So what happens after??

[Lulu1964]

I had a long car journey over the weekend... (in fact two, there and back!) I often find myself in contemplative mode whilst driving and tend to ruminate over decisions, problems and directions in life... This time for some reason I got to thinking about the diet, and the whole weight loss journey. For me, the challenge is not the goal, I know I can do it, I have been there several times in my life, the challenge is how to stop myself having to repeat this yet again...

I am not quite half way into this particular weight loss journey, and so some might think that it is too soon to even think about what happens next... but it’s coming off so fast and I know that the next three months or so will go by in a flash. So I feel like I have to address this and come up with a plan now... so that I can get used to the idea and prepare accordingly....

For the majority of my adult life I have been a complete serial yoyo dieter. I will lose lots of weight, using various methods both fast and slow, but as soon as I get to goal all of my good habits and intentions just seem to slip away into the ether, I seem to stop even thinking about my weight and what I’m putting in my mouth, those scales get completely forgotten and just gather dust in the corner of the room and a couple of years later I am back at square one... in fact usually I am at least a stone heavier than the last time I started! I must stress that this isn't (or doesnt seem to be) a conscious decision, I just seem to forget about it, I literally don’t think about it at all until I see a photo of me or something and realise just how awful I look and feel and the journey starts all over again...

I am really tired of being this person... I hate being overweight, with no confidence and the aches and pains that come with it... When I’m slim I feel great, I look so much better, I have more confidence, more energy and I love it.... and I genuinely cannot understand why I do this every time. It’s not like I IGNORE my weight after, just that I genuinely don’t seem to think about it, having worked so hard to shift those extra stones.... why?? What is wrong with me? It must be so boring for my friends and family to have to be constantly encouraging me during another one of my endless diets, whilst suspecting I am sure, that as soon as I finish I will end up putting it all back on... they seem to manage to keep their weight even so that if they fluctuate by 5 lbs I would be surprised... I seem to fluctuate by 5 stone! Frankly its embarrassing....

However, I am now 48, and old enough and realistic enough to know that if someone says ooh you just need to eat brown rice and quinoa (which I hate) 6 days a week, or only eat fruit for the first 6 hours of the day, or spend 24 hours in the gym a week...... that I won’t do it... I know myself well enough now. I’m not being negative, I’m just trying to be realistic... I need a simple, non obsessive or faddy solution to this problem.

In the past I have had healthy eating periods, go to the market and spend a fortune on vegetables and fruit and plain healthy food... this will last for a few days, maybe even a week or two, and then I get fed up with it and everything just ends up in the bin...and I order a pizza... maybe I'm just completely lazy...or a complete carb junkie...I have contemplated doing S&S for say 4 days a week and eating “normally” for the other 3 days.. would this work or does that seem a bit faddy too? How can I change myself and my thinking so food is just fuel and not something to shovel down in huge quantities?

So, I’m sorry for the long, long post. It’s hard for me to admit how completely messed up I am... but I’m scared, and genuinely asking... How do I stop myself ending up back here in the forum at the start of yet another weight loss journey in a couple of years time?? What do you plan to do when you get to goal to make sure that the weight doesn’t go back on?

 

[Cherry-Blossom]

A few on here have recommended dr becks diet solution. You can buy the book or workbook online and go through it in your own time. It's based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy so designed to change the way you think and relate to food. That's where the problem is with so many of us yoyo dieters. We don't change how we think.

 

[noodles1609]

Lulu - please give Dr Beck a go, absolutely every single thing you have put there is addressed in the book - it's all there and it really really does work, honestly and truthfully, it does work. All you need to do is read the introduction then do one chapter a day for 60 days, and it doesn't have to be every day, and your learnt behaviours and habits WILL change. I'm still reading through it and I've been reading it since October! I'm doing it slowly and surely through my loss to make sure I've embedded the changes - over 40 years of food thoughts won't change overnight, it takes time, but it's time you are spending on a better future for you and your family and you are so totally worth that time

 

[Lulu1964]

Thanks guys. I downloaded becks book at the start in January, but have been hesitant to open it because the CBT stuff we did whilst I was doing lighter life all seemed a bit new agey and i felt a bit silly doing it... Being someone of very limited imagination, I found it the exercises very difficult, my issues hard to identify so that I could address them...

However, noodles I know you are a confirmed becks believer and you are such an inspiration to me that I will finally open it and give it a go.... I have to do something I know! Thank you again x

 

[justnowillpower]

Lulu I could have written ur thread myself !!!! I'm so glad u had the courage to write it instead. I am exactly the same as u and I'm guessing we are definitely not alone . I think I will take Noodles advice and download Dr Becks book today and try and work through it at my own pace so that it goes in, again like u I attended lighter life and just thought the exercises were daft and didn't seem to help me maintain after my loses. Hopefully this diet will be the last for all of us

Biff xxx

 

[Lulu1964]

thanks Biff, its good to know im not the only messed up person on the planet! . Tell you what, i will do it if you do? deal? xx

 

[frosty85]

I can completly relate to every word you have said I'm gna try that book too its deffo worth a shot I do belive food is a adiction and it definatly is mine x

 

[noodles1609]

Girls, please be assured, I've done LL too, Beck is nothing like that stuff - she doesn't blame your mother for what you choose to put in your mouth or require you to consider a time when you were bullied at the age of 6 as the reason why you can't put down a full pack of hob nobs til they're all gone. It's proper stuff, real stuff about why we choose to make the choices we do and how we can undo them, really straightforward, easy to grasp - just need to keep on doing it and you will get there, I promise

 

[Lulu1964]

Thanks so much for the reassurance Noodles, that makes me feel a lot better....And Im glad it isnt just me that felt a bit weird with the LL exercises!

Im definitely going to have a proper look at Beck over the weekend.. Thank you again xx

 

[justnowillpower]

Hey Lulu. Hope ur having an easy day lol. I have downloaded Dr Beck onto my kindle so we definitely have a deal !!! Lol

Biff xxx

 

[kjs1628]

Lulu, just wanted to say I hear you. You have expressed yourself so eloquently and I think it is sensible to plan for the future even now. I bought Beck because of Noodles- it's good. It's great!

i wonder if Beck know she owes Noodles marketing money!!! Xx

 

[Purple shell]

I can also relate to everything you said, it was like this post was written about me, im deffo gonna give the book a try xx

 

[zeke]

This thread has not only inspired me to buy the book but to buy a kindle to download it onto! I am now the proud owner of a kindle with one book

Like many people, I have to find a way to stop this happening:

That is just the last three years (from my heaviest ever) but my weight over my entire adult life would have had a similar up and down pattern with almost no maintanence periods - you are definitely not alone Lulu!

 

[bellybling]

I've just ordered this from Amazon as a result of this thread.

I can identify a lot with what you've all been saying.

I've been down into the 8's and up into the 18's. Spent most of my adult life either on the way up or on the way down.

How do you maintain without being constantly 'on a diet' ?

 

[Cherry-Blossom]

How do you maintain without being constantly 'on a diet' ?

By changing the way you think. Most of us who struggle with our weight do so because the way we think stays the same, even when we lose the weight, so it all just goes back on. Those 'naturally' skinny people aren't constantly dieting, they just have a different mind set.

 

[bellybling]

The more I read about it the more sensible it seems.

 

[Minerva]

Long term habit change takes a lot of work - and for some even years to change.

I managed to maintain my weight for quite a long time by roughly calorie counting my meals - nothing excessive, but if I knew I needed to eat (for example) 1500 calories to maintain, then I could have 300 for breakfast, 400 for lunch and 800 for dinner. I only ever eat 3 meals per day, so it was easy to stick to. Just raising general awareness of what I ate helped a lot - and as a self-confessed food lover/addict and ex-binge eater I do have to take it seriously. Habits won't change unless I try to do it every day.

Weighing every week and recording that figure - WITHOUT FAIL helps keep things in perspective. Being aware of big social events / holidays that are coming up, to compensate a calorie increase in that period.

I still have logs after I finished LL for about a year afterwards - word document with a graph, first few months daily calorie counts - then next half year just Monday weigh-ins.

That's what needs to be done for someone like me. A lifetime of being careful because it's not something that comes naturally. It takes effort, but it's well worth it!

 

[bellybling]

I tend to lose weight at the start and then I just seem to have a switch in my brain that makes me react normally to food in my opinion. This switch flips as soon as the baby is born though and I inhale any food in sight. Many women lose weight while breast feeding but I pile it on

I was exactly the same when pregnant and breastfeeding. My hormones effect my appetite a lot. A few days before TOTM I could just EAT and EAT. Then after it I'm not that bothered. It took me years to realise that rather than fight this pattern I had to adjust my diet to suit. That has made it a lot easier.