I am so surrounded by temptation right now that my crooked thinking is coming into play. It's saying it's the last night of the year, you could have a final blowout and start afresh on new year's day. I was back at work (well placement really) today and and because I have been off for the last couple of weeks I found to my delight that I had received several Christmas presents and had one a couple of things in the Christmas raffle. Amongst the gifts was a huge tin of Cadbury Chocolate biscuits, and not one but two boxes of Fererro rocher Chocolates (perhaps the people I work with think I look hungry). I am now back at home and am tempted to devour the lot. My parents are trying to get the house ready for the new year and arguing about ridiculous things, then they are shouting at me because they are cross with each other and the fact that both of my brothers are out so there is no one to help with the cleaning and preparations. My mum is preparing lots of nice goodies which I can smell cooking: sausage rolls, cheese straws, cheese and caramelised onion tarts, other nibbles are emerging as I type and there is bound to be some glorious champagne and cocktails later on in the evening. My mum is encouragingmy temptation by syaing things like 'it's only once a year for goodness sake and one night off isn't going to ruin your diet!!!! I'm really tempted to go for it but I am not sure that a. I'd feel good about it afterwards or b. that I would manage to get myself back on track tomorrow seeing as our family usually have another Christmas dinner on new years day. I can just see it happening all over again (last year I lost 8 stone in 5 months with LL but came off it Christmas 06 and spent the whole of 2007 regaining all the weight that I lost). I know that my crooked thinging will start to try and convince me that I should have tomorrow off as well and the next day and the next and I will stay disgustingly fat for another year. I'm very much an all or nothing person-I'm either all good or all bad. just can't get the balance right. Then agin....Most people go out to enjoy themselves for new year. I am stuck at home because I don't have the confidence to go out on the town at the weight I am now and have turned down so many offers in the past so that people no longer ask. I don't want to be feeling this way in 2008 so why am I willing to throw it all away for a quick fix- a bit of escapism from a stressful situation which will probably pass in time. But the more I try not to think about the food the more I can't stop thinking about it and the more appealling it all seems by the second.....Argh! It is doing my head in! I am 4 days in and still not in Ketosis. This is the worse time to be feeling both hungry and tempted.......help!