Making choices

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by KD, 18 July 2007 Social URL.

  1. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    Coming back from work today I got in the car and immediately thought “I could go home and have a big feast to celebrate!”

    Now, that is an improvement on my former self, as I wouldn’t have even thought about it…just got on and had one if I had been pleased with managing a target.:eek:

    I thought about it driving home. I could have one. I have no restrictions on my way of eating anyway. I’ve allowed myself to have one since reaching goal before. The question in my mind was should I have one just because I’m pleased with myself? It was nothing to do with whether I needed one, or whether I really wanted one. Just an automatated response. Need to celebrate = eat too much.

    Eating my feast is unimportant, but I must question my motives for doing so and think about the consequences.

    Now the choice is different. It’s not a case of whether I want a feast or not, but whether I want to reinforce old habits, go back into my old mindset, even for just a morning. I am free to make the choice. I know that I will probably automatically cut back for the rest of the day, so the weight isn’t an issue.

    It’s easy to make a good choice now I see what happens. There was nothing about having an eating disorder that I would ever want to reinforce (when I’m in sane mode anyway:p).

    So do I still want my feast? My huge fried lunch. Yep:D Am I going to distract myself so I don’t succumb? NO!! Definitely not. I going to allow myself to want to eat for the wrong reasons. Doesn’t mean I have to actually have it….just acknowledge the desire.. I can face the demons without giving into them and in doing so it will make me stronger and reinforce my confidence that there is nothing to fear.

    I can sympathise with it, but I don’t have to act on its words.

    Was going to put this into the maintenance section, but thought that it might help anyone who fights with their demons.
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  3. silhouettes

    silhouettes Silver Member

    that was really helpful and definitely a mind set i have. reaching a goal = lots of food. Something hopefully LL will help me combat.
    thanks for posting
  4. lou-lou

    lou-lou Full Member

    That is exactly how I am. Any celebrations are always dominated by food. If I have good news...get a chinese takeaway. Birthday...meal out. Anniversary....quiet night in with a pizza!

    Thanks for a great post.

    Love Lou xxx
  5. missymoo

    missymoo Fed up of being fat

    Same here, celebrations = meals / take aways.

    Have also realised that family time in our house revolves around food quite a bit too ... another habit we have to change. We do a lot as a family that isnt food orientated but the weekend rituals / habits are usually take aways Friday or Sat evening, pub lunch Sat or Sun, treats while out and about ... and we always ordered more to eat than really needed, we just liked indulging I guess in the wrong thing!!
  6. Linda5111

    Linda5111 I can do this.

    slim and save
    yep... me too.. food is the answer to everything, guess things have got to change.
  7. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

    Healthy eating/Food diary
    Now thats where i differ, I don;t just have food to celebrate almost anything, oh no ....... I have lots of wine too!!!!!

    Could this be where I am going wrong?

    Yours chubbily!
  8. Mochaj

    Mochaj Gold Member

    Thanks for posting that!
  9. paula 36

    paula 36 Gold Member

    Food scares me im exactly the same.Today a bit of sun means a takeaway and a gin and tonic.Ive heard some bad news about a couple of people troday being ill,so automatically my mind says"life's to short to do this poxy diet".Does anyone know if that mind set ever changes?xx
  10. JulesE

    JulesE Full Member

    Start Weight:
    Current Weight:
    Goal Weight:
    Pre-Op...Gastric Banding
    Wise words as usual Mrs :)
    Exactly like me too - ANY mood/emotion has been an excuse to eat: happy, sad, celebration, depression etc.

    Thanks for posting this
  11. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    But there's nothing wrong with indulging, just that we always associate indulging with food:rolleyes: Our culture and childhood has imprinted it on our brains. Each time we do it, we reinforce that association.

    I don't know whether you have children, but I love the fact you have rituals. They are so important in a family. It gives children security and a sense of identity. We just need to make them good traditions :)

    It may be hard for us to cure ourselves of our associations, but if any of you have small children (hear me Jules, build up:D) these traditions and rituals without food, or with good foods.

    For example: Christmas was a happy time (usually:rolleyes:) We had lots of rich high calorific food. When I was small, it probably wouldn't have meant anything, but in the end the two go together. Rich food didn't necessarily remind me of Christmas, but there was a subconscious association that rich food would make me feel good as I had remembered good times when eating such foods.

    Know what I mean?

    The foods didn't necessarily make me feel good any more, but I was in the habit of putting them together.

    So what if I had some really wonderful times with the family that where we were allowed to indulge in some exotic fruits. Not just "here's some", but a fruit party, with friends and family...lots of joy and fun.

    Perhaps if that was done at various times, my associations could have been a whole lot different and I may never have had a problem in the first place. Maybe?
    spooky likes this.
  12. spooky

    spooky Banned

    Fabulous posts, Karion.
    Makes us realise that its not a necessity to eat, except for our basic nutritional requirements, but the desire over rides our 'sense' chip and we stop listening to our bodies which = gaining weight.
    Fine balancing act! I hope to make the right choices from here on in, I got into a size 12 today, for the first time since before my first child 5 years ago. I need that in my mind when reaching for the fridge:D
  13. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    It is! The trouble is we hear so many phrases banded around. Make sensible choices, don't deprive yourself etc. It gets so confusing.

    We know that if we chose a pizza over something healthier, we aren't going to suddenly put back on all the weight, or have a heart attack with the extra load of cholestral.

    I often thought it would be much better if that threat was there. I knew that I could eat millions of mars bars before I put on 8 stone!

    I also knew that as an addict, I could delude myself with all sorts of excuses to justify why I should eat this or that.

    It's so hard to work out what is real and what isn't.

    I get little lightbulb moments every now and again, then I get a huge great big flash:D

    My last big one was working out that I could eat anything I wanted, but I needed to be sure whether I was feeding my body or my addiction.

    Another one was to completely and wholeheartedly embrace the demons, and the desires to eat for totally the wrong reason. Not to distract myself from it, but to realise it for what it was. A desire. It's only when I act in a negative way to this desire do I have a problem.

    Having the desire is actually good. Keeps me on my toes and gives me another opportunity to practice the right thing, thus weakening the addiction:)

    That's brill. Bet you're over the moon:cool:
  14. spooky

    spooky Banned

    I have had my ups and downs while ss'ing on this diet. I often find myself in front of the fridge/cupboard and I have to ask myself, am I hungry or not? Do I need this?
    Strange really. I used to buy alot of food when I was out of the house, nip to the bakers, go to a cafe and have a coffee and a scone, but now I only ever look in my fridge. My addiction to eating in other 'hidden' places where food consumption is not heeded nor noticed seems to be over. I used to eat out of the house to disguise exactly how much I was eating. The theory being if I didn;t have it out of the fridge then it didn;t count and therefore wouldn't make me fat!
  15. paula 36

    paula 36 Gold Member

    Spooky well done on the jeans.Karen your posts are fabxx:)
  16. carebear1

    carebear1 Full Member

    Start Weight:
    Current Weight:
    Goal Weight:
    Celeb slim
    Great post karen and sooo true! I was thinking when i finish this diet i'd celebrate with a nice big meal but i think i'll get my self a new outfit instead. Food no longer = treat for doing somthing good from now on for me.
  17. missymoo

    missymoo Fed up of being fat

    Karion I think you should become my therapist .. please!! lol

    Your posts are ace, so correct and hits the nail on the head of all the things happening (that I cant see for myself) ...... and until now Ive not realised about the whole indulging in food / Christmas etc.

    Yes I have kids, two wonderful cherubs. But Im now imprinting the association of food into their minds aswell ... which is stopping. We have lots of fun together .... but we tend to just finish off the day / evening with food!! Im preparing to scrub that imprint / habit away and replace mine and my kids with a whole new one!!
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  19. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    I hope they are. I thought mine was...but it sort of sneaked back in. Found I was even hiding healthy foods away:confused: Binging on melon in secret:confused::eek::confused:

    How weird is that. Seems like I sorted out the healthy bit before I sorted out the habit side:rolleyes:
    I always made my son a fruit salad mid evening, and as soon as he was old enough to help (about 2 I think:rolleyes:), we did it together. It's a ritual of ours. I didn't used to eat it with him as mine would have had to have a load of cream, but we made it together and it was always a good moment to catch up on his day, albeit in the kitchen tackling a pineapple between us.

    He's 15 now and we still do it. I never put anything on it for him. Never have done and he's never asked.

    It's only just occured to me that this could be a ritual he passes on to his kids. That would be cool. Even better if he equates eating fruit with happy times together.
  20. Ruthlet

    Ruthlet Wants to be a loser!

    I really can relate to your comments above. I was amazed when I started this diet that mental/emotional hunger was so powerful and almost indistinguishable from physical hunger - I often wonder whether my emotional hunger had actually grown to be more powerful than the real thing :eek:

    I am find now that I can tell the difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger and I hope that this is something that I can put to good use when I am at goal and trying to maintain.

    When I first researched CD I saw it as a way to almost reset my relationship with food and begin again. I think SS has put me on the right path with regards to helping me understand the reasons why I have managed to put on so much weight over the years and what kinds of things I can do to try and break this cycle once and for all.

    Will I succeed??????????? Watch this space!
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