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Popping PopUp (..and not with a pin) - Weight Loss Diary

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*Avid Gum Chewer*
#1
I'm laughing at the name now, since my father used to make jokes about me getting to a size where I would one day need to use a pin to pop my balloon sized belly as if it was full off air.Anyway, welcome to my Diary.

I think quite a few of you on here can understand that it is hard to be young and the bigger one out of your friends. I hated shopping growing up, or even just going out with friends for a meal because I hated people seeing that something I liked, looked horrible on me or when I ate I had to have seconds :sigh:. I may have been chubby at that stage of growing up, but it wasn't until last year when everything spiralled out of control for me, some things happened and I wasn't able to cope.. so my food intake and exercise suffered. I was never bullied though in school, and have the best friends a girl could ask for. They are very understanding towards me (Thank god). I feel that my weight is stopping me from doing anything I would really love to do. As I am still in school (The last year) its hard for me and we have fitness checks, which I hate cause I am always on the poor end of the scale when we see how well we have done. I would love to be able to be faster at running and better in some sports than some of the people in my class.

Right now, I am 13 stone and 9 pounds and I am 5'6 - 5'7 ish in height.

I am doing the Winter/ Christmas Challenge that I created to start off with, which starts on November 1st and ends on January 31st.
 
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*Avid Gum Chewer*
#2
I feel as if it is a downward spiral, or that I am a yo yo going back and forth. One day I will be good, drinking plenty of water (which I enjoy drinking) and eating healthier foods at the right times and then the next day, I will be eating junk food and feeling sorry for myself. Its not that I don't feel quilty after I eat food that is bad for me, because I become really upset with myself. A few months back, I was on a diet and dropped seven pounds, which I was so happy about because I had just been exercising more often and not starving myself.. but then I went on a big binge because I had major depression after something that happened last year and I was putting myself down more by eating foods that didn't make me feel good about myself. Just sometimes, it hurts to even look in a mirror, or even just to strip off so I can go shower because I am so unhappy with the way I look. I just feel frustrated.
 
#3
Oh my goodness are we the same person. Completely relate to all your saying. Have you decided to start to diet. Today is my beginning I've signed up with weight motivation clinic which is essentially health eating but also meetings with a life coach on why I eat and workin on the emotions. Best of luck with everything xxx
 
#4
Hey, and welcome to the forum!

I may be a few years older than you but i can totally relate to what you are saying, as my school life was very similar to yours. The people on this forum are wonderful and so supportive and they help to get you through the blips and encourage you when you feel a bit down. (they also give you a good kick up the bum when you need one! haha)

I know its really hard when all your friends seem to just BE slim or sporty and they seem to just eat what you eat (that was the case with me anyways) It has always always seemed so unfair that there are those girls out there who don't have to watch what they eat every single day.

The fact is we are the unlucky ones who have to deal with our food daemons and work hard every single day to be the person we want to be!

Keep talking on here... it doesnt matter if you post 100 times per day, you certainly are no alone on your journey!

You'll be at goal in no time

:D :D :D

Kate x
 

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*Avid Gum Chewer*
#5
Thanks for both of your comments, I'm starting officially tomorrow (I know that is bad) but it lets me get everything sorted out, and so I can check what is in the fridge tonight to make sure I have everything I need to make a good healthy lunch and breakfast for me tomorrow. And yeah, KateR my friends seem to be really pretty, though one of them suffers from ADHD and I am actually jealous of her because I have seen her eat.. and she eat for an army (much like myself, haha). I have talked about my weight with another friend of mine, who is also in my gym class about the subject of weight, she isn't fat at all but I found out that she struggles with weight herself.
 

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*Avid Gum Chewer*
#6
Today I had an ok day, didn't really have time for breakfast.. just dinner and lunch. Had a strawberry milkshake and a spicy chicken and onion wrap for lunch. For dinner I had a egg mayo sandwich with salad on the side. I also drunk a litre and a half of water. Not much, I know.. just wasn't really in the mood for eating today.
 
#7
Hiya popup,

Im a 22 year old bloke and when i was at school i felt the same, always the larger one of my friends and the more down i become the more i ate, then the more ate the more down i become it was a horrible cycle and now how you feel,

Ive been calery counting now for 2 weeks nearly 3 and if i can i would like to suggest something to you, if your starting november the 1st try cutting fizzy pop, or chocolate or 1 thing out today, before te diet start date then when you cut the rest it will seam easier. Dont starve yourself either just be sensible it will come to you in the end just a little bit of will power and eyes on the goal and you'll be fine...
 

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*Avid Gum Chewer*
#9
Recently I found a pair of jeans (rather expensive jeans at that) which are from when I was at my slimmest, they are like 4 dress sizes too (around size 8) small for me at the moment but I can dream about myself being in them, maybe I can make them something to look forward to when I have lost the weight or when I have rough patches along the way.
 

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*Avid Gum Chewer*
#11
I suck ass.. err, well not literally but I failed BIG time, I am talking a huge calorie load today.. and I could say it wasn't my fault, but it is. I could tell my friend that I am on a diet, and she wouldn't be tempted to 'treat' me when shopping but I am too much of a pussy to talk to her about it, even if she is undestanding about my weight. Gonna try and get back on track tomorrow, I will be buying digital scales next week, Yay!
 
#12
PopUp said:
I suck ass.. err, well not literally but I failed BIG time, I am talking a huge calorie load today.. and I could say it wasn't my fault, but it is. I could tell my friend that I am on a diet, and she wouldn't be tempted to 'treat' me when shopping but I am too much of a pussy to talk to her about it, even if she is undestanding about my weight. Gonna try and get back on track tomorrow, I will be buying digital scales next week, Yay!
Heya popup, dont worry everyone has setbacks during there diet.. Main thing is you dont do it often but dont beat yourself up over it because its happened now.

Best of luck n keep smiling lol just have in mind how you want to be and it will happen
 

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*Avid Gum Chewer*
#13
I'm finally updating this diary, I bought a one week trial pack of Exante, forgeting to write down what I specifically thought of each one, so I will do that in January when I order a months worth of everything. I am ordering the week after christmas, want to start it then. So, I don't get any bigger.. I know there are plenty of people who are probably double my size, but I don't want to see myself ever that big, that is why I am dealing with this weight now.
 


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