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New here. Put on soo much weight it's disgusting :(

I feel so disgusted with myself. I was always the chubby kid, then got faaatt. Then I got thin but curvy, I was a pretty perfect weight although I still saw myself as obese, I only realised I had been thin after I started puting the weight back on again. That was ages ago though. I've been puting on tonnes of weight since then. In the last few years I've put on 5 stone. I'm only 18! I honestly feel like people don't want to be friends with someone who's fat, like I'm suddenly not cool or something. I see myself in reflections of shop windows, and just feel so... downhearted. Like I don't know how i've let myself get to here. I have a boyfriend, who is really good looking. It depresses me because I don't understand why he's with me and just feel like i'm constantly letting him down. I want to get past these feelings but it's just not going to happen. Being fat is honestly ruining my life. I'm so insecure I can barely have fun anymore.
I don't want to be one of those fat people that goes out to clubs with their friends and hides under baggy clothes, but if I wear tighter clothes, I feel like people all stare, like they think i'm trying too hard and I should just leave.

I just weighed myself and the scales tell me i'm 17 stone. At 5'6" that's appalling, especially for someone my age. I try to eat healthily, and it lasts for about a week before I just get so pissed off at my boyfriend and everyone in the bloody world who eats more than me, and worse than me, and yet they're so much thinner.

I hate going to the gym, I like working out, but people stare, and then there's trying to find clothes that don't make me look like a big sweaty sack of potatoes.

I recently started needing a size 20. Now I can't even get clothes in New Looks normal range. I've resorted to buying online unless it's pants from primark.

I just really need help and support, motivation from people going through the same things and emotions. Thin people just do not understand, they get to eat when they're hungry..

Sorry for the big intro, and by the way, my name is Rachel, I'm studying Zoology at university, hoping to do Vet Med afterwards. Something tells me that bit should have been at the start lol!

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Hiii! You're the only one who responded to my post :(

That's a great uni course hope you do well! You in first or second year? I'm having to repeat first year, had to withdraw last year and came back again.

Lol thanks. I don't know I just started today.. Not eaten yet which is bad news but there's no food in the house, mum is in Tenerife lol!

Got exams tomorrow and public transport is at a standstill. No idea what i'm going to do :(

How's your dieting going then?? What's your current weight/goals etc?

Hi I've replied,
I've always been on the chunky side but recently got diagnosed with polycystic ovaries so i'm need to loose weight, also i'm wanting to do my nursing so i need to be able to run around wth the rest of them! I'm 21 and i like to think i'm cool ;) big girls are fun and dont let anybody tell you different, I don't want to be mega 'slim' i just want to lose about 3 stone, i used to be slim but I looked ill! haha. Hows your weight loss going? I've managed 9lb so far thats about it. Wishing you all the best! x x


Silver Member
I've replied tooooo! Welcome to the site, it's great! I've been here a week and am loving it. Don't be down on yourself, positive thinking is the way forward. I know that's easier said than done, but you're going to get so much help and support on here. I've got 5 stone to lose so have a long journey ahead of me, but lost 3lbs in my first week. I'm trying to stay focused and can see myself using this forum a lot. It's been great so far!

Good luck :)
hi from me as well and don't be so hard on urself. i know where ur coming from i used to weigh 16 1/2 stone i got to the stage where i didn't want to go out i was always miserable wishing that i could eat "normally" i didn't know the meaning of the word i could binge for england i managed to lose 2 1/2 st which took me to 14 1/2 st i still felt uncomfortable so came on here and started following slimming world and its the best thing i could have done i have lost over a stone since being on here and feel so much better i still need to lose another 2 stone but know with the help of my friends on here i can do it, read a few of the diaries on here there are some inspirational stories a lot of people have lost 5 or more stone if they can do it so can you. good luck hun xx

Aww I'm sorry, my friend has endo... She's getting an operation this week I think. Nursing! That's fantastic.

9lbs is brilliant, I hope I can lose about a stone before my 19th next month. I've only just started so no news yet. I'll update weight in a few days knowing me lol!

I've got about 6 stone to lose. Hopefully the majority of that will be gone by May/June because I'm getting a puppy around then :)

What diet is it you're on Bella? xx
Thanks everyone!! I had some cereal. Don't know what else to have though. I suppose I could make some pasta. But there's nothing to put in it...

I'm defo going to read lots of diaries. I might start writing one tomorrow once we have real food in lol xxx


Silver Member
I'm doing Slimming World. Have done it before (!) and am following it at home this time. I have a very different approach to my diet journey this time and am sticking to "slow and steady wins the race" as I'm very much a rushed dieter in that I start and the next week want to be at my target weight which is probably why I always fall at the first hurdle. So this time it's baby steps!

You said you hate going to the gym because people stare..well don't think like that because everyone's there for the same reason so next time they stare just smile back..or stick your tounge out at them!!!

What exercise do you like doing? I really want to try Zumba and Street Dancing. I do Legs, bums and tums and sometimes a bit of salsa is incorporated. I love it! :) I wouldn't say I'm a good dancer but have been told Ive got rhythm so I cant be that bad, ay!! lol :)
I've got 2 puppies which keep me busy and and active so you'll defo be kept on your toes with a puppy round the house. Don't beat yourself up too much about losing weight and im trying not to lose too much too quick, want it to come off as natural as possible, have you thought about joining slimming world or weight watchers? Its easy to follow and you get advice from your group leader, mine is lovely.
My Sister in law swears by Zumba! 've got 2 left feet so im not even going to attempt it, i usually go swimming as often as i can. oing wednesday. I was really paranoid about going to start with, having people looking at me wearing nothing much but I went and noone actually gives a damn! :) X
My Sister in law swears by Zumba! 've got 2 left feet so im not even going to attempt it, i usually go swimming as often as i can. oing wednesday. I was really paranoid about going to start with, having people looking at me wearing nothing much but I went and noone actually gives a damn! :) X
Yeah, I was the same to begin with about worrying people are staring, but once you get over that, it's great. You're doing this for you and nobody else so why let others bring you down or make you paranoid. ;)
Don't you waste your time worrying what people think. You sound like a clever fun loving girl who's got a gorgeous man that thinks the same. If your losing weight for other people you won't do it, but if it's you that wants it it is achievable. I've lost almost 4 stone doing weight watchers discovery plan...was size 20/22 now I'm in 14/16. I still got a couple of stone to go but I'll do it and so will you. Do eat by the way... Lol. Baked beans are always lurking in the cupboard.....good luck....xx
Beans! that's a plan! Ohhh actually we might have a tin of vege soup from lidl. full of "stuff" (as mum likes to call it lol) but only 130 cals. High in salt too, but I hate salt and don't put it on anything so should be okay.

I'm really really self conscious, I always feel like people are looking at me. Sometimes I'll be sitting on the subway and just think the whole word is playing a big joke on me.

I love swimming, I can't run atm, my joints are a big problem, I know a personal trainer and him and his business partner took a look at me. Made me stand normally and lay down on a massage table thing. Checked all my posture and the way i bend and stuff lol this sounds dead kinky. Basically my pelvis is tilted forward and i'm quad dominant, which pulls everything forward. My muscles are uneven pulling my shoulders up and forward. Essentially he told me not to run because it would only make it all worse.

Zumba looks really fun, but i'm far too self conscious to dance in front of people. It takes a lot of drink to get me on the dancefloor when out lol!

I really really wish I could get down to under 15 stone by valentines day. When I met my bf I was 14 st 5 and looked quite a bit better then. I looked fat but didn't look quite so obese as I do now.

Hmm I'm going to go find food!

Heya, how i can relate soo much with you, particularly on the gym thats why i stopped going and now i workout using a dvd and walking....

The hardest step is starting the journey so ur half way there already and i have a feeling you will go reach ur goals and i can see soo much support on here for you already...good luck :)
Hi Rachel

I read your post and you're so hard on yourself. You remind me of myself. I was exactly the same until I decided that enough was enough and that I was going to lose all this blasted weight once and for all.
Just keep telling yourself that you will do it and you will...

There are some really inspirational threads on here so have a look and you won't feel alone;)

Best of luck hun

To be honest you won't need to go to class.... I've learnt more from Internet sites than my ww leaders ever taught me....I would recommend the weight watchers discovery plan tho.... They've brought in a new plan called pro points but I'm sticking with the old.... You'd get the discovery books cheap on eBay I'm sure and the rest you can just google.....xxx. By the way I don't do any exercise classes so don't stress about not jogging a mile before breakfast. Knowing the right changes to make to your diet can be all you need to do to make a steady difference... Honestly , you will do it..... Xxxx
Exactly :) I go in now strutting my stuff haha, i'm slowly realising that i really couldnt give a damn. haha. You been to zumba? or are you just thinking about it?xx
No haven't been to Zumba but really want to give it a go because it looks like something I'd really enjoy. I get bored quite easilly at the gym so need to keep motivated and dancing is always something that seems to catch my eye. I've been looking around and there are a few places near me that do it so think i'll give it a go! :eek:
Hey honey - im sorry to hear about your dilemma.
If you find yourself getting hungry maybe a slimming world type diet would be good - where there are unlimited foods. I did slimming world but kept losing and gaining the same 4lbs - having since done low carb diets ive realised my body just doesnt like carbs!
atkins is also fab as lots of food are unlimited - the only things you count are carbs in veg basically.
have a look round the various diets and best of luck xxxxxx

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