your help. Have decided to go for the info session and take it from there. I feel like the only way I will gain some understanding of why I carry on eating this way is to take away the pressure of food for a while. Am sort of looking forward to the hard work in a warped way!
I met someone in work today who had only good words to say about ll and her llc is the one I will be going to so hopefully all will be well. she has has a great weight loss and admits the hard work continues with trying to keep it off. Will let you kknow how I get on after I speak to the llc.
Many thanks

 

[jcjazzy]

Glad to hear you are seriously considering it and have a good LLC to go to.That does make all the difference,but the main person is YOU and if you commit to it you will lose weight,and so change your life .Good luck x

 

[X~Libby~X]

I must admit, when I chose to start LL, I did see it as a way to get slim fast. I didn't think I had issues with food and thought the counselling was going to be completely irrelevant but something I would have to endure. Oh how wrong I was! I have learned so much about myself in these past 8 weeks. Every week something is mentioned and I think 'Yes I do that!' or 'Yes that's me!'. The counselling has taught me things that are going to be invaluable to me continuing on the program and maintaining when I have finished.

x