Steampunk Chic's Diary

Jié Xī

Full Member
Weight loss Attempt #534.

I've been on a diet since I was 14 years old. Now I'm 41. Ugh. I've reached goal 3x in my life and am back up again, though I have already lost about stone so far this year. I'm ADHD and an emotional eater, so I eat when I'm happy and when I'm stressed. And I binge eat when I'm devastated . . . and this past year (March 2019-March 2020) has had quite a few devastating things. I put on 36 pounds. Fortunately, I've lost 13 of that.

Anyway, I have 3 goals.

Initial Goal: Get to 12 stone ASAP, like next week if possible.

Next Goal: Get to 11 stone by the summer.

Final Goal: Get to 9.5 stone by September.

I hope to maintain between 9.5-10 stone.

DIET. I'm not really sure what my diet would be called. I don't measure anything, so it can't really be calorie counting. I'm eating lowish carbs, but not counting them either. My creamer is sugar-free, I make my own honey mustard (honey Dijon mustard, light mayo, and a drop of liquid splenda) which I eat on almost everything (hahaha). Most of my carbs come from rice cakes (with veggie cream cheese) or the breading on chicken and of course veggies. I make potato wedges (and eat with honey mustard) but don't bread them, though I do have tater tots on occasion. And on weekends I eat thin crust pizza or lean burger on 100 cal roll and I let myself splurge on 90% cocoa chocolate bars.

My guess is that my calories are around 1200 on weekdays and 2000 on weekends. My weight is always up on Mondays, but my weigh-in days are Friday mornings, so I pretty much ignore what the scale says on Mondays.

EXERCISE. I'm also trying to up my protein intake because I want to start lifting weights again. I tend to lose pretty steadily when I strength train -- it's just getting myself to do it everyday.
 
Summary of my life in pounds.

1992-1996 -- 150 lbs
1997 -- 170 (after pregnancy)
1998 -- 138
1999-2012 -- 145-160 (with a spike to 170 when I quit smoking)
2013 -- 129-134
2014 -- 150
2015 -- 200+ (pregnant)
2016 -- 180-190
2017 -- 200+ (pregnant)
2018 -- 170-180
2019 -- 150
2020 -- 180

2020 Goal: 134
 
My Rewards.

169 -- Press-on French Nails
164 -- Happy Planner recipe book
159 -- Dye my roots and treat myself to a this hair braiding contraption I saw on Amazon. (And most of my clothes will fit again. Yay!)
154 -- steampunk purse and/or magnetic lashes
149 -- pedicure & leather sandals in black and/or brown (My thin clothes will fit again -- super yay!)
144 -- steampunk accessories
139 -- steampunk outfits. :classic_big_grin:
134 -- more steampunk outfits (including corset vests)

I can't think of a reward for 169. It's only a pound away (I was 171 this morning, and by 169 I mean 169.anything). I should have thought of a reward in February when I was 183. Then it probably would have felt like an accomplishment. But considering that my weight hovered around 171-174 from September through Christmas, getting to 169 doesn't feel like that big of a deal even though I did shoot up to 183 after New Years.
 
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Did a good lower body workout. (Yesterday I did an upper body workout, and Fri and Sat I also worked out, but that's just in the hopes to maintain my weight because I tend to splurge a bit).

Eating so far isn't bad, but I've not had supper yet:

Coffee (w/ sugar free Italian Sweet Cream)
High Protein Shake
4 air-fried chicken nuggets w/ honey mustard

I'm in the mood for a chicken sandwich and potato wedges, but there's breading on the chicken (yum) plus the roll plus the potato so I know that I should cut one of those carbs out. Will update after I decide.

Update: I skipped the roll, so had 2 breading chicken strips and potato. I also skipped my usual rice cake with cream cheese snack since I had 2 carbs with dinner (breading and potato).
 
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Upper Body Workout: chest press, bicep curls, tricep dips, overhead press, delt raises, lat pull down (with bands). Plus, I did some light cardio (steps) for a few minutes.

I really, REALLY want to see 169.anything tomorrow. I haven't seen the 160's since last summer. I can't believe little over a year ago I was 151. I stressed ate to 183 in one year. 😭 I know that I have not fixed that. And if I don't fix that, I will gain it all back again. I don't like exercise enough to turn to it when I'm depressed/stressed and want food. But for now, I'm just working on losing it. Again.
 
Eating Log:

Breakfast: coffee w/ sugar free Sweet Italian Cream
Lunch: Protein Shake and small potato with honey sweet* mustard
Dinner: Grilled Chicken w/ mango habanero seasoning and mashed cauliflower with cheddar cheese

I skipped carbs for dinner since tomorrow is weigh-in (I don't count veggie carbs). My children (2 & 4) are driving me to want to drink, but I will persevere. At least tomorrow is Friday. I don't think I would make it if it wasn't, lol. I've worked out 4 days in a row now, but most of that motivation is due to trying to be out of the 170's tomorrow. Assuming I'll make it, I already feel like getting out of the 160's seems so far away. What will motivate me to keep working out regularly? I need a tiny reward. I guess I could tell myself no 90% cocoa chocolate on the weekend if I don't get in at least 4 workouts, but I don't know that I would hold myself to that --- it's already my reward for keeping my children alive all week. 😂 Besides, I'd really rather a non-food reward. Something girly that makes me feel pretty. Maybe fake press-on nails?

*Hahaha, I just realized I shouldn't call it honey mustard since there's no honey in it. It's light mayo with Dijon mustard and a drop of liquid splenda.
 
I was surprised all day that I wasn't sore from yesterday's workout. Well, it's catching up to me this evening, lol. Everything hurts.
 
So I made it. 169.8.

It was pretty annoying to get there though. I am sore as all get out from the last 2 weekends, so I know the muscles are holding onto water. When I first got up, the scale was saying 170.4. I took an Ibuprofen and waited for over an hour WITHOUT DRINKING COFFEE before I finally needed to go to the bathroom and at last the scale said 169.8.

Am now drinking coffee. Yum.

4_3_20 Weight Graph.png
 
As happy as I am to finally get out of the 170's, I can't believe how much of a fight it was to get here. I was 178 right after Christmas, started a diet in January and by mid-February I was 183. (Sticking to the diet was an epic fail, obviously). So here it is April and I'm only now out of the 170's. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of it. But the next 10 pounds feels pretty impossible right now, let alone 30 pounds. What would make me feel really good is if there is a pair of jeans that actually fits. But I just tried on a pair about a week and a half ago and they snapped but were too uncomfortable to actually where and I doubt 2-3 pounds has made that much of a difference.

I think I need some pretty cool rewards to keep me focused on this and actually get out of the 160's.

#1 Most of my clothes will fit me at 159, so I need to keep reminding myself of that. I feel like such a blob in yoga pants. Maybe I should set out a favorite outfit I see everyday.

#2 My listed reward is to dye my hair (my roots and, er, grays, are showing). I've been dying it red ever since I turned 40 and loving it.

#3 My other reward is this hair braiding contraption I saw on Amazon. I want to be able to do those awesome viking braids and it never looks right (also, with two toddlers, I do not have the time to play with my hair for hours). Supposedly, it helps make it look good and is quick.

Hopefully that is enough incentive. I am really, really sore today so I doubt there is a chance of a workout. Sunday is suppose to be rest day, but it looks like today will be. Maybe I can create a red-haired viking chics vision board to keep me inspired, lol.
 
Well done on hitting your first target!!
 
Tried on a couple pairs of jeans. 1 snaps but way too much muffin top to actually wear. The others still don't snap. Trying not to feel discouraged. 159 is only 10 pounds away. I can do this. I can do this.
 
So, I splurged a lot more than planned this weekend. Not a binge. Just didn't stick to plan. And drank a few extra drinks Friday night. I did squeeze in a mini lower body workout Friday night and a full upper body workout today. Several times i was tempted to get junkfood (chocolate chip cookies / brownies), but never did, though I did eat some of hubby's chocolate (Symphony Milk) in addition to my planned 90% cocoa chocolate bar.
 
I just found your diary
just read you finally got under that 170 cant wait till I can say that (it will be a while yet though as its nearly 60lb away :)

well done for keep fighting for it - some numbers are just so hard to get arent they

I hate it when hubby has chocolate I know with slimming world I could fit some in if I wanted to
but if hubby didnt eat it I wouldnt want it
he has now taken his stash of 'goodies' over into his lockup/
hobbies place only over the road on part of our land
but out of sight out of mind
good luck this week after that fighting you deserve an easier week
 
Did a pretty intense lower body workout.

Did 3 sets of 12 leg curls.
3 sets of barbell squats (30lbs)
And then a variety of body weight exercises for my bum. I'm aiming for one of those perky things I've seen on others and have never had, lol.
Ab routine.

I was going to attempt Intermittent Fasting today (and by that I mean skipping lunch, hahahaha) and I was so ridiculously hungry that I ate 3 air-fried chicken nuggets, and was still starving and ate grilled chicken with sugar-free barbecue sauce on a toasted low-carb wrap. I was much better after that and ultimately it probably fueled my workout. Not sure what I'm going to have for dinner, but it will be healthy. I'm pretty motivated today.

UPDATE: Dinner was steamed potatoes and green beans w/ grilled chicken in a Parmesan sauce.

Oh, and I'm even working on Ahch-To today (climbing 600 steps over the course of the day). I'm just over halfway there.
 
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