Peekaboo!

[Eastern Indigo]

Well, hello there! Nice to meet you, I'm...well, honestly, I'm not really decided about whether I want my name on here or not, so I'm going to call myself Indie, short for Eastern Indigo, a very pretty species of snake. I'm 18 years old, and trying to reach a place where I can be more at peace with the way I look and feel through taking better care of myself. I only really want to lose 10 lbs or so, but I would definitely like to gain some muscle and tone up a bit, and I hope I've found a community that will help me get there .

To tell the truth, I've struggled with an eating disorder in the past, along with some other mental health issues, fluctuating between starving myself and binging/purging. Now I've reached a point where my relationship with food is a bit of a mess, I'm not even sure how to eat like a normal person. But I've been out of hospital for a year now, I'm making plans for the future, and freeing myself from this weird love-hate thing I have with food is the next step to...no, not recovering myself, sculpting a new self, free of my past and no longer held under by my illnesses.

I'm aiming for June 24th, my birthday, as a kind of goal date - by which point I guess I'd just like to look the way I want to, and have a wardrobe that suits me and actually fits properly. Whether that will be enough time remains to be seen, so I'll be taking it as it comes. I also have a slightly longer-term goal: in a few years I'm looking to hike the Pacific Crest Trail with my boyfriend, and as of right now I'm nowhere near fit enough to consider attempting a 2,600 mile thru-hike. I'm looking forward to meeting new people, and to making some friends who'll understand where I'm coming from and where I'm going. I'm also going to create a diary on here to help me keep track, potentially an Instagram page too if anyone would be interested in following?

I'd love to hear your stories too, and can't wait to get to know you all!

xx Indie xx

 

[tipperary]

Hi Indie, I am a lot older than you but can very clearly remember 18 and the problems that came with it. You appear to have been through a huge amount of difficulties but seem to have accepted there have been problems and are trying to deal with them. June 24th isn't very far away, keeping a food diary is a good plan but don't obsess about it. Take each day as it comes and try to enjoy the little things each day. The Pacific Crest Trail sounds amazing and a great goal to look forward to.

 

[Eastern Indigo]

Hi Indie, I am a lot older than you but can very clearly remember 18 and the problems that came with it. You appear to have been through a huge amount of difficulties but seem to have accepted there have been problems and are trying to deal with them. June 24th isn't very far away, keeping a food diary is a good plan but don't obsess about it. Take each day as it comes and try to enjoy the little things each day. The Pacific Crest Trail sounds amazing and a great goal to look forward to.

I'm doing my best, I have my bad days but I think that's pretty normal . I'm trying not to get obsessed, hence why I'm not calorie counting this time, I know where that path leads and I don't want to go back there - it's making it a little harder, as I really don't know whether I'm eating enough or too much, but I think I'm doing okay, and with time I'll be able to listen to what my body's telling me it needs, and judge whether I'm eating right by the results on the scale and in the mirror. That's good advice; it's easy to get so caught up in the destination you miss the journey, especially when it comes to weight loss!

Do you have a diary I could follow?