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those with toddlers/baby's help please

big bear

A bear on a mission!
S: 14st7lb
Sorry to post here but thought u lot r so full of knowledge u may be able to help.

My ds will be 20 mths when baby bear arrives. Can u give me some useful tips for dealing with 2 wee ones.

Also those who've had a c-section how did u cope? How long for recovery?

I've only got support from H & a few of my friends have offered to help with ds.

I may have to have a c-section which I didn't want but trying to get used to the possibility it may happen.

Thanks in advance I really appreciate any tips/advice xx
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Ok, my best advice is dont panic. My daughter was 2 and a half when her sister arrived, and it is a very confusing time for them, because they go from being the sole source of your attention, to having to share. So get him involved. When you are feeding, snuggle up with him too, make him a part of it, also make sure he has special time with just you and no baby interference. Kids can go so many different ways, he may absolutely love his new sibling and want to be helpful or he may not, but you will soon find out.

Take all the help you are offered, especially if you end up having a section, because the more you can get some rest the quicker you will be back up to speed.

I have had 3 sections with all of mine, first was an emergency, second was planned but was breech anyway and third was a matter of course because of the first two. I had epidurals for the first two but was under general for the third, because they couldnt get the epidural in. If you can do it under epidural, I heartily recommend it, its weird to be in an operating theatre being operated on but it means you dont miss anything. I had a much harder time getting my head round the third one, because I went from being awake, to being asleep, to being awake and handed this baby out of what seemed like nowhere. A lot of my reaction I think was also due to the fact that I had always been scared of general anaesthetic (fear of the unknown, I had never had one), and so when I was knocked out I was in a bit of a state anyway.

DH wasnt allowed to be in there when I was under general either, so we both missed out really.

Recoverywise, well its an individual thing. I was up and about pretty much within a few hours of the birth, its painful of course but not unbearable, but some people prefer to stay put for much longer in bed afterwards. You will most likely have a morphine IV that you can administer to yourself when the pain gets a bit much. Also if you do have a section they will give you some VERY unattractive support stockings which you are supposed to wear for a good few days after the op, to minimise the risk of DVT, they do it as standard in pretty much all operations these days I think.

Most importantly, dont worry. I know what I have said probably looks horrendous but if you do end up with a section, its actually not as bad as it sounds, because you are really just focussed at the time on the arrival of your new baby and so the rest becomes a bit irrelevant.

Please feel free to PM me or ask any questions if you need to.

big bear

A bear on a mission!
S: 14st7lb
That's very useful thank you. I've started to read up on c- sections & getting used to the idea. It's probably not as bad as I imagine. My mum says its better than having 3rd deg tears again. I'll soon find out on the 4th Oct what the verdict will be xx
It is nowhere near as bad as you imagine, I can promise you that.

There are actually some advantages too, like, you wont be able to hoover for 6 weeks afterwards :D Oh dear, boohoo, someone else will have to do it for you!

And you will know in advance what day you will be having it, so you can plan around it, rather than the unpredictability of going into labour. There are lots of positives to a section, and yes, third degree tear avoidance has to be one of them :D

Keep us posted!
S: 9st11lb C: 8st9lb G: 8st9lb BMI: 22.1 Loss: 1st2lb(11.68%)
There is 20 months between my two. I coped by only doing what I felt able to do & spending time with the eldest as he needed more attention. I also kept to the same routine as before Lydia was born which meant Nathan still went swimming, playgroup etc.

It is hard work & you will be tired, but also you'll find you will cope ok.

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