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Not Drinking is Getting me Down

#1
Hi all,

Just wondered if any of you had problems with this? I'm 24 and all my friends like going out and getting pretty drunk. I'm normally not a big drinker but I do have a few and get merry on these nights out normally. Anyway, last weekend we went out and was obviously drinking water. I felt left out all night and (probably paranoid...but hell being over-weight contributes to low self-esteem!) also felt like they liked me a lot less because I wasn't the massive personality I usually am when I've had a few. My sister was out with us and they keep mentioning how great she is. Feel like they don't like me as much now and they have been funny with me ever since. I'm not imagining it because they weren't even going to ask me out with them tomorrow night, it was only because I asked if they were out that they felt they had to eventually say you can come 'if you fancy it'. I know I have been quieter than normal and probably a little moody at times because I'm not eating but when I'm with them I have tried to be more upbeat. It's clearly gone un-noticed. I haven't known them that long so I feel like it could cause massive problems and I'm meant to be going on holiday with them this year (it's not booked yet). I would give up nights out before I gave up this diet but my sister wants to go out all the time as she is newly single and they are much more fun than me at the moment so it's good to go with them. Just feel unloved :( sorry to moan guys! x
 
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#2
:( :(
 

Coley

Re-starter
#3
I'm sorry hun!! I haven't replied cause I just don't get it!!

I'm 21 and a student and used to go out majorly...but it just doesn't bother me....I still go out, just don't drink.:rolleyes:

I do think the people don't think I'm much fun thing is in your head though.....

Sorry....not much use!!:(

xx
 
#4
No that's probably right, maybe I get it in my head and then I'm quiet so it just goes round and round. Do you not get people saying "go on, just have a drink and let your hair down"? My sis really wanted me to drink Sat. I know it sounds odd but it's almost like people round here persume you're a boring sod if you don't drink! x
 
#5
Hi Em,
I know how you feel! I have had the odd glass of wine and beer, but am no way drinking myself under the table the way I used to! It has affected my social life a little, but I am trying to find other things to do with my mates. I am prob a bit older than you however, and I DO remember the heady days of my 20s when going for a night out meant getting wankered and lovin it!
I suppose you have to look at the benefits of staying on the plan- not a "life long" way of eating but a great way to get you to target as soon as poss. Imagine how confident you will feel going out for the night looking like a million dollars! The quickest way of getting there is to lay off the heavy nights. Anyway, doesn't vodka and tonic look a bit like water?? No one needs to know you arent drinking!;)
Another advantage of losing weight................you will spend a hell of a lot less getting a bit merry. I had a glass of wine last weekend and had to lie down for half an hour!!!!
 

Coley

Re-starter
#6
ask for water in a small glass......its vodka and lemonade don't you know??!!!

Maybe just pretending you're having a great time will help? then you might actually have a good time. Kinda like when you're faking smiling and eventually you feel kinda happier.....:eek:
 

Mich

Taking Back Control...!!!
#7
If they are true friends hun they will love you drunk (merry) or sober.... you surely can't be that different when merry? If it's really bothering you just say that it won't be forever but for now you prefer not to drink..... when I did LL last year I just used to offer to drive and drink water - was such a cheap date....lol - you will also find that as you loose the weight your confidence will grow and you won't need a drink to make you confident (hope I haven't overstepped the mark here - it's just when I was at my biggest - and also at the mo cos I've gained quite alot back....:eek: I found the drink gave me the confidence to go out and enjoy myself - but when I was 6 stone down last summer I really didn't need a drink to enjoy myself).....

If they are true friends hunny they will understand - and you know it's sooooooo much better waking up with a clear head....;)

Go out and drink your water and be proud of what you are achieving with your weight loss......
 
#8
Thanks guys! I feel better now, I'll just be enthusiastic rather than worrying all the time! I guess it's that whole thing that everyone is your best mate when you're drunk and I don't feel part of it :p But I'll go out and let my hair down with my water AND it most certainly will be worth it when I have lost weight!x
 
#9
Mich, you hit the nail on the head. I am reasonably confident in general but I'm at my most confident with a drink in hand! Plus I can kind of see why I needed confidence to go and go mad dancing etc! I am driving but they still all moan, even though I'm driving them around cheeky bints! Right, I'm even more determined now! x
 

Mich

Taking Back Control...!!!
#10
Mich, you hit the nail on the head. I am reasonably confident in general but I'm at my most confident with a drink in hand! Plus I can kind of see why I needed confidence to go and go mad dancing etc! I am driving but they still all moan, even though I'm driving them around cheeky bints! Right, I'm even more determined now! x

Me thinks the cheeky bints need a slappsy....LOLOLOL - how rude - bet they ain't moaning at the end of the night when your ferrying them all home.....:mad: :rolleyes: - wouldn't if be funny if you came out of last pub and just said - OK guys you've been 'orrible to me all night cos I'm not drinking but I don't care cos I've got me cozy car to go straight home in - hope the taxi queue ain't too long.....LMAO......:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Might make them think twice before being mean..... unless could any of them also be a tad jealous too that you are doing something about loosing weight? Do any of them feel threatened do you think? Just a thought.....

Stick with it hun - it is so worth it...... honest - even though I've lapsed it is such a great feeling when the weight starts melting away......:D
 
#11
Yeah how rude! Hehe might just try that! "Bye girls!" Hehe! It's funny how people do become jealous, one of them def isn't massively impressed. I don't talk about it really but she decides to tell random people that I'm on a diet where I don't eat blah blah then the randoms take it upon themselves to tell me how dangerous it is. Ignorance is clearly bliss...for them. I think this one is used to being the centre of attention with men and doesn't want it to change, how I will laugh when it does mwhahaha! Lol x
 

Mich

Taking Back Control...!!!
#12
Yeah how rude! Hehe might just try that! "Bye girls!" Hehe! It's funny how people do become jealous, one of them def isn't massively impressed. I don't talk about it really but she decides to tell random people that I'm on a diet where I don't eat blah blah then the randoms take it upon themselves to tell me how dangerous it is. Ignorance is clearly bliss...for them. I think this one is used to being the centre of attention with men and doesn't want it to change, how I will laugh when it does mwhahaha! Lol x

Mwaahahahaha - me thinks she is jealous....!! don't you stress it's her 'stuff' if she can't cope with the thought of a bit of healthy competition....LOL!!
 
#13
Drinking obsession

I think your guys (in the UK) obsession with alcohol is really very un-healthy. Drinking alcohol is so bad for you, once you get used to not having any you'll probably find that you have a great personality anyway. People who urge you to just have one just feel threatened because they're afraid that with you sober you will realise how silly they are!!! Try to give up drinking forever, it's so much nicer hanging out with a clear head, dancing and just having fun then waking up without a hangover. The UK drink culture is really very sad. Once you've lost all your weight and you are looking gorgeous, treat yourself some funky non-alcoholic cocktails and see how nice that feels:)
 
#14
Em-Butterfly
Your mates are probably worried that this diet might actually WORK and that you will become so slim and gorgeous all the blokes will be looking at YOU not at them!
You show 'em, gal!
 


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