Hi Adora, I haven't reached my goal yet... so haven't maintained at all, unless we count a 3 month plateau earlier this year!
Please don't feel bad about falling off the wagon. Everyone has up and down days and weeks, so long as you're on track for the majority of the time, you get there in the end. And calorie counting just takes a bit of time and practice... once you get into the swing of it, you become a walking caloric counter and you do it nearly unconsciously. I do think that a written record helps, just so that you can check you're getting a good balance of foods and do some tweaking if needed. Have you tried
www.essentialsweightloss.co.uk ? They'll count everything up for you and calculate your five-a-day percentages. 5 day free trial, too!
I really don't have any big secrets, I yo-yo dieted for years since uni, so I guess maybe the time was just right for me to make a resolution to stop dieting and start eating sensibly for life. I didn't want to suddenly be 50 and still on the diet treadmill! I think that's maybe the major thing, Adora. Start from the right place mentally and emotionally. Don't think of your weight loss campaign as a diet, because a diet is finite and what you really need to keep the weight off for good is a way of eating and relating to food that you can comfortably sustain for the rest of your life. So when I made this resolution on May 1st last year I decided I wasn't going to weigh myself at all while I was losing weight - I'd just go by the tape measure, how my clothes fitted, and how I felt. I didn't weigh myself for 10 months. I think that really helped me in the initial stages, because it took the pressure of goals and deadlines off me and made me think long term.
That's been the biggest thing for me - ditching the old mindset of wanting speedy results and working to insane targets, and making impossible demands of myself. I think you've got to enjoy your life right now, enjoy what you're eating while you're losing weight, because punishment and misery just aren't sustainable! You can't maintain something for life if it hurts you, and anything you can't sustain will just make you feel like a failure when you finally ditch it.
So don't try to do too much or be too perfect! Do what you can handle. For me that meant accepting that I just can't handle the gym or regimented exercise in any shape or form. I can be disciplined with food so long as I don't force myself to go to the gym 4 days a week. If you enjoy formal exercise, that's fabulous and it'll really help get the weight off, but if you don't then don't make yourself do it. Just try to focus on speeding up your movements in general, keeping on your feet when you can, getting out and about (even just for shopping!) whenever you get the chance. It all adds up.
One tip I have is eat plenty! Seriously. I took off the first 7 stone by allowing myself to eat all fruit and vegetables freely. I didn't count their calories, I just ate them when I was hungry and used them to bulk out my evening meals. I still eat a pound of broccoli with my dinner! So maybe try that - don't feel like you have to go hungry at all, just make friends with all the delicious low calorie foods there are out there and regularly graze on them when you feel an attack of the munchies. They will do you nothing but good and they'll really make a difference to your skin and your sense of well-being!
Also, have the odd treat. Always have something to look forward to in the day and in the week. I think this is vital. If you can say to yourself 'I'm having a lovely meal tonight with a nice pudding,' then the urge to get naughty earlier in the day is less appealing because you know you'll enjoy that meal far more if you're on track. In the same way, if you set aside one day a week to go out for a nice meal, it can be a great incentive to keep going during the week, even when times are rough.
I think it's important that you don't avoid reality or eliminate any particular food group from your diet. It's easy to get sucked into some crazy, faddy dieting bubble, but that won't help you live normally when you've lost weight. So never be afraid to get out there and have the odd treat and go to restaurants.
I think a big part of losing weight is in preparation, making time to roughly plan out your menu for the week before you go shopping, and having a list when you get to the supermarket. It's all about making that time for you, I guess, which can be tough, but if you shop smart and have the house well stocked with good foods, then you can't really fall off the wagon because there's always something healthy to graze on. So take some time before shopping to decide what you're going to get, and have a good look at the labels when you're shopping.
Something else which has helped me and may help you - chopsticks! Yes, chopsticks. Sounds marginally insane, I know, but I started using them for my evening meals and I found that initially it really slowed me down and helped me focus properly on my food, chew it slowly, and appreciate each mouthful instead of just shoveling it down. You can't really absently gobble a meal if you're using chopsticks, and hey, it's a nice skill to have mastered, too! I think that eating slowly, really enjoying each bite, and having plenty to drink with your meal all helps fill you up.
Visualising yourself where you want to be can always help - it's an old trick. Just closing your eyes and imagining how you look and how you feel when you've shed the weight. Buying a garment you really love in the size you'd like to attain can be a good incentive, as is getting rid of all clothing that's too big for you. As soon as it starts to get baggy - off to the charity shop with it! Imagine yourself at a Christmas party, wearing something festive and sparkley, knocking 'em all dead.
One other thing I'd say is be prepared for life to intervene. You'll have lousy days, you'll no doubt hit the biscuits at some point, you'll gain some weight (even if you've been good!) but that's just life. You're human, not an android. It's all how you react to it. Always look forward, don't look back, and above all else: don't punish yourself after the fact. Don't cut out a meal or a snack or starve yourself for previously slipping up. Just focus on making sensible, enjoyable eating a life-long habit.