Rosebug's Diary [back on the chain gang~]

Sorry your Nana isn't doing well hon, must be very hard for you with all the visiting on top of everything else, you really need to make sure you get your iron though, it will help you keep going xxxx
 
Well last night turned into a nightmare, dads been gone all night looking after nana & it looks like anything today is well and truly off.

I've been so depressed for so long, and since November so stressed and worried over all this.

Idk. It's miserable.
 
Morning Rose, it's always difficult when you have elderly relatives, we went through a nightmare for a long time with my FIL.
 
I know, Jim. At this point I'm honestly worried caring for her is going to make my dad ill. She needs to be in a home, which I feel terrible for saying, but she's been at home for 3 days, with 3 carers & a nurse coming in, and dad has still been over there 9 hrs a day. Then 8pm last night she fell over and hurt her knee. She can't walk at all now but refused admission to hospital after hours in the ER so he's had to stay there.

I can't blame her in many ways- she's a naturally independent person, she's lived alone 40 years and she's been bedridden in hospital since November. But just visiting her daily in hospital took a lot out of us. Dad was made redundant last year and he's unable to earn any money while this is going on. He's emotionally wrecked and finds it hard to communicate which is hard on my mother. It's exhausting for all of us.

But she is so so loved, we have to do everything we can for her. It's just taking the family to it's limits and I'm very scared of what will happen. And I feel selfish for feeling sad about having basically no Xmas/channukah and now no Easter/pesach but we don't see the rest of the family much and idk. I have such a small insular life that it is a lot to lose.

I am sure she'd be safest and happiest in a home as long as we could find a wonderful one for her. But at the same time it is heartbreaking to see this once strong woman clearly at the end of her independent life and I can understand why her mind can't let her accept that. But if nothing changes she'll go on hurting herself and hurting herself and things will get worse and worse.

And all I can do is discuss this impotently here. I have talked to her about it but like everything it gets nowhere. She still believes she'll magically be fine again as soon as whatever the latest thing she blames for her problems is cleared up.

I and my mum wish she could live with the family, that at least would make life easier, but the house is too small and no money to move.

Who wouldn't try and move mountains for their mother/grandmother. But right now she is the mountain and she won't budge to help herself.
 
That is so like my FIL except in his case he's just stubborn and a nasty old controlling man, still touch wood since he gell and broke his hip and collarbones, he's been much quieter, we had to fight to get him a good care package though, you really have to keep an eye on the ball with them, they'll always do the minimum they can get away with, it's all down to funding I suppose
 
Oh Rosebug my dear I really feel for you. It's been a few years now but we had similar problems with my granny. She lived in portsmouth and it was killing my dad to drive to see her twice a week. So we finally persuaded her to move into a nursing home near us all here in london at 96 when she could no longer look after herself - upside is we could all visit her really regularly - downside was impact on her being stuck in small room even with lots of visitors. She always was an independent stubborn women (i wonder where i get it from). For better or worse she then lived to 102 so was stuck there for 6 yrs! Difficult even with hindsight to see what was best for her and all the family. I do however treasure all the time i got spend with her (she was born 1899 so lived across 3 centuries!)

Huge (((hugs))) and i hope all gets sorted
Much love
Xxxxxxx
 
Well I shan't hope for a family day again. Haven't even seen my dad since 9pm Saturday, and he's still at the hospital 2:30am today. He must be shattered.
 
Morning {{{Rose}}}
 
Big hugs Rose. My dad was the same. He kept saying when my balance comes back I'll be back to normal. But he had ms and I knew he would never regain it but there was no telling him. His nursing home stay was brief but that was a blessing for a man who had been independent and active all his life. Hope your dad manages to get home and have some rest x
 
Oh Rose I do feel so much for you and your Dad, there are no real answers to any of this unless your Nana comes to terms with it, all I can do is send you hugs :hug99: wish there was more I could do :(
 
I think life has finally got a bit too on top of me to keep up as I have been. I'm going to do 2 low carb (avidlite) meal replacements & 1 meal for a few weeks just to take the thought out of meal planning while I have too much else on my mind. I don't know if I will lose but hope at least this way I won't put on. Will still be around but likely quieter.
 
You have to do what is best for you and fits in with how your life is, no reason you should not lose if you keep your meal round about 400 cals but don't worry if you don't, your health is more important than losing weight currently xxx
 
Morning Rosebug:)
Agree you need to look after yourself. Hope the plan works for you ((hugs))
Xxxxx
 
Morning Rose, I agree love, do what you have to do love
 
Hi Rosebug, just to say I'm thinking of you
xxx
 
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