Goreygirl
Gold Member
Hey all
well this week has been a tough week with 2 severe falls off the wagon and a migraine (triggered by stress me thinks). I had been really focussed before that and have been trying to figure out why I have found this week so hard and why I found it so hard to tell the gremlin to feck off (gremlin = my addiction behaviours).
Anyway I've been doing some thinking and something my therapist said to me weeks ago suddenly began to reasonate... . he said that addicts live in chaos and become quite comfortable in that chaos. Now theoretically at the time I nodded at him and agreed I could see parallels in my life (my finances, my failure to deal with paperwork/bills, my sloppy housekeeping, my recent 2 year dysfunctional relationship with a toxic OH) but in all honesty I didn't really "feel" it if you know what I mean?
And today I have realised I am no longer in chaos:
My therapist has said that I am going to have to find that "thrill" feeling from somewhere else....from outside myself in a healthy way... via a hobby of some sort. Human beings are not designed for day to day hundrum routine and we eventually start looking for excitement - I guess it's our choice whether that is via dysfunctional methods (affairs, complusive/secret eating, financial disarray) or functional ways (challenging hobbies etc).
I know thedietguy.com (aka icemoose) talks about this aswell on his blog and how he now does parachute jumps, has climbed Kilimanjaro etc.... and now I can see why.
Gg
well this week has been a tough week with 2 severe falls off the wagon and a migraine (triggered by stress me thinks). I had been really focussed before that and have been trying to figure out why I have found this week so hard and why I found it so hard to tell the gremlin to feck off (gremlin = my addiction behaviours).
Anyway I've been doing some thinking and something my therapist said to me weeks ago suddenly began to reasonate... . he said that addicts live in chaos and become quite comfortable in that chaos. Now theoretically at the time I nodded at him and agreed I could see parallels in my life (my finances, my failure to deal with paperwork/bills, my sloppy housekeeping, my recent 2 year dysfunctional relationship with a toxic OH) but in all honesty I didn't really "feel" it if you know what I mean?
And today I have realised I am no longer in chaos:
- my paperwork is all sorted and filed and up to date
- my bills are all paid and up to date and all arrears are sorted
- my remortgage has come through and I actually have a financial plan in place and have paid off all my debts (thus also reducing all my monthly outgoings)
- I finally broke all contact with my ex and haven't spoken to him in 2 months (thank you Natalie of baggagereclaim.com for the help with this!)
- I open mail as it comes in the door and deal with it/file it.
- While I'll never be as OCD about housework as my sister I am doing chores etc. on a regular basis.
- I finally started taking control of my eating by starting CD.
My therapist has said that I am going to have to find that "thrill" feeling from somewhere else....from outside myself in a healthy way... via a hobby of some sort. Human beings are not designed for day to day hundrum routine and we eventually start looking for excitement - I guess it's our choice whether that is via dysfunctional methods (affairs, complusive/secret eating, financial disarray) or functional ways (challenging hobbies etc).
I know thedietguy.com (aka icemoose) talks about this aswell on his blog and how he now does parachute jumps, has climbed Kilimanjaro etc.... and now I can see why.
Gg