Please help

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Smokes, 19 July 2010 Social URL.

  1. Smokes

    Smokes Full Member

    Posts:
    249
    Likes Received:
    4
    Diet:
    SW
    How do you stick to it?
    Why can't I stick to it?
    I started slimming world at the end of September 2009 and did really really well. But this year its just gone down hill.
    Between February and June I lost and gained the same 5lbs. I then stopped going to meetings because I was short of time and cash, and felt I was wasting money as I wasn't loosing. Since then I have put on 7lbs.
    I hate myself. I look in the mirror and cringe. I hate feeling fat.
    I know it works, it did work when I stuck to it, so why can't I stick to it? I'm the only one who can do anything about my weight so why don't I do it?! I want to loose about 5stone (would possibly still be overweight BMI then but its a start), I knew it wouldn't be a quick fix but why do I keep cheating? I'll sneakily buy food and eat before getting home but the only person I am kidding is myself! And whilst it tastes good it makes me feel crap.
    Any help suggestions appreciated, anybody been through this and got through it and succeeded?
    Am hoping by writing it down will give me the kick I need.
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,109
    Likes Received:
    216
    I got to the weight I was at before, by doing exactly what you do. The more you do it, the more you want to do it.

    Hating yourself is such a big part of it. You may want to subliminally protect yourself from hurt, or from people liking you, and so you do that to reinforce your "wall" of self protection. The key to successful weight loss is to not be afraid of what will happen when you take that wall away. If you feel, as I did, that you arent WORTH taking care of, and you arent WORTH being cared about, then the only comfort and it is a hollow comfort, comes from eating stuff that is rubbish for you. It tastes good, so you feel rewarded, but really you are rewarding your negative feelings, and not the positive steps that you make.

    Having a positive frame of mind is really important. You need to be able to cope with the little knocks life gives you. Not every week will be a good weight loss week, and you need to be able to move on past that without thinking "Ah, stuff it, its not working, pass the chocolate/crisps/cheese" or if you do have a blip, being able to draw a line under it and move on. These things happen. The key is not to use them as a weapon to beat yourself with.
     
    Lovely_Laura likes this.
  4. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

    Posts:
    18,581
    Likes Received:
    131
    Start Weight:
    9st11lb
    Current Weight:
    8st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st9lb
    Lost(%):
    1st2lb(11.68%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I found SW relatively easy. What kept me going was knowing that being overweight had caused my mum to be ill, & I just didn't want to be like that when I'm her age, I want to be out partying:p

    So you buy food on the way home from work, either don't take any money with you, or take just enough for what you need, then you're not tempted to buy food. Or take a different route home if poss.

    What are you eating on the way home? Could you make yourself a SW friendly treat to nibble on whilst you make your way home.

    Or could you incorporate what you buy into your daily syn allowance.

    You may have gained & lost the same 5lb between Feb & June, but it's not the end of the world, putting it in perspective, 5lb isn't that bad. It could be worse you could be were you started at in Sept. Overall you've still lost weight & that's something to be proud of.

    Let us know what you buy on your way home & we'll see if we can think of a SW friendly or low syn treat for you.;)
     
  5. Smokes

    Smokes Full Member

    Posts:
    249
    Likes Received:
    4
    Diet:
    SW
    Thanks MadameLaMinx.
    I guess your right. Even when I'm loosing weight I worry what I'll look like and will I have lots of loose skin and will I actually look worse.
    So how do you start to love yourself and be more positive?
    I find myself constantly making excuses, yet when I look at pictures I cringe.
     
  6. Smokes

    Smokes Full Member

    Posts:
    249
    Likes Received:
    4
    Diet:
    SW
    It's not necessary on way home from work it can be on way home from shopping. I'll buy something naughty like sweets/chocolate/crisps/cream cake/bread and scoff it on way home or at home but then hide wrappers in bin so my partner won't see!! How pathetic!
    I try to take stuff on plan to work but then others bring in biscuits/chocolates. I think ok I can have one I've not had any syns but then it becomes more than one.
    I want to loose weight for me, because I want to be healthier and I want to look better. I'm also training to be a nurse so feel I should be healthier if I'm going to be preaching to patients!
     
  7. Rayven

    Rayven Addicted to Minimins!

    Posts:
    1,714
    Likes Received:
    77
    Start Weight:
    18st9lb
    Current Weight:
    18st6lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st6lb
    Lost(%):
    0st3lb(1.15%)
    Diet:
    Exante
    Ok, so firstly i'm going to give you a much needed virtual kick up the bum! (in a kind, caring way of course! lol) :copon:


    Secondly you need to STOP! :hug99:
    I suspect this self loathing is part of the problem as to why you can't stick to it, or why you feel as if you can't. If someone else had posted this you would be telling them that they're worth so much more, that they shouldn't hate themselves, that they have to love themselves and believe in themselves 'before' they can start losing weight. ((((HUGS))))
    I don't want to sound harsh but you sound sooooo much like me a couple of years ago. I ballooned to nearly 20 stone when i was pregnant with my son and hated what i saw in the mirror, but after years of dieting (have been dieting on and off since i was 15) i finally realised why i lost and then gained and then felt bad and then gained some more and tried to stick to a diet but couldn't, so ate to make myself feel better etc etc......it just goes on and on.
    I realised i had to believe in myself.

    I had to look at myself in the mirror and although there may have been aspects of my body i wanted to change i needed to be able to say 'yeah, i love who i am!' It takes practice and you feel like a plank to start with, but close your eyes and imagine yourself at your ideal weight, how you would ideally love to look - now imagine you look that way right now! How would you be acting differently towards yourself?
    If you really are struggling to stick to the 5-15 syns a day to start off with then try having 30 syns a day and take pleasure in the fact that YOU'RE in control of what you're eating. Then gradually cut them down.
    You're worth so much more than the way you feel about yourself right now. :hug99:
    Sorry for the long ramble :blahblah: and if you ever need to chat then you know where i am. xx
     
  8. elizabeth

    elizabeth Silver Member

    Posts:
    764
    Likes Received:
    48
    Start Weight:
    19st1lb
    Current Weight:
    8st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st10lb
    Lost(%):
    10st4lb(53.93%)
    Diet:
    No diet, just healthy eating
    One thing I've learned from my own experience is that you have to be mentally ready to change completely. That's what makes the difference between sticking with it and returning to your old ways.

    Permanent change is a scary thing. When you've been in a rut for a long time, dependent on certain ways of behaving to help you cope with life, it's so, so daunting to contemplate changing forever. It seems so much easier to just stay with what you know, even if what you know makes you miserable. You have to reach a point where you want change more than you want the false security of everything staying the same.

    It can take many attempts before you reach that state of mind. It took me years and years. Failing at 'diets' over and over again, continually returning to old patterns of behaviour, unable to deal with the thought of having to permanently change my attitude to food completely. I kept trying, though - that's the key. Eventually it clicked and I was ready to change. I wanted that more than I wanted the mountains of food I was using to get me through my life.

    Just keep trying. Don't give up on yourself. This is a journey, it's not all going to happen overnight. Find some compassion for yourself and realise that as long as you're still trying, you're still giving yourself that chance to change. :)
     
  9. Queenie24

    Queenie24 Full Member

    Posts:
    385
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    15st7.5lb
    Current Weight:
    14st5.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st2lb(7.36%)
    Diet:
    SW
  10. Rayven

    Rayven Addicted to Minimins!

    Posts:
    1,714
    Likes Received:
    77
    Start Weight:
    18st9lb
    Current Weight:
    18st6lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st6lb
    Lost(%):
    0st3lb(1.15%)
    Diet:
    Exante
    I started listening to Paul McKenna - change your life in seven days and although i felt like a bit of a plank to start off with it actually made me feel a lot more positive about myself. xx
     
  11. Smokes

    Smokes Full Member

    Posts:
    249
    Likes Received:
    4
    Diet:
    SW
    Thanks for all the suggestions/hugs/kicks they are all needed!
    Rayven - when I am in the right frame of mind I didn't struggle with 15syns, I rearely used all 15 syns. Its just recently when I've been cheating, not counting things etc.
    I think clean slate tomorrow start again, then I start finding excuses, then feel bad. Tomorrow my excuse is I'm out most of day and can't take a lunch so will have to eat on go!! Then at weekend will be eating out!
    Stop making excuses and get on with it girl!!
    I think I have one of Paul McKennas cd's actually. Might have to try and find it and listen to it.
    Thanks again guys. Think I might be strict with myself get back on track and post a diary on here and actually be honest on it and not hide things cos i'm only kidding myself.
     
  12. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,109
    Likes Received:
    216
    Thats a really good idea. Writing down how you are feeling can be really cathartic and you know that here you are only going to get positive support and constructive advice. Try it for a few days, and write it for YOU, not what you think other people might want to hear.
     
  13. MancBird

    MancBird Always comes back to MMs!

    Posts:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    40
    Goal Weight:
    12st0lb
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I agree with all that's been said - you need to be ready to make a commitment, and positive life long changes... there are no quick fixes unfortunately!

    I think with me it clicked when my health began to be affected... I'm not even 30, and I get out of breath just looking at the stairs... I knew it wasnt good.

    Give it another go, and promise yourself that whatever happens, there will be blips, there will be difficult times, there will be days when you struggle and days when you cheat - but you will always carry on, try again, and never give up.

    Thats what I do anyhow! Good luck xxxx
     
  14. Smokes

    Smokes Full Member

    Posts:
    249
    Likes Received:
    4
    Diet:
    SW
    Thank you everybody.
    I have started a diary on here and will be honest and will update it as often as I can.
    Today wasn't a good day with a Frankie and Bennies lunch but I am ready for tomorrow with a quiche already made for lunch.
    I can do thi, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this!
     
  15. Shirleen

    Shirleen Gold Member

    Posts:
    5,605
    Likes Received:
    64
    Start Weight:
    21st12.5lb
    Current Weight:
    21st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st8.5lb(2.77%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I've taken to eating the same thing every morning and lunchtime, my problem was that I would start work at 7am and not eat till i got home at 4.20 and then scoff, so now I take two weetabix into work for breakfast, them making a pkt of Batchelors savoury rice, 2 hard boiled eggs and 1/3 jar beetroot. I try to eat that at about 2pm so I don't feel the need to binge at 4pm. Ok this is a bit restricting, but for me the choices meant I thought too much about food.

    Then because I've been good all day I don't want to ruin that.
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...