Hello!
I'm crawling back the forum ashamed and embarrassed!! To be fair I never really left as read it everyday I’ve just been too embarrassed to post! I lost 5 stone last year with LL and then CD and have managed to put 2 stone back on in less than 6 months . I got down to 10.10 at my lowest - and was a size 12/14 - I looked ok i suppose but i've been large the whole of my life and looking at my after photos I do look a little gaunt (even though my BMI was still 26). Anyway - I went to this big family event were every single person told me 'how much better I looked' and 'don't you wish you'd done it sooner' and 'thank goodness you lost some weight' and this one a classic from my dad to my boyfriend 'bet you fancy her more now that that arse has disappeared' Nice!!
Anyway - I sort of freaked out - i've always been really confident about my size - i've never been small but i've never lacked in male attention either ! And my self-esteem sort of went out of the window - how could all these people have thought I was so awful before? why had they never said anything? was i really that bad? That was september and for some reason it made me want to stop doing CD and start eating!!
Since then I've been starving and bingeing and messing about with all sorts of different diets - I feel like I start a new one every day - and the only thing that’s happened is that I've put on 2 stone and am back in my size 16 jeans! (at least its not my size 20's!!).
I've also been suffering with depression - I've got no confidence, I never want to go anywhere or do anything or be seen - I know its silly i'm actually still 3 stone smaller than I was to start with but i feel 10 times worse and 10 times less confident.
But anyway - I've decided - after months of deliberation and messing about that I'm going to re-start CD - I have about 2 months worth of packs left (I bought in bulk caus my CD was stopping work to have a baby!!).
I’m going to start tomorrow and do 790 for a week to ease myself in and because its my bf’s birthday next week and were going away which will involve eating out.
I’m feeling really positive and like I’ve really thought about this decision so I hope it goes ok. I’ve decided I only want to get to 11 stone this time – that should get me into my size 12 jeans again I reckon and I’ll take things from there. I’m also not putting any time limits on anything – its taken me 6 months to put this weight on so if it takes 6 months to take it off again so be it. (But if I could do it by my 21st which is 29th July – that would be amazing!!)
If anyone else is restarting or fancies buddying up let me know – I could do with all the help I can get!!
Sorry for the essay – wish me luck!!
Tash xx
I'm crawling back the forum ashamed and embarrassed!! To be fair I never really left as read it everyday I’ve just been too embarrassed to post! I lost 5 stone last year with LL and then CD and have managed to put 2 stone back on in less than 6 months . I got down to 10.10 at my lowest - and was a size 12/14 - I looked ok i suppose but i've been large the whole of my life and looking at my after photos I do look a little gaunt (even though my BMI was still 26). Anyway - I went to this big family event were every single person told me 'how much better I looked' and 'don't you wish you'd done it sooner' and 'thank goodness you lost some weight' and this one a classic from my dad to my boyfriend 'bet you fancy her more now that that arse has disappeared' Nice!!
Anyway - I sort of freaked out - i've always been really confident about my size - i've never been small but i've never lacked in male attention either ! And my self-esteem sort of went out of the window - how could all these people have thought I was so awful before? why had they never said anything? was i really that bad? That was september and for some reason it made me want to stop doing CD and start eating!!
Since then I've been starving and bingeing and messing about with all sorts of different diets - I feel like I start a new one every day - and the only thing that’s happened is that I've put on 2 stone and am back in my size 16 jeans! (at least its not my size 20's!!).
I've also been suffering with depression - I've got no confidence, I never want to go anywhere or do anything or be seen - I know its silly i'm actually still 3 stone smaller than I was to start with but i feel 10 times worse and 10 times less confident.
But anyway - I've decided - after months of deliberation and messing about that I'm going to re-start CD - I have about 2 months worth of packs left (I bought in bulk caus my CD was stopping work to have a baby!!).
I’m going to start tomorrow and do 790 for a week to ease myself in and because its my bf’s birthday next week and were going away which will involve eating out.
I’m feeling really positive and like I’ve really thought about this decision so I hope it goes ok. I’ve decided I only want to get to 11 stone this time – that should get me into my size 12 jeans again I reckon and I’ll take things from there. I’m also not putting any time limits on anything – its taken me 6 months to put this weight on so if it takes 6 months to take it off again so be it. (But if I could do it by my 21st which is 29th July – that would be amazing!!)
If anyone else is restarting or fancies buddying up let me know – I could do with all the help I can get!!
Sorry for the essay – wish me luck!!
Tash xx