Sorry to ask but help needed please

[giblet]

Hi all,

I'm sorry to start a new post, and feel a bit of a fraud doing so, but I would really appreciate some advice / a kick up the backside and I always find this forum so helpful. Here goes....

I have been a serial dieter for my entire life. About five years ago, I lost 7 stone in 6mths when I got to my biggest but since then I've been going up and down in weight.

I'm now on my second run at Slimming World, and I find it an excellent way of eating, and enjoy class very much.

The problem is that I have a real "comfort eating" relationship with food, and am having a very difficult time with some aspects of life ATM. I was doing well until I decided to allow myself a "flexible syns" day over Easter. That day went fine, but since then I've been out of control.

I get married in 5mths and won't buy my dress until I'm happier with my weight. However, I feel totally out of sorts, very low and lacking motivation (and belief) that I can get where I want to be.

I'd really appreciate any advice or words of wisdom to set me back on track. I'll know the damage after WI tonight, but it's my attitude I need to change longer term too.

Really sorry to moan but I'd really appreciate your help. Thanks in advance x

 

[Cobweb]

Never be sorry to ask for advice, we all need help from time to time and who better to understand what you're going through and therefore give you some relevant advice. Some if it will work for you some of it will not, but there will be something.

For me I have been a binge eater for almost 20 years. The problem with this is that when you are prone to this it is all done in secret so well done for admitting this is a problem and identifying your trigger. The key for me staying on track is being organised. I plan my meals and when I am shopping I stick to what is on my list. I know that if I try to make a pudding that has 3 syns in it but serves 8 people I am gonna be eating enough for 4 people at least which is then 12 syns so I do not make em As soon as I don't have a kitchen full of groceries it throws me into a danger zone of picking up that phone and getting a take away... and in the past when I have had the one take away I can go on having that kinda food for a week or two or three... When I have a flexi day I will not have an open ended flexi day and I will do my homework beforehand as to what I can eat.

These things are nothing if I am not in the right mind set though. if I am lacking some motivation I like to re read through back issues of SW magazines for the success stories. WW magazine also has plenty of stories in them too. One thing I have done to keep me motivated since I ripped up my last sw sheet and requested a new start was to watch one episode of supersize vs superskinny on the channel 4 website, this has been great for me as I can really identify with the people on this program, in the latest series which is airing at the moment they have messages from some extremely obese Americans which really hits home the importance of doing something about it while it is not to late. Find the episodes here Supersize vs Superskinny - Episode Guide - Channel 4.

I hope that some of this helped. I hope you can see how much you deserve to be happy!

Cobweb xx

 

[giblet]

Hi cobweb - I don't know how you "thank" someone properly on here, but thank you! I do watch supersize vs superskinny and everything else diet related that I can. I identify with your description of the binge eating, and eating in secret and I think it is only my fiance that has kept me from having a massive relapse atm. I have always been overweight, but I think for a long time I was in denial that I actually have a problem with food. I think your way of managing it must be very difficult to do, but it's great that you also know the triggers and work so hard to avoid putting yourself in a difficult situation.

I really value your advice and I'm going to pick up some issues of the magazine now! I've texted my consultant so she doesn't make a fuss, but I am going to stay to group and you've really helped me x

 

[Cobweb]

I am glad you feel a little more lifted When I am in a good mindset it is easy to deal with the binging in a more practical way. I still have days where I pace about in the kitchen opening all cupboards looking for something to EAT NOW!! but if I don't have anything I can do it

If it is something you struggle with and you think it is going to be a life long problem battling the binge monsters then I really recommend looking into some Cognitive Behavioural Threapy or some other type of one on one counselling to get to the route of why you do it. It has worked wonders for me, for the first time in my life I am losing weight and not gaining it, I have blips and it has not been as fast as I'd like it ofc, but I am on the verge of breaking this dangerous cycle.

You have lost almost 100 lbs already which is a amazingly huge achievement! Inspire yourself by your successes and don't dwell on the trips.

Cobweb xx

 

[IreneH]

You can do it. Look how many pounds down you are. Make a collage of some wedding dresses and put it so you can see it. And when you are tempted to overeat look at the pics to remind you of what you want to do.

Good luck

Irene xx

 

[Gettingthinnerbytheday]

I was going to suggest some pics of wedding dresses stuck to maybe the inside of cupboard doors so when tempation stricks you see the reason you are doing this.

I think you have come so far & have had an incredible weight loss so far - it proves YOU CAN DO IT

 

[cocktailprincess]

I completely agree with Cobweb- planning is key.

I still plan most of meals in advance and in addition I keep a section for 'Potential Danger Areas' and another section for 'How can I deal with the Danger'........ so for example a potential danger area may be going to the cinema (and even though I have eaten I will still see people eating popcorn and want some) so I plan ahead, and save enough syns so I can sneak in a creme egg, or a box of mikado biscuits.


I binge and emotionally eat and another thing that has helped me is to recognise the difference between emotional hunger and actual hunger. Emotional hunger is recognised by the following:

1. Wanting food NOW (real hunger slowly creeps up on you, emotional is instant)
2. Not being mindful of what your body is saying e.g. carrying on eating even though you are full
3. Wanting a very specific type of food (usually fatty or sweet- as the saying goes "If you are not hungry for free food, you are not really hungry"
4. Feeling guilty after eating- there would be no reason to feel guilty if you were simply eating to satisfy physical hunger
5. Wanting to eat in secret
6. The trigger for the eating was something emotional (and not necessarily bad emotions- I have often binged when I am happy/excited too)

Once you have identified that you are not really hungry it makes it easier to deal with the issue, try and see what made you feel like this and try and plan for it in the future (sounds easy, eh- it's not lol)

Good luck

xxxxxx

 

[julie19]

I still have to plan my meals for the week too, if I don't then the wheels quickly fall off the wagon. This is why I haven't done well for the last few weeks, this week I have planned & so far everything is good. That said though - I am also a binge eater and I do try to eat in secret as I am embarassed that I appear to have no control (even though I have lost so much), being upset/stressed or bored are my main triggers so I have learnt to make myself go and do something to take my mind off it, it doesn't always work all of the time but I always wonder if this is something that will be with me for the rest of my life, I hope as time goes on the bingeing does become less & less but this is why I still get weighed most weeks, I feel like if I do that then I do have some sort of control on it & I can fix it before it all piles back on again.

 

[giblet]

Thanks to everyone - I'm 1lb down this week and although I'm not 100% back on the wagon, you've all really helped and I'm very grateful x

 

[SlimDreams]

I completely agree with Cobweb- planning is key.

I still plan most of meals in advance and in addition I keep a section for 'Potential Danger Areas' and another section for 'How can I deal with the Danger'........ so for example a potential danger area may be going to the cinema (and even though I have eaten I will still see people eating popcorn and want some) so I plan ahead, and save enough syns so I can sneak in a creme egg, or a box of mikado biscuits.


I binge and emotionally eat and another thing that has helped me is to recognise the difference between emotional hunger and actual hunger. Emotional hunger is recognised by the following:

1. Wanting food NOW (real hunger slowly creeps up on you, emotional is instant)
2. Not being mindful of what your body is saying e.g. carrying on eating even though you are full
3. Wanting a very specific type of food (usually fatty or sweet- as the saying goes "If you are not hungry for free food, you are not really hungry"
4. Feeling guilty after eating- there would be no reason to feel guilty if you were simply eating to satisfy physical hunger
5. Wanting to eat in secret
6. The trigger for the eating was something emotional (and not necessarily bad emotions- I have often binged when I am happy/excited too)

Once you have identified that you are not really hungry it makes it easier to deal with the issue, try and see what made you feel like this and try and plan for it in the future (sounds easy, eh- it's not lol)

Good luck

xxxxxx

Great post cocktailprincess, thank you

 

[chocaslim]

Hi there, I plan my meals whilst laying in bed the night before and i have a frozen funsize milky way which is 3.5 syns just an idea but good luck