O/t Got any jokes?


Silver Member
S: 18st2lb C: 12st11lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 26.4 Loss: 5st5lb(29.53%)

Well it's raining and none of us can comfort eat or drink ourselves in to a stupor to cheer up so lets hear your best jokes!

Are you ready ....this is my personal fav.

What do you do if you see a spaceman???

Park your car man!

lololololololol i know its terrible but it's still bought a smile to my face, lets hear yours.

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Gold Member
S: 15st7lb C: 14st11lb G: 11st7lb Loss: 0st10lb(4.61%)
ummmm i dont get it :( am a bit slow on the uptake!! x


Wants to shed pounds more
What goes 'oooooooo?'
A cow with no lips!

bada - ching! I thang yew :-D


I know I can do it..
S: 23st10lb C: 23st10lb G: 19st13lb BMI: 53.6 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
Dwarf with a lisp goes to a stud farm to buy a horse, "I'd like to buy a horth" he says to the owner of the farm.
"What sort of horse ?" asks the owner.
"A female horth", the dwarf replies and so the owner takes him to his finest mare.
"Nithe horth", says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyth?".
The owner patiently picks up the dwarf and shows him the horse's eyes.
"Nithe eyth" says the dwarf, "Can I thee her teeth?".
Again, the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse's teeth.
"Nithe teeth, can I see her eerth?" the dwarf says.
By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again,picks up the dwarf and shows him the horse's ears.
"Nithe eerth", says the dwarf, "Can I see her twot?"
With this, the owner picks up the dwarf and shoves his head deep inside the horse's vagina and holds him there for a few seconds before pulling him out and putting him down.
The dwarf shakes his head and says, "Perhaps I should weefwaze that, can I see her Gallop?"

I love this one, but it's easier to say when drunk lol :p



Gold Member
i've told this somewhere before on here but it's closeish to christmas so it's allowe :D

two snowmen in a field. one turns to the other and says 'is it just me, or can you smell carrots'.

:D :D

abz xx


Silver Member
S: 21st11lb G: 11st0lb
hahahaha that has cheered me up no end reading those...

Great thread..

Sarah xx

Byebye bingo wings

Full Member
S: 21st3lb C: 20st8lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 40.2 Loss: 0st9lb(3.03%)
I went to the zoo the other day...it only had one dog.

It was a shitzu!

Boom boom, I nearly fell off my chair laughing when I first heard this. I may have issues!


Wants to shed pounds more
Text MSG Joke::

I left my job at the helium balloon factory - I couldnt stand the way they speak to you

Text MSG Reply ::

I hear they speak very highly of you :)