Principessa N
Minimins Addict
As you can see from my start date I have been a member of minimins for over 4 years, I joined when I was planning a wedding and babies at a little over 24stone. In those 4 years I have learned nothing, I have achieved nothing, the only thing I have gained is 4 stone. The wedding has been and gone, I have a wedding pictures i've seen once and refuse to look at again, quiet frankly it was the most uncomfortable day in my life and thats sad. Family and aquaintinces have met, got married, had babies, moved on and I feel stuck in the same miserable place.
I don't understand why I can stick to a diet sometimes I just have to eat, a lot and fast and I have no control over it. What is so wrong in my head that I have no control over myself and my actions. I want to change, I need to change but I don't no how. I want to be able to go for a run instead of grabbing a chocolate bar to feel better, I want to go visit my family who live abroad who I don't see because I'm too large, I want a baby of my own instead of feeling jealous (then guilty) about people around me that have them.
I guess there is no point to the post, I wonder if anyone has been as big as me and beaten the inner demons to actually get anywhere with their weight loss.
I do mean it this time but I always do!
I don't understand why I can stick to a diet sometimes I just have to eat, a lot and fast and I have no control over it. What is so wrong in my head that I have no control over myself and my actions. I want to change, I need to change but I don't no how. I want to be able to go for a run instead of grabbing a chocolate bar to feel better, I want to go visit my family who live abroad who I don't see because I'm too large, I want a baby of my own instead of feeling jealous (then guilty) about people around me that have them.
I guess there is no point to the post, I wonder if anyone has been as big as me and beaten the inner demons to actually get anywhere with their weight loss.
I do mean it this time but I always do!