Steampunk Chic's Diary

[Larissa]

That quote was from April 3rd, when I first hit 169.8. Since being very frustrated with my STS's, I decided to try on jeans again. Another pair snapped -- though still too much muffin top to actually wear. So I took my measurements and my waist has not gone down at all. I find that very odd, because if I remember correctly, it was always my waist that was first and I could count on a .25 inch loss every week. But anyway, my hips did go down .5 an inch. I assume that's why the pants will snap now. Wouldn't have though that was only .5 inches though. I wish I had taken pictures of how close or not close that pair was to snapping. O well, at least I know I'm headed in the right direction. Now, if they were just wearable. I would feel so much better about myself if I had decent clothes to wear rather than walking around in yoga pants all the time. Hopefully in a week or so. Fingers crossed.

They snap! We all do this but take a minute to acknowledge your achievement, its too easy to keep pushing forward and not look back to appreciate how far we've come. Also, yoga pants are comfy and there's no shame in being comfy.
Good luck today!

 

[Jié Xī]

Thank you, @Teasel!

So today was okay eating wise. Normal for a Friday. But . . . since I always treat on Fridays and Saturdays, this time I did 500 calories (16 km) on my exercise bike in addition to my upper body workout just to cover my treats. Am hoping that off sets my weekend splurges a bit and helps with my weight loss. Would really like to hit <164.9 next Friday so I can reward myself with my new recipe book.

 

[Jié Xī]

I had a great weekend. Still ate my normal weekend light splurge (rice cakes w/ cream cheese and 90% cocoa chocolate and vodka) but I burned 1000 calories Friday night and 800 calories Saturday night (on my exercise bike) as well as an upper body workout Friday and lower body workout Saturday. I'm REALLY hoping that I basically cancelled out my splurge so that I see a big loss this Friday. If I can lose 3 pounds I can open my recipe book (if it comes in by Friday, still haven't gotten the "your order has shipped" email).

 

[Jié Xī]

Day 1 of Potty Training Take 3. Didn't go very well.

Shoulder Routine.

Breakfast: Coffee
Snack: Protein Shake
Lunch: Grapes & Cheese (this was just suppose to be a snack, meaning I was suppose to have lunch, but lost track of time and poof, it was time to make supper)
Supper: Sweedish Meatballs with Spaghetti Squash. (Would not recommend. Will be making it with pasta next time.)
Snack: Jalapeno & Mango Chicken Sausage w/ Cheddar Cheese (+ 1/3 protein shake for extra 10 grams pro.)

Rather discouraged with today. Going to bed early. Feeling blah.

 

[Larissa]

Day 1 of Potty Training Take 3. Didn't go very well.

Shoulder Routine.

Breakfast: Coffee
Snack: Protein Shake
Lunch: Grapes & Cheese (this was just suppose to be a snack, meaning I was suppose to have lunch, but lost track of time and poof, it was time to make supper)
Supper: Sweedish Meatballs with Spaghetti Squash. (Would not recommend. Will be making it with pasta next time.)
Snack: Jalapeno & Mango Chicken Sausage w/ Cheddar Cheese (+ 1/3 protein shake for extra 10 grams pro.)

Rather discouraged with today. Going to bed early. Feeling blah.

Tomorrow is a new day! Have a great one Also - on potty training, they aren't going to pee (or poo) in their clothes in uni. Don't get too worried, it'll come when it's right and you're doing an awesome job! x

 

[Jié Xī]

So I haven't updated in so long not because I gave up trying but because it would have been months of posting STS, STS, STS. I was stuck at 162-165 all summer long, but have finally reached 159.8 last Saturday. How much of that was due to not realizing my thyroid medication needed to be slightly increased, I don't know. But at least I'm starting to lose again.

I'm also remodeling/redecorating/organizing my entire house. I'm on a huge minimalism kick right now. Read every book my library had on the subject. Now I'm reading wardrobe/style books and am putting together a capsule wardrobe. I'm probably donated about 80% of my wardrobe (full of things I've never worn or worn once that were bought because it was something I was "suppossed" to wear, even though it wasn't me, or I wasn't comfortable in it. I've also figured out what my "colors" are, bought myself makeup, and am actually wearing it a couple times a week.

I've spent the last 4 years pretty much hiding / trying to be invisible in baggy black clothes and T-shirts or hoodies due to being heavy (190+). It's ironic that I spent most of my whole life int he 150's and on a diet trying to reach that elusive 120 and now I'm just trying to get back to the low 150's, finally recognizing that that is not fat.

I also think I'm getting to a point where I am accepting my age. That one was a bit harder, not so much because of vanity, but because the career/business I set out to accomplish at 25 is only now starting to come to fruition and I'm 42. My audience base is teens and young adults and so I always imagined myself as one of them. And now . . . well, at 42, I'm definitely not. And while I don't feel 42 (or act 42) and some even say I don't look 42, I still don't look 25. Or even 29. So, it's been more reevaluating how to interact with my audience and still seem relevant or relatable to them as well as be taken seriously by their parents.

Organizing and redecorating my house plays a role in all this because I've never gotten the hang of adulting. And it means looking for my keys (and chap-stick, and sunglasses) every darn day under piles of clutter. Most of this is because of ADHD and never having a routine and being hyper-focused on my career-related studies and research while the house gets neglected. But as I've been working on the house, and actually keeping it clean and organized and getting rid of everything I don't regularly use (minimalism), I've found that I am more relaxed and able to focus. This surprises me, because I didn't think I "saw" the clutter. I just kind of tuned it out.

So anyway, my entire life has sort of been undergoing transformation -- weight, makeup, wardrobe, house. It's pretty cool. Hoping maintenance comes naturally, or if not, at least, is realistically manageable.

 

[Jié Xī]

Been going through my closet, and I mean really going through it by trying absolutely everything I own on, and then asking myself if I would REALLY even wear it. I've probably collected 3+ bags now of donations. But in my closet clearing out, I found a box of "fat" clothes. Obviously, I had forgotten I had it this past year since many of them may have fit me, but what I really noticed is that it was a box of black, shapeless. And I just though how sad, that if for whatever reason, I ended up gaining 30 pounds again and went to get that box, I would have clothes that practically screamed what I thought I was now worth. It would not have been an oh, thank goodness I have something that flatters me at this weight so I can look nice tonight at ________________. It was, you don't deserve to look nice and may as well not go at all because these clothes will just make you look even worse than you are.

So, I chucked every ugly thing in that box and replaced them with a few flattering pieces (a wrap dress, a pair of XL black slacks, and a few flowing blouses). I hope that if I ever have to open that box that those outfits will remind me that I still have worth, that I can still look beautiful, and that I am still me . . . just heavier. I mean, for crying out loud, I usually gain weight due to stress eating which means something rather traumatic has happened (like in 2019 that spawned this last weight gain) so the last thing I need is to open a box from my thinner self telling me how horrid I look.

 

[Jié Xī]

The entire wardrobe/closet project has been put on hold due to a rather large fuzzy brown spot of mold on the ceiling in the corner. I hadn't noticed it because there is a shelf there and I had a rather large box on that shelf. I was going to fix it today but I am feeling rather light headed so suspect I am getting the cold that the kiddos have had since the weekend. And spraying bleach or borax and vinegar over my head followed by scrubbing over my head did not feel like the thing to do. So, tomorrow maybe, if I feel better (though I suspect if the cold is just coming on, I will feel worse).

Overall though, building a capsule wardrobe has been a lot of fun. I have a list of a few pieces that need to fill in the gaps, which means I'm must less likely to buy something I don't need since I actually know what I do need. It's weird but it's like I didn't realize there was a middle ground between looking like a slop and completely dressed up. For instance I don't have (nor have I ever owned) a pair of nice dress shoes that were flats. So if I don't feel like wearing heels (which I rarely do, especially toting around 2 kids under 5 and a diaper bag), I wear sneakers and sweat pants. Because who is going to wear tailored pants with sneakers or flip flops? So the books were talking about loafers and I had to google loafer just to see what it was, and my first reaction was why would I buy that when I could wear heels, and then FINALLY it occurred to me, so you can look nice AND be comfortable!!! So you can walk out of the house wearing a fitted blazer and comfy slacks and look good rather than like a slob! Goodness, I'm 42 years old and just figuring this out. Ugh!

Whatever. At least I will look nice from here on out. Well, I will after I go shopping for loafers, lol.

 

[Cavegirl21]

You have been busy sorting house and your wardrobe out.

I started minimising beginning of year. I started with the kitchen and sold/gave away things I hadn't use for months and then went on to bookcases and done the same there. Also got rid of most of my ornaments and furniture. Everything looks and my head feels clear. No cluttered shelves or drawers so I feel free.

Still doing my wardrobe. Came across some jeans I wore a couple of years ago which are too small for me now. I was told to keep them but know I won't wear them again so they are being donated to the homeless along with jumpers,cardigans and t-shirts I haven't worn or only worn a couple of times. I always say 'You can only wear one outfit at a time so why buy so much clothes'.I don't care if I go out in the same clothes more than once. I don't like clothes shopping the best of times.

Hope you feel better today and can get on with cleaning the ceiling. I am painting every room white. It feels calming. I dress the room with coloured curtains and cushions so there is some colour in the rooms.