Rosebug's Diary [back on the chain gang~]

rosebug said:
And he's had this persistent cough for weeks now which my brain has basically decided is lung cancer
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Oh sweetie the very biggest of hugs (((((Rose)))))) I so know what you mean, I do the same - all the time.

Not getting sleep so ain't helping either - but you can't force it. I have tried everything - herbal pills, melatonin tablets, teas, room sprays, meditation (how DO people concentrate on nothing for longer than 30 seconds?!) - and the only thing that is guaranteed to work is chemical sleeping pills - but they make me feel like chit the next day.

I do use nurofen more than I probably should, but they seem to help me get off to sleep, and I take St John's Wort and rescue remedy to help me destress a bit. The there's red wine....

Thinking of you and your family xxxx
 
Yes, chemical sleeping pills or Valium help me sleep (I've had it after surgeries) but make me into a zombie. I've just had about 2 hours of exhausting worry-sleep and can't expect anything else for the next couple of days but then hopefully maybe it will get better.

I take prescription level diclofenac for pain as standard and have just taken one to help me unwind a bit too.

I'm glad this is a new page, I shouldn't use this forum to talk myself through panic attacks, it's not on.

Anyway food today. Have eaten hugely but legally, though had two shakes to stop myself going for bad chocolate.

Food Today:

Grilled salami & Brie @ 3am
2g

2 squares g&b
2g

4 dry toasted peanuts
1g

Peanut butter
3g

Dietimeal choc shake
1.5g

BK double cheeseburger no bun
4g

1.5 skinless chicken breast, butter
0g

Dietimeal choc shake
1.5 g

Tea
3g

TOTAL : 18g

I will probably have some more to eat later. I bought some big prawns I'll have with guacamole dip and mayo which will take me to 20 or 21g, or I'll have an omelette.
 
Sweetie don't be daft, this is your diary and you can share anything you like! :)

Re your food, do try and get some greens in, maybe a bit of iceberg lettuce with mayo?
 
I don't tend to be fussed about greens because I'm on prescription vitamins which are about x400 rda so nutritionally they wouldn't add much to me, but I do have something green most days. I also add benefibre to all my drinks, but I am pretty regular.

Don't get me wrong I love veg - more than I like meat really. But I have my big veg blowouts on cabbage, courgette and leeks at the weekends. Weekdays it's cucumber and asparagus where I can. Am planning to add in avocado next week, partly as an effort to up calories from fat.
 
:hug99: hard to get through stuff like this as I know with my Dad, but don't be afraid to share and let off steam as you need to on here, this is your space - let it out xxxx
 
Well add a bucketload of prawns, spoonful of guacamole, mayo, two spoonfuls cream cheese and a chunk of cucumber to my total.

5 extra carbs, I'd say. I was tempted to have another shake but I won't. I know it's comfort eating and I find it so hard to find comfort in Atkins food but I wish I could stop. I did drink a litre of water to try and stop myself wanting more. At least I've stayed legal even if its too much food, I just wish I didn't feel like only a pizza or some chips would hit the spot I'm looking for.

In cat on a hot tin roof the alcoholic character talks about needing to drink until he gets a 'click' and things are okay, and some days it takes more to get to that 'click'. Is it strange that I know exactly what he means, but with food?

But I have stayed legal, haven't had too much of an excess of carbs and maybe this plate of cucumber and cream cheese will be it and I can get some sleep.

Have been watching a documentary about junior doctors in their first week, on BBC3. Scary but interesting. I wish I had the stomach for medicine.
 
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Morning RB, happy Saturday:)
Well done on staying legal - that's the key even if you are in monster munch mode!
Xx
 
Nana had her surgery this morning and should be out now, so going to visit in a few. She's so frail just surviving that is a first step. Then it's hoping this hasn't put her back another 3 months (how long she's been in hospital).

At least I'm not feeling like I need to eat the world, today.
 
rosebug said:
Nana had her surgery this morning and should be out now, so going to visit in a few. She's so frail just surviving that is a first step. Then it's hoping this hasn't put her back another 3 months (how long she's been in hospital).

At least I'm not feeling like I need to eat the world, today.
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Sending love and light to you and your family:hug99:
 
Visit with Nana today was better than expected considering how wrecked she was after the last surgery. The test will be tomorrow after the mega-drugs wear off. Thank you for the good wishes. Xx

Food today:

Pancetta, 2 scrambled eggs, mushrooms
2g carbs

2 squares g&b
2g carbs

Tea
4g carbs

Parma ham, cream, Parmesan, courgette
6g carbs

Dietimeal vanilla shake
1.5g carbs

Steak and asparagus
2g carbs

TOTAL: 17.5g carbs
 
Glad the visit went well and hope for more good news tomorrow
Best sleep vibes and wishes :)
Xxx
 
2lb loss so 13stone 4lbs today.

Ho hum, someday I'll hit the 12's. I can't or rather shouldn't complain, 1stone 6lbs in 7 weeks isn't shabby at all. I have 3 stone 8lbs to lose to be 'normal' and having been at a much higher weight 3 stone 8lbs feels like it should be nothing. But it isn't, it's a lot, especially on a very little frame, and I still feel as big a heffalump as I did at my heaviest.

But yes. 13st 4lbs. Keeping on keeping on.
 
Morning RB, well done:)
Don't be despondent - you know that slow and steady will get you to the right place and help you stay there. Keep going :D
Xx
 
I'm not despondent really just - you know when you feel like for the effort you put in you just should magically be slimmer than you are, gosh darn it? Like that. Am longing for 11 stone 10lbs and not being obese anymore, and then 9st 10lbs, though I think at that point I'll set a new goal a stone or so lower, at the moment I'm living for a 'normal' BMI. I also feel like because I've been bigger, I look much fatter at my current weight than someone for whom this weight was their highest.

I'm not really a slow and steady person at all. I need good results to keep me going. That's how I stuck out Cambridge.

But yes a loss is a loss is a loss. STS would have made me despondent.

(a loss is a loss of course of course and no one talks to a loss of course, that is unless of course the loss...)
 
Yes - know what you mean. I am so happy to have lost 10kg so far - but my long term goal only gets me to bmi of overweight - I havent even thought further than that:( But if i can steadily lose while not being hungry then it's just got to be possible!

Bit worried about mon wi- will be a short week of only 5 days plus rather a lot of wine and no exercise :rolleyes: 1 lb would be fine to get me to feb target. Anyhow, enough rambling - my ps coming over for lunch so i should probably get my act together:)
 
Hey Rosebud,

Thanks for all your help on my Diary when you have been feeling not to good yourself. Well done on you weight loss....the ammount you have lost in 2 months is amazing. Go you x x x x
 
Kat1e said:
Yes - know what you mean. I am so happy to have lost 10kg so far - but my long term goal only gets me to bmi of overweight - I havent even thought further than that:( But if i can steadily lose while not being hungry then it's just got to be possible!
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I think once I get to BMI 25 I'll be able to take my foot off the pedal a bit, up my carbs with owl and allow myself the odd treat while hopefully still losing slowly. But that's still a long way off, and just being overweight will be a huge step.

Hey Chellery, not to worry, nosing around other people's posts takes my mind off stresses in general.

Food Today:

dietimeal choc shake
1.5g

2 squares g+b
2g

salami, cream cheese, spoonful guacamole, 5 big prawns
4g

lamb, spoonful cauli cheese, leeks, asparagus
8g

frozen dietimeal choc shake (old cambridge trick. Freeze it, leave it to melt a little and it's like ice cream.)
1.5g

Tea
3g

TOTAL: 20g

Trying something from tomorrow for a week. Cutting carb levels and raising fats. I haven't been reaching the recommended fat level most days. Will be a bit regimented so we'll see how it goes.
 
Reading what youve just said I wonder if i havent been having enough fat.I know that some days my carbs are really low, but dont think the fats are very high and I do eat alot of protein.
Cant believe how well youve done in such a short time and i think i started at the same time and still havent moved.
Keep up the good work and all your words of encouragement to everyone, it means alot.
x
 
Hey Julz. I think that the time to consider maybe changing fat ratios is when you've been solidly in ketosis for at least two weeks, and only if youre not happy with your losses at that point. When you slip out of ketosis you spend on average the next 3 days not burning fat while your body gets back into it, so having higher fat on those days would mean you'd have to burn it off all over again, if that makes any sense. If anything it might slow any losses. I check my ketostix every day to see I'm still in ketosis, and if I wasn't I'd probably go high protein, slightly lower fat ratio just to get back into it. I've lost fairly well with my levels about 15 percent lower than the suggested ratio, I just like messing around with things and I'm seeing if doing this for a week will make any difference, good or bad. Won't know until it's over!
 
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